Chapter 13: Alora Can!
I fall silent as I pull on the last item from the pile, gritting my teeth at his pigheaded denseness, as that ember erupts into a little flame, pushing my nerves taut. A small candle sized one, that hits in the dark recess and instantly glows, and grows, to epic proportions of robust flame, that moves me to dress faster with a hostile last tug to secure my pants. My blood boiling as it overtakes me, and I sweep my hair back with sass and grab the door handle angrily.
Yanking the door open, surprised to come face to face with him as he's leaning his forehead against the door and I almost face butt him full on. His eyes glowing with the turmoil of his emotions, but it does little to dampen mine. It only notches my inner fury up another click. They meet mine and lock on in that special way we have whenever our eyes connect, the sizzle, the connection, but he isn't expecting the response that comes out of me. Nor the rage. That little burning flame of crazy that explodes at the sight of him.
"You didn't even like me before that night! You didn't know me! This, us, it's not real. It's something implanted inside of us by something up there." I point skyward, aggressively, glaring at him. "We would never have fallen for one another, never have crossed paths in any kind of way if it wasn't for the fates. I wasn't on your radar, and to be honest, I didn't even like you anyway." I shove him back out of my space with a push to his ab's, so he clears the doorway, and he just gawps at me like I've lost my mind. Maybe I have! "You don't even remember me, do you? … Before that night. I didn't think so! … You need to pull your head out of your ass and remember that. Carmen was the woman you loved and planned a life with, and you chose her…. Loud and painfully clear! You said the words to me, and this is done. The fates didn't stop us, Colton, you did and your family, and everyone else in this hell hole that confined my kind to a dark hole on the outskirts and left us there to die. So don't you dare tell me how awful this is for you, because you have no fucking idea what awful is until you've walked in my shoes for the last ten years of life. You have Carmen, you have a pack, a home, and a fucking choice in all of this. I never did! The fates didn't punish you with this, they probably expected you to man up and do what they told you to do, for whatever reason they decided on us! You did this to us! You did this to me! Suck it up and shut the fuck up!" I have no idea where this angry dress down comes from, but I deliver it in a raspy, accusatory tone, right into his face. No fear or wuthering wallflower, cowering in front of an alpha of the pack. Just an angry girl, in the face of a stupid boy, who bruised her heart and is pissing her off by denying his part in it. A powerful frustration filled lecture, snarls and throaty growls included, and I lock a penetrating gaze on him pinning him where he stands as though I could impale him with looks alone.
It's true though. He can stand making speeches and regretful apologies from now until eternity, but the simple fact is, Colton had a choice, and this is what he chose. He doesn't get to whine like some spoiled pup about it now. He's an alpha for god's sake, and he needs to own it. Not act like some overdramatic teen whose parents are being lame and stopping him from doing something superficial.
He stares back at me in utter shock, rendered mute at my outburst and unsure how to even respond anyway. Even his mind link is silent. I don't think any wolf this far below his station has ever talked to him like that, and he doesn't seem like he knows quite how to respond. If I was anyone else, he probably would have me pinned to the floor by the throat and reminded them who their alpha was. Instead he's silently shocked that I even had it in me.
I 'arghh' at him, and shove him back abruptly, marching past, simmering with this sudden newfound rage and I know it can only be some sort of delayed reaction to what happened tonight.
I'm not myself, I don't feel like I'm really here, and to be honest this whole Carmen, Colton, Vampires, bullshit and being brought to the home of the people who made my last decade worthless, is all a little too much for me right now. I'm angry, seething, bubbling away inside... at him, them, life, The god damn fates. Most of all, I'm angry at me; for being this weak stupid girl who wasn't good enough to keep, and too useless and vulnerable to save her friends. Her family.
I lost everything and I almost died. Terrified inside, deep down, like a churning pit of foreboding that shadows me, of the monsters I knew only from stories. The ones who jumped out of the fables and threw me out of my own bedroom window.
Knowing they are out there and close enough to really devastate our kind is enough in itself to make me cower for the rest of my life. They had a weapon, a sound, that much like Carmen's had the ability to hurt us and render us unable to turn. That means we're no longer the stronger in this newfound war and we can all be killed. I have bigger things in my head right now, than love confessions, and pining assholes trying to mess with my head, while arguing with his mate.
"I'm not going to spend my days whining about this crap, and I need you to just stop, okay. The words you said in the forest were the end of this. There's nothing to say or drag out and talk through." I turn on him aggressively, lifting my palms in a show of 'what now?', meaning where the hell am I meant to be going in this damned house because I have never been here before and I'm fucking lost. He nods back at a door behind me with very little to say. His expression ashen, temporarily without words, and not really tackling my mood in the slightest.
To be honest, he looks a little shellshocked and right now, I don't really care. I have weeks of pent up heartbreak at this guy's hands and I'm done being a push over. My life, in one night, went from awful, to completely rock bottom, end of the line, apocalypse, kind of bad. I have bigger headaches than him.