"What?" it's like every cell in my body stops as a deathly silence fills the air, shock stilling my thoughts, my lungs ceasing to move, and you can hear a pin drop as his words sink in slowly…. so fucking slowly.
Juan executed my family. They didn't die in battle.
That's a lie, it can't be true because they weren't the only pack to never return. The entire Whyte line, among others, they all died protecting our kind. It was a war for god's sake, and we had many casualties. Did Juan kill them all too?
The doctor has to be playing me, lying to mess with my head for some kind of ulterior motive and I'm falling for it. Maybe it's a test to see if I'm strong enough to turn, despite being in this isolation tank. Maybe I was wrong to trust him, and this is all a ploy to break me down and get intel he thinks I may have… but how would he know her name?
I take a much-needed breath as I begin to suffocate under the pressure of my own mounting emotions, realizing I wasn't inhaling or letting it go. I take a moment to let it sink in, my head spinning as my brain tries to dissect and makes sense of each word and how it comes together in what he just said. I don't know how to react; cry, rage, scream, laugh? I sit here like a numb dead weight staring at him as though he just told me the world is ending and we're to wait here to die. Momentarily devoid of feeling as shock fills the void.
It has a different effect on my body though, and for a second, I think I might throw up. I wretch, my body lurching, and as it all spins out of control and I have to lift my heels to the edge of the bed so I can prop my head between my knees to ground myself. Swallowing down the rush of salvia that clogs my throat and breathing through the waves of nausea.
"I'm sorry…. my memory is not what it was, but the gist is that Juan was eliminating the possibility of a prophecy coming to fruition… a white wolf Queen, rising from the shadows to reign the people in a victorious and united future. Juan believed your mother was going to dethrone him, after she proved herself a worthy warrior on the battlefield and led many a victorious attack on your enemy by uniting the packs. Your kind were losing the war, and she turned it around… your mother, she was gifted, and special, and more powerful than he could ever dream of being. The kind of specimen I could only dream of being able to study." He sounds concerned, regretful, apologetic, all at once, but it's all meaningless noise and I just keep coming back to it, over and over.