Touching the Heart of Ace

"Rape is very natural."

I kept on staring at the white tiles that seemed to have no end.

How big was this room, anyways?

"Dolphins, ducks... and many other animals exhibit very horrifying sexual acts including gang rape."

"That is not what people say." I mumbled out. Why were we having this conversation? This was not what I wanted.

"You are a very smart young man, Davidson. You should know better than to share your problems in Reddit." The good therapist handed me a bottle of chilled water.

"People do not know it is me."

Could I just go home?

"That is not the point. You are letting people to tell you what you should or should not feel."

I sighed.

"Do you feel that way?" She took her notepad back and tapped on the hard bind.

"Hmm?"

"If I asked what happened, would you say you were raped?"

My heart skipped a beat.

"People..."

"No, not people. Just you. Do you think that is what happened to you?"

"I don't know." I told her; but she waited. "I don't think so." I nibbled my lips. "Is that... is that the right answer?"

"What you say is the right answer Davidson; what you feel is the only thing that ever mattered..."

I gulped.

"I don't think I was raped... but... people they say... since he was drunk and I was... not okay with it... it is rape..."

"Do you think so?" She gave me a kind smile when I looked at her.

"N... no."

"Alright. You can change your answer whenever you want David. I am here to help you."

I knew that.

But she could not help. I was too messed up.

I was loving a man I was not supposed to... or that was what people in Reddit said.

But... I loved that man so much that it hurt.

I sniffled and I was given a wet tissue.

I did not deserve this... I...

"If I ask you what you were feeling at that moment will you be able to tell me, today?"

The same question the nth time since I started this joke... therapy.

How many days had it been already?

Days? Months? Years?

It felt like years.

But this time I nodded and she smiled.

She had a very kind smile and I felt like I did not deserve that either.

"I felt... violated... like this was not the way it was supposed to go... that is it... but then again it was supposed to go that way too... just... not drunk..."

"So you do not like Robert was drunk..."

I cried. It was a simple question, yet I cried.

hated how pathetic

the times where Robbie would give

that I would shyly say 'no' and he would say he could not hold it in and

wrong with me,

You said rape is natural... Should I

me cry and

doctor." Rest of my life depended on

and then waited some

who has hurt you does not make it

symptom. Yes, patients who have 'Stockholm syndrome' mimic people who are in love. But Davidson, it is like saying depression patients are sad and anxiety patients are afraid. We could agree to

I shook my head.

in the

Stockholm syndrome and that is the thing will all disease... It needs time and understanding... and testing before jumping into conclusion with diseases that are

my heart was like a

And I cried again.

him... I... Everyone was saying he would not have done that to me if he did love me and

for me to

"Do you feel loved?"

"Does Robert love me?"

until I answered her

in the whole world that

smiled. "Isn't that

"People said..."

about making you feel better? Or

I shook my head.

without looking back and... he would hurt me in the future... But they did not tell me how I would be able to

know why they

"No."

they don't know Robert... They are only saying what they think the best. Abusive relationship, get out... abusive husband, get a divorce... abusive parents, move out... Sometimes,

We both remained silent.

most we had ever

it to make you feel better. It is in the nature, so it is natural... so is murder, bullying... Rape is not inhumane because it is not natural, Davidson, it is because humans are cerebrally evolved. That is the answer. It has nothing to do with honour, self-respect or anything... It has nothing to do with one being weak or other being strong... we as an organism are evolved so much that... our mind itself is a being... and an activity

I blinked.

earth that we know of, is both a boon and a curse. Like I said, the effects of rape are exponential to the effects it would implicate physically on the body... but... it is difficult to make everyone understand the 'how'... yet everyone

Nothing happened really. He just... and

She nodded.

a big

She nodded again.

to, Davidson. I am here to listen and help; not to show you that I know better about you than

I wiped my face.

you... One time in a bus on a school trip, a man had squeezed my

raped? What was

the therapist was nodding like she understood

better than

or you are not; simple as that.' Someone had commented and nothing was even more confusing to

breathed on my face and told me he would fuck me raw and bleeding..." I mumbled... that also

I did not know.

hurt you."

not... rape." I gulped.

would not it

I said 'no'... it is

"Yes."

What did that mean?

tell you is very sensitive... okay, Davidson? If you don't feel emotionally well at the moment, we can

"Please continue."

closed her eyes for a moment before opening

why people are saying touching someone who said

I shook my head.

is rape. Sex has to be always... always consensual. Here, Robert was not coherent and a non-coherent person cannot give or receive consent. Exactly the reason why the first time you felt 'violated' but

the next sentence

to avoid what has

was raped?

add... I left it

sexual predator, there is next to nothing that would stop them from abusing unsuspecting people, except medical treatment. Scary, yes. And to save them from destroying the human race, we need strict laws and equally capable therapists who can diminish the

mind and I

who really don't know what they are doing

Not the time and honestly what she was saying was true and for the first time this

discretion lies in you who have 'a non-consensual kink'. But what if... like your case you had really meant 'no' and he did not listen or his drunk mind did not register the implications.

that it happened. Not just sad... he hasn't forgiven