Under a Starless Sky

Chapter 36

Loxy was aware Shen was looking at her strangely. She encouraged him to speak his mind.

“Would you do something for me?” Shen asked.

“Jon, I love you. I will do anything for you, but I will not kill you, not in this present context, if that’s what you’re getting at,” TL said.

He waved that off. “I am not talking about death.”

“Okay. What would you like?”

Shen swallowed. He was embarrassed.

“What? You’re afraid to ask me for sex?”

“No,” Shen said. “No! It’s not about sex. I am okay with sex.”

“We haven’t had sex,” TL said.

“I am not wanting sex,” Shen said.

“You have never not wanted sex,” TL said. “I am worried.”

“I will have sex when I am ready to have sex,” Shen said.

“Fair enough,” TL said. Softly. “I am sorry. What did you want ask me?”

Shen was mad. “Give me a moment. I am trying to stop thinking about sex,” he said.

“Everyone thinks about sex,” TL said.

“I know! I think about it all the time and tech so exaggerates that,” Shen said.

“And, for the first time ever, you’re what, exercising discernment?” TL asked.

“I am older, wiser, and- I want Loxy,” Shen said.

“Nice,” TL said. “That’s a gift that will make her smile when she downloads it.”

“I want to do something else for her,” Shen said.

“What’s that?” TL said.

“Promise not to laugh at me,” Shen said.

“I would never laugh at you,” TL said. The look he gave her made her retract. “I will endeavor not to laugh at you.”

“Would you teach me to dance?” Shen asked.

TL laughed. Shen frowned. “Seriously. I tell a joke and you say I am not funny but I put my heart out and you laugh?”

“Seriously? All of that lead up just to ask me to teach you to dance?” TL said.

“I never learned to dance. I was always afraid I would be laughed at so I refused every instance and Loxy knows how to dance and she loves swing dance and all sorts of dance and I am from Texas and can’t even two step without tripping over myself and aggravating partners who assured me they could teach me and ended up just getting angry and dropping the matter and not being able to dance has seriously impeded my ability to connect because most women want to dance and I suck and I don’t want to live another life sitting at the table watching other people dance…” Shen said. He made himself stop and breathe. “And, I was thinking. I am young again. My brain is more plastic now than it ever was and so, maybe if we focus entirely on dance and yoga, I can learn both, and be more flexible, and maybe next time I am old I will be a little healthier, but mostly- I would like to be able to dance with Loxy.”

TL stood up, stepped away, and extended a hand

“What?” Shen asked.

“Let’s dance,”

now?”

better to

“But…”

Brady ‘fro’ and Men in Black attire complete with glasses were comically trope. Backup singers danced in place, swing hips, serenading a shared mic. A weird, extended intro into an ELO song was in play. If Jeff was irritated by the cycling of intro, he gave no indication- with the dark glasses, he was Spock blended with Elwood Blues. The music

isn’t going to work,”

here to laugh

so tall,”

renewed. She was now TL, 12, and almost the same height as Shen. Loxy was taller than him as an adult, and so it was appropriate she was taller than him in childhood. She was dressed to dance in a Winter Formal, short blue dress, gold

“Gosh,” Shen said.

“You approve?”

“You’re the most beautiful

“You

“I didn’t…”

in, took his hand, and brought him to his feet. She walked backwards leading him to the middle of the Hall. She placed

is beating,”

supposed to,”

“This fast?”

You will survive,”

do we dance?”

“Shhh,” TL said.

why do

“I am not forcing you. You asked,”

did. I meant, in the

of life is about experiencing being awkward and realizing this, too, is survivable. People who can tolerate being embarrassed, teased, bullied, being socially awkward, who can survive failure, who can laugh things off and hang in there, those people have a strength that is more important than physical strength, or even intelligence. That is optimum resilience and that leads

Tears moved.

you

“To prove this, too,

laughed. “Seriously,

love you so much and I want this

song manifested.

filling with tears.

This moment is perfect. Jon, you’re not just giving her the gift of this dance and future dance, you’re giving her a childhood she didn’t have. You and her, together, children. Growing up together.

to kiss you now,” Shen

I am going

swaying, turning. He felt her assisting his movement by directing his Uniform. It started as a direct pressure that over time became subtle, allowing him to respond to the direction with gradually

They both stopped dancing. There were others present. Shen looked to TL to

laughing,”

are you?” Shen

in her twenties came forward. “Forgive us for intruding on your

“You want to

“Yes, please,”

TL shrugged. She looked to

okay,”

were people that didn’t belong in this world. A rush of songs and people and styles came to the floor, reminding Shen of a scene in the Disney film ‘Bedknobs and Broomsticks,’ “Portobello Road.” Every age of humanity was represented. Time seemed suspended. Someone thanked him for holding the

a dance to stare at your phone?”

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