“Oh, come on it was a joke Richards!” Hayes shouts to me as I get out of the pool.
“Fine, we’re going in the Jacuzzi!” Rochelle says.
Jeff follows behind me.
“Leave me alone Jeff!” I yell.
“Alex! Alex, slow down.” Jeff rushes after me.
When I can no longer walk, I cover my face. He picks at my fingers, until our eyes meet.
I hate that I’m like this. I hate that things get to me, like this.
“Alex are you okay?” He asks.
I shake my head, at the trigger words.
“I can’t breathe. I think I’m having a panic attack.” I say.
I’m pacing the living room, every few seconds I stop to catch my breath.
Everything was too close, everything was too loud. My heart is rac-ing. The air is disappearing.
“Alex. What do I do?” Jeff stutters.
I can’t speak.
I’m scared. I am
hug. My face is against his bare
“Thank you.” I say.
we both stare at each other. Tears still
wanted to stop my thoughts. More importantly, I want-ed Jeff to
top of him, pressing both my lips, and body against
feel Jeff’s tongue collide with mine. I’m gliding my tongue against his still wet bottom lip. Jeff holds my upper back, then goes lower and lower until he reaches my waist. I kiss his neck and comb
name,
in a trance. I’m just forcing it though. I go for Jeff’s shorts, but he grabs my hands,
offended.
“What?” I ask.
not doing this.”
go
you talking
to ask you what’s wrong, then you throw yourself at me, and you just want to have sex? Right now?”
I’m nervous. I chew some popcorn,
hugged me.”
crying.”
barely know each other.” He
“So.” I mumble.
at me, he wants me to look at him. I can’t, I’m
you liked me?”
tugs his hair. I
“I do.” He’s hesitant.
you have feelings
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