Tears blind me as the elevator hits the ground floor and I take a moment to compose myself fully. Using the backs of my hands to stem the tears and blot my face without smearing it more. Trying to use the reflection of the chrome doors to clean myself up and wipe my liner and mascara from under my eyes and hide them mess on the black part of my dress. I have always been good at a quick recovery and manage to bring myself to calm and presentable in mere minutes of deep breaths and gulps. Shaking myself, pushing the pain into a deep dark hole that is turning my body icy and my heart numb. Hysteria drying up as logic boots me in the arse.
You should have seen this coming, Camilla. You should have never believed in him.
I make my way through the hall, head down to avoid security taking a good look and glad Jackson isn’t milling around here. He has a day off. I slide into the main part of the club which is crowded with staff doing the daily prep for tonight, and I’m aware of the looks and questioning stares I’m getting.
I cannot hide that I’m upset, because frankly, my makeup must be blotchy as hell in this light. I’m always very precise with it, so looking streaky is a major tell. I head for the bar to grab some tissues and avoid looking directly at any of them as I do so. I don’t want to go back up and fix my face, I’m hoping I can just pass this off as nothing.
“Ouch … watch it.” Hoe-Anne snaps at me bitchily, that constipated face of hers glaring my way as I collide with her, not paying attention to her walking towards me, and then snarl at the smug, dog’s dinner vomited up twice look on her face as I pull back. Ugly souls really do make ugly faces.
The reminder that she was one of his whores hits me ten times more than it ever has, and I look around me suspiciously, suddenly realising that any of the women in this room could have been with him last night. They are all devious backstabbing opportunists who use sex to lure men. It’s why we hired them. She could be here laughing at me from afar.
I wrack my brain to think of who was missing as I scan faces and dismiss the rank letch in front of me with a shove out of my way. I have no interest in her and blur out her protest and insult as she trots off away from me. That anger I felt upstairs rips through me a hundred-fold, with an intensity that turns my blood to molten lava. Faces running through my brain of the staff I thought had more sense than to cross me.
I know it wasn’t Hoe-Anne as I saw her many times through the night, so it had to be someone on the rota who wasn’t needed. I glare passed the skanky po-faced boot walking around glaring my way and look at the girls wandering around with hoovers and dustpans. My head clouding with that red mist once more.
A couple of the toms are here to get their rooms how they like them, and as I watch, I’m overcome with furious jealousy all over again. That kick to my gut once again. The tears completely shrivel into a dark depth of ashy hell and evaporate as that inner demon I possess moves in with a deathly chill, she is a queen at possessing.
The ‘me’ who has been sleeping for far too long. That wicked, cold bitch who will let no one fuck with her. She raises her calculating head and views the room with the eye of a nuclear vessel who has her radar pinging on all targets. Scowling hatefully at the girls I thought I could rely on.
“Cam … a word.” Alexi’s voice cuts into my thoughts, disrupting them with a sharp yank of my brain back to the present and I throw my head over my shoulder to catch sight of him wandering in.
He looks less angry, but as I’m on an Armageddon ten strike mode, I just sneer and turn away from him, walking another few steps to widen the gap and stand in the middle of my club. Making it clear he gets zero chance at talking to me and I want him to leave me alone. I’m figuring out which whore gets her ass handed to her and the two of them can go fuck off together.
People rush around manically to look busier now he has appeared and it’s obvious to everyone some sort of ‘Camlexi’ battle is brewing. Last time they felt this much fury in the room he chased me down the hall wearing my breakfast. The thought of that cross just fuels my fire and every shitty mean thing he ever did to me in the past is all the ammo I need.
I can feel him making his way towards me, his presence affecting me as it does and do a quick glance of the room for an avenue of escape, so he doesn’t get a chance. There isn’t one. He has men on the doors, all the exits and the way back upstairs are behind him and I have a room full of staff. The only way to make Alexi fuck off is to draw attention to us in a major way. He won’t make a scene if all eyes are on me.
“Can I have your attention everyone?” I call out loudly over the humdrum of busy noise, stupidly nervous and completely impulsive in a bid to make him stop walking at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Alexi halting mid-step as he freezes at the unexpected nature of my reaction. Mico appears behind him and stops in his tracks too, as the attention of everyone in the room turns to me and the noise drops to a freakish silence in a blink. You could hear a pin drop and it’s eerie as hell. Suddenly the centre of focus and everyone looks to me and then the two awkward men in the bar’s passage looking like they just got hit with headlights. Alexi for once looks uncomfortable and tries to relax his posture to appear unaffected. Mico looks concerned, face dropping and brows joining. He knows something is brewing.
I take one last glance toward Hoe-Anne, fury in my veins fuelling what I’m doing and do a sweep of all the female faces in the room surrounding me one last time, none the wiser to which slut is getting slapped. One of these tarts was with him last night and I’m done being fucked around by this Carrero. No more. He doesn’t get to use women and sex to hurt me ever again.
I look right at him for a long cold moment, to regain that hurt from upstairs, pulling myself together and mustering all my hatred in one scathing glare before turning back to my employees with an evil smirk as my plan formulates in my brain.
Fake bravado in my posture and pushing as much strength into my voice as I can. I repeat to myself.
You are an ice queen. You have more skill than this.
“Thanks, dahlings. I just wanted everyone to take a moment and give me your undivided attention. I promise it will only take a second and then you can all toddle off back to your little jobs.” I sound brighter than I feel and that ability to act my way out of everything moves in and expertly seeps into my persona. She’s still in there. Months of suffering and rebuilding myself because of this man and one little betrayal brings her back in all her glory.
Camilla has suffered the death of her heart all over again. I feel nothing in the space it was beating anymore but ice queen has found her crown.
There’s a shuffle of murmurs as they exchange questioning glances, and some look at Alexi to see if he is part of this unexpected announcement. I often rally my staff in small groups to assign them jobs, but I’ve never addressed the whole room this way, and I can see many worried looks developing over many faces.
They’re worried, as they should be.
I’m in no mood for screwing around.
There is a scurry of noise as two of the escorts walk in the front door late for their shift and I wait a moment until they realise, I’m standing here. Eyes on them coolly and I tap my nail on my watch and point for them to go stand by the others.
“If you could join us for a minute, that would be lovely. This concerns all of you.”
of the group and turn to face me, whispering questions and getting shrugs in response. They haven’t missed it yet. No one has a clue about
into me and I feel nothing but numb and
in the background listening. I feel sick and my heart
and lift that defiant chin a little higher. Flicking my bright red
to treat me like a side chick … he wants to fuck me around … he can suffer the consequences. I won’t be kept a secret anymore; one final ‘here I am’ before he can go fuck himself. In the room he humiliated me in, in front of Hoe-Anne many months ago, seems poetic somehow. I won’t be a dirty secret he hides in the shadows
very important I should only employ staff I feel I can rely on. I figured the best way to do that would be to ask you all a simple question. Sort of reconfirm loyalty, thin out the herd and kill off the sickly ones,
no
way and I know many of you are new staff and may not be aware of just how important my role is here. I now own fifty percent of the building and business you are standing in and have control of all that happens
I’m more than just an appointed hostess who tries to make her life hell; I own that bitch’s arse and have been paying her wage for weeks. It feels great to see that little titbit spread across her face in the most
down and I wait for that intense silence once more before I continue, staring straight ahead at the main huddle of staff and try to keep my shit together. I can feel his penetrating gaze from afar. The waves of his energy and
Cheating fucker.
on in. I do hope you will all understand as it’s down to that, that I need to take
to show him I won’t take this bullshit lying down. He wants a queen I will show him a fucking queen! Then when he explodes and does what he does in the name of punishment, I will have my complete and absolute reason for walking away and never looking
the serious confusion and questioning that sweeps over his face as he attempts to pull apart my motives and intentions. He has no clue what I’m doing and standing ready to march over to me, poised
breath and
if you have ever dated, kissed, shared oral sex or fucked Alexi Carrero. Promptly if you would.” It’s out in a
The words take what’s left of my crumbling soul and blow them away on the wind. It hurts more than I thought it would and I brace myself for the truth I’m about
to ‘what the fuck are you
and I guess he is taming the beast who wants to come over and snap my neck. Stopping the lurch forward I catch in that powerful body. Restraining him and
have crossed a line you cannot come back from. All that
until one brainless bimbo lifts her hand hesitantly, all while staring at Alexi. It draws me back and gives me something else to concentrate on. It’s almost like she is afraid not to and one by one a few others do the same. They know he is watching, and he knows which little bitches he has had his hands on. Which vaginas his dick has graced. Which mouths have pleasured his
They lie—they fucking die.
that passes over me, but I hold my ground and
won’t care. Not
Even so, it’s a dire and low number for what I expected, and it won’t be hard to replace these women soon. The faces are pale, worried, regretting their own
array of women before me. All mousy types with severe ‘yes sir’ complexes and one or two are professional submissives. Not one of them anything like me in looks or demeanour. He likes the good little obedient ones who don’t stand out too much for being stunning either. I guess
this room now knows what he and I are, or they suspect anyway. How could they not after this?
know I’m a target so outing this isn’t going to change a damned thing. I’m
sneer and a dark cloud of ‘I’m going to fucking kill her’ oozing out of him and I get an ounce of
own feet as I single her out. All heads turn to her and her wide-eyed look to Alexi gets her no back up at all. He just turns towards me and shakes his head—deathly slow, precise, eyes locked on his target. It’s all in the eyes. He is beyond furious, blood boiling manic type of mad, and his pupils are the size of pinholes. He looks exactly like the demonic schizoid who used to terrify me. That fear stirring down low once more, and
being betrayed. He made me
deserve more than this. I
‘I’m verging on volcanic right now and I may actually strangle you in front of these people’ just pulls a
so pathetic I eye roll. It’s slow, hesitant and totally unnecessary as I already know what a loose vagina’d hoe she is. She let him fuck her in front of the entire club. Says it all
very pointed look at my so-called ex-man, drilling that point into his face with a blue-eyed gaze that could cut glass. His face twitches as he suppresses the explosive temper growing inside of him and loses what control he has of his cool demeanour for a second. Mico once again keeping a tight rein on him. I’m humiliating him in front of all his bitches, just like he did to me. I’m the one in control right now … in my room, in my club,
heaving inhale of a couple more. One more girl lifts
worried chatter as they whisper accusations. One girl finally moves forward from the back, a nobody from the toms who specialises in role play. She looks me up and down and
but with an evil smile aimed at her ample bust, disgusted with her lack of remorse. She looks
she is right here to out his bullshit. Truth always has a way of coming
at first, but I’m beyond caring and for all I know, he coached her on how to respond should I ever find out. I’m done with this shit.
your shit and get out of my club. You have twenty minutes if you expect to get paid for today.” I wave my hand airily towards them all, fuelled by the insta-rage of her answer. Anger and something else swirling up into my
blank all of them now I have done what I intended. Acting smug and cross my arms across my chest in a manner he knows only too well. Camilla is on the warpath and willing to take that crap, head on. I may be shitting myself inside with what I know is coming but I will not back down and show
him out of the room quickly.
the rage and aggression like a huge black hole sucking the air out of his space as he leaves and I shiver, knowing what I’ve started. This will get the punishment I goaded him for so long ago. If anything brings about the worst of him it’s this right here, and I may finally get my answer on whether someone like him can ever really change. Not that it matters anymore. The second he cheated; we were done.
to the room and the stony figures
when there is an immediate jump to attention and people scurry around