I don’t know if this was all part of his punishment brewing from running away and this is maybe the backlash. Romancing me in bed, only to make me feel like a meaningless whore by cutting all ties and leaving me out in the cold for weeks on end. I know he’s probably fulfilling his needs between someone else’s thighs. I try not to think about it, trying to convince myself that I didn’t imagine something else in him that night, but when facts are slapping me in the face it’s hard to hope for anything.
Only I would fall for the devil himself who makes me feel completely worthless in every way.
‘‘Lex says you need to pack up, I am moving you.’’ Mico breaks into my listless daze as I sit on the couch, staring blankly at my laptop. Some video droning on endlessly about some vague, obscure shit that I clicked on for something to watch. I have no idea what it’s about, and I am startled by his sudden appearance, but the real reaction comes from his words. Heart elevating its beat instantly.
‘’Alexi is here?’’ My stomach does a little flutter, and despite myself, I get a high happy flip of insides that I might see him. I hate that in the past two weeks I have missed him, kept checking my phone and bringing up his name like a love-sick puppy and then felt like a pathetic idiot each time.
I cannot control my internal reaction having first confirmation that he is actually in the building, where I am, close by, finally.
‘’Just do as you’re told.’’ Mico frowns, avoiding eye contact and then leaves me to it but I can’t just take that as an answer. If he’s here then I want to see him! I want him to face me and know why he has completely just iced me out after everything. I want to know first-hand if it was all a lie and I imagined the whole thing.
I’ll know by his reaction to me, I will know by his eyes, his tiny tells and how he behaves when seeing me again. I need to know, it’s clawing up inside me like a persistent ache.
As soon as I know Mico is gone I run like the wind to my room filled with stubborn determination and throwing all sense out the freaking window. I pull on a dress and discard the sweatpants I had on, pull my hair out of its ponytail and make myself presentable in minimum time. I was always good at flash prepping to get ready in a hurry and do so with amazing skill.
I’m not going to sit up here in the hope that he comes up. I’m going downstairs to see him and finally dull down this gnawing ache of longing I have for him, pining away like some sad idiot.
***
I walk out of the lift on the ground floor cautiously, looking around warily for signs of security doing their walkabout. Getting in and down here was almost like mission impossible when it stopped on the office floor and I had to hide against the wall so Mico didn’t see me. Damn lift and its need to open on every floor. I just thank my stars they never switch on the cameras in there.
the office, the door wide open, and just black shadows milling around as Mico
Still, a hint of nerves at coming down here, as it’s my first time
of my being stops still and inhales fully. I wasn’t expecting him to just be
sucker punch to the stomach
heart literally stops beating as soon as I see him. Tall and gorgeous with that perfect bad boy face focused on a clipboard in his hand. Perfectly sculpted male, oozing testosterone and confidence, and he just looks like my
way about him is beyond me. I guess the devil is a charmer and uses his wiles to seduce more than his power to terrorise you. When he made me
is more prominent than normal. It’s like Alexi is having a casual day, weirdly, yet
he senses me there and looks up and towards me with a slight head turn, eyes locking on me as soon as
interesting to him than a passing bird. Disinterested,
him in a bid to get his attention. Craving him, longing for some sort of show that I mean something. All self-respect sliding away with the last ounces of my dignity, and yet I can’t stop my feet from taking me towards him. I know I’m being pathetic and breaking all the rules and codes of the boy-girl game but I need him to
me after what we had, and I deserve to be treated like a human, someone with feelings and worth, not some sort of disposable object without any value in his
glance at me. Security don’t react, it’s only me after all, and go back to looking at what he is pointing out. Alexi
just see red. Little tramp has been fucked by him more than once, I can tell. She has that smitten look of a woman who hasn’t been burned by him yet and has only
now!’’ I repeat, snapping at him with desperation, mixed with anger at how he is treating me. Stupidly vocal but it’s fuelled with despair and heartbreak and my better sense is not engaging in
the jaw and his body stiffens. I just pissed
him the clipboard with a nod and that complete air of control and lack
move Joanne stays rooted firmly to the spot like an unwanted bad smell as he finally brings his eyes back to me steadily and scowls. Everything inside of me just dies with that look and now I know for
last flickering ounces of hope die a death and fall by the wayside as my heart