Touching the Heart of Ace

I knocked on the door like a lunatic, and stormed past the person who opened it, not caring if it was Robbie, Jason or that fucking bitch Janice herself. All of them could burn in hell including myself but my sweet baby...

She fell and...

I was shedding my jacket, shoes and belt waywardly all over the living room, storming to her room.

??She is in my bedroom, Angel.?? I felt a soft tug on my hand and it guided me to a dark and gloomy room.

The light I kept in this house was flickering with fever and it was not surprising to see everything dimmed.

Even the crashing waves sounded so worried.

My baby, where was she???

I choked back a sob looking at her.

Her tiny sweet body was looking so fragile and non-existent on Robbie??s California King bed.

??Oh.?? I small whimper of despair left my throat and I was shaking so bad. I swallowed my sobs and I gently brushed her tiny forehead and hissed, when I got burned.

She was burning up so bad.

??Daddy...?? I called for Robbie because I was so scared and I did not know what to do. She was shivering under the blanket but was sweating too.

I heard her tiny whimpers, and I felt I was dying.

??Daddy... Prin... cess...?? I sniffled and I truly was dying.

??She needs a cold bath.?? That was all he could say and I noticed how tired and lonely he looked.

I stretched out my arm and he cuddled closer to my body; he was also shaking. ??She is fine Angel. She is fine.??

I heard my baby whimpering again. ??I am gonna... I am gonna...?? I could not finish my sentence as I stripped myself to the underwear and removed Lia??s sweater and onesie.

I picked her up and I bit my sob again when I got burned by her fever again. She was shaking to her core. Robbie put his hand behind my back and I was doing everything to stop from screaming.

Robbie took my baby out of my hands as I lowered myself to the Jacuzzi filled with cold water. I looked around and noticed how cluttered everything was. How long had he been doing this?

Another whimper broke me off unnecessary irrelevant things. This time, I could not stop from crying when my baby sighed in relief, when lowered to the cold water.

It was not how it should be. She did not like cold baths. Her fevered body did not even wake up in water. She lied on my chest like a broken doll.

No, not broken.

I would not let her to break... I would kill anyone who dares to touch her again.

I cradled her close, slowly washing her body and the water was warming up fast because of her temperature.

??Stream, daddy.??

??Will it be too cold for you???

I did not reply and Robbie changed the settings and the water started flowing around us and soon steady stream of cold water flowed through my shoulder and gently caressed Lia??s back before flowing away.

She sighed again and her whimpers lowered and she fell asleep, again.

I sniffled at how much she had lost weight, toddlers like her should not lose weight. Her chubby arms were now thin as twigs, her stomach had crawled inwards, and her ribs were poking through.

??My baby.?? I sobbed harder and my chest shook with emotion but my sweet baby did not wake up.

I felt Robbie slowly rubbing my back. ??Nothing is wrong.??

I nodded.

Soon Lia??s teeth started chattering and I washed her before handing her back to Robbie before quickly washing myself.

I climbed back to her bed and pulled her to my chest, my hiccups not worrying her one bit.

??I will bring some soup Angel.??

I slowly dozed off, her tiny body warm and secure in my hands and she was going to stay that way as long as she needed it.

??Angel... Angel...??

??Hmm...??

??She has meds.?? I yawned tiredly and looked at my baby who was still sleeping. ??I brought some soup.??

Her hair was all over face, I had not wet them, afraid if the fever hiked. I asked Robbie to bring me a hairband and I stretched it on her head, not bothering about the knots.

??Doctor recommended cutting it off. It will help her to regulate the temperature.?? Robbie mumbled and I started crying again. ??Angel...??

Her beautiful curls. It was okay, it would grow back, like how my baby would laugh and giggle and run around after this stupid fever went down.

??She cried and fought me when I took her to the barber??s. Then I tried to use my trimmer at home, but she screamed for you and I could not...??

??I will sit with her, if she starts fussing shave mine first.?? I looked away from his troubled eyes.

Robbie handed me the soup, and I took a sip. It was bland, she would not eat it.

??That bad???

??You don??t know how to cook, daddy.??

??Brat.?? He affectionately called me and I smiled before crying again.

??I... I will make her some.??

I kissed her burning forehead. She took a cold bath, less than half an hour ago and she was burning up again. I sniffled and wet a cotton cloth and placed it on her forehead, before going down to the kitchen.

Everything was a mess and I could not care less.

I added some salt and pepper to the soup Robbie made before storing it away. I would have it later. I started dicing the veggies and put the chicken in the sink to defrost.

I knew I was trying very hard to stay strong but when I felt his touch on my shoulder I broke down completely. Thick noisy sobs left my throat as I leaned on his sleep deprived tired body.

??Shhh... just a fever, baby. Just a fever.??

It was not just a fever. We both knew it. My baby got scared, we failed to protect her. It was not the first time she got a fever but this is the first time... and the last time; I would die before it happens again.

??Accidently, pushed.??

I knew nobody would believe me, not even Robbie with his love-hate relationship with Janice, that she would purposely push her down but... I was feeling queasy... Was it because she never truly showed any affection to her daughter? Or, was it because she called my baby horrible names that day at the hospital?

I could not put my finger on it but...

My baby was too precious for me to play with what if??s. She was the wonder of my life, the light of my day, the dream of my being and everything in between. From the moment, I held her in my lap and felt her touch in my heart, to this moment clutching on Robbie??s shoulders and sobbing, I could tell anyone without a doubt that Lia owned my very soul.

??I need to make the soup, Robbie.??

I washed my face and got back to the cooking, adding all her favourite spices and ingredients being mindful that her tummy could not handle a lot.

I simmered the stove and waited for it to thicken, before sitting down to have the soup Robbie made.

??You don??t have to, Angel.??

I shrugged. ??I like your soup.??

??No, you don??t. You eat stuff I make, just not to hurt my feelings. Don??t worry, Angel, our kid has stomped on my ego real hard, you can??t do much damage.??

I chuckled before having another spoonful.

God, he looked so tired and stressed out. He looked very old, like he aged a decade. He looked famished too.

I frequently checked my soup so it would not thicken too much.

??It is done, Robbie, do you want a bowl now???

??Yes, please.??

I was about to pour him a big bowl when I heard a scream from my child??s room and my heart dropped along with the bowl. I ran to her, in panic... ??BABY...??

Never in my life had I heard her so afraid, not even nightmares made her cry like this.

She was kicking on the bed, her body taut and stretched and I tried to pick her up but she was not having it...

??DAVEYYYYY.... DAVEEEEEYYYYYYY....??

??Baby... Princess... I am here... Davey is here... Open your eyes... sweet heart... It is me, Davey...??

She fought me while screaming for me and I was panicking really bad.

??Daddy...?? She sobbed... ??Daddy... Davey... DAVEYYY?? She was not awake, she was still dreaming, her eyes rolling behind her eyelids and I was crying and begging her to open her eyes.

Robbie picked her up, not a bit bothered about her kicks on his stomach. He gently wrapped her tiny legs around his stomach and started patting her back; pacing.

??Oooohhh... ohhh... Baby Angel... oooh... Daddy got you, baby... daddy is here... and guess who came home, your Davey.?? He was so calm and collected and strong, and I could almost see it seeping to his daughter as her screams, slowly dwindling down. He peppered her head with strong and deep kisses.

She was still dreaming, not even properly hearing what Robbie was saying but his voice was giving her the rope to climb off the nightmare.

And I fell in love with him even more.

I noticed I was also pacing with them, as I hung to Robbie??s elbow, waiting for my baby to open her eyes and look at me and see me and love me and call me ??Davey??.

??Remember daddy telling you, if you be a good girl and have your soup, our Angel will come home???

He waited but she was breathing hard on his shoulders. ??Angel is home.??

??Davey???

??Yeah, baby, Davey is home.??

Then her crusted eyes slowly opened and I waited for her to jump to my hands but she did not.

She popped her thumb in her mouth and kept on staring at me; breaking my heart, mind and soul. I felt like an eternity had passed before she stretched her too skinny arms to me, and I plucked her from her daddy.

Her stares were similar to her daddy??s. So unnerving and challenging, it was like both of them could look into your soul and judge you. And I let her, to go through my whole existence, she had the right, she had my permission.

She started sniffling and chewing on her thumb.

??Little Baby, my sweetheart.?? Whatever dam she had in her mind, broken down and she started crying, calling me ??Davey?? and it was raining in my desert of a mind. I could feel her healing, her light slowly flickering back to brightness and the pain of love piercing my heart again. I cried with her, rocking her to calm myself down as much as to calm her.

??Davey...?? She hiccupped... ??Lilil Baby sickee...??

??Aww... is my Little baby sick???

She pouted and I kissed her dry lips, then

her runny nose on my shoulder. Robbie handed me a wet tissue. ??Blow, sweetie.?? And she did and I

??Go with daddy and...??

She wailed throwing her head back

to my body. ??Sweet Baby

down and Robbie made me sit on the bed. It took her sometime to calm down and she was hiccupping so bad and I got

on my side, patting her back. She was still sniffling though and my heart was breaking, but I

Little baby sleep

nawww...?? She nodded her for effect

??Aww... why not, sweetheart???

something to my chest and cried again and

at that, sweetie, daddy is bringing us something... what

made this just for you, Baby Angel.?? Robbie told her and handed

it smells so good.?? Lia peeked at the bowl and blinked up to me. ??Daddy, it is just for Little Baby... you can??t have it. It is for my sweet little baby...

She pointed to herself and I blinked back

yummy... I give my baby yummy soup.?? She was not hungry clearly but she had to eat. She was

at me and I knew what it meant. She needed medicines and she was going to fight him. He came back with an array of bottles and

I tipped her head back to my chest, with a firm hand under her chin and Robbie pushed the nasty syrups one by one inside

because my little daredevil would spit right out

to go for injections for a few times,

do this without Robbie, but I preferred not to, because she would glare at me and would stop talking to me for at least fifteen minutes,

What?

never claimed to

Pfft!

bum up when

after the last medicine for the time was done and turned her around, ??hiding??

my Baby Angel is sick, she

Did you hear that baby? Daddy is sad too... Let us make him drink

we chuckled. Robbie tipped the bottle of to his mouth without taking off the cap and showed how strong he was feeling by flexing his biceps

is too smart for our

to stop being angry at her daddy.

??Nooooo.??

??Aww... why not???

??Daddy... yucky yucky baby.??

my

??Uh huh huh.??

make

waited and I thought she would

You don??t want daddy to

She nodded.

I

daddy...?? She hugged herself

because daddy was hers; she could not make him drink anything

whole face

you to stop being sick, Baby Angel.

understood why daddy was making her drink yucky but she loved him enough to let her

me, cuddling close, when Robbie

at silly

me climb down the stairs with Princess on my hip. She felt

is going to spring back up

bowl of soup. ??Where is the one

??There. It has cracked.??

??Davey...??

when I kissed her forehead. ??Awww... did my baby fall sick? It is okay sweetheart. Davey is here... Baby and Davey is going to play together, dance together... read stories together and... we are going to make daddy sing us songs. Now, let us watch him eat,

bread and some butter too. He had not been

??Need some more???

his mouth and drank the

clutching to me

was an accident; Janice was asking her to move away but

??Where were you???

to home from office. Came just in time to see her crying on the floor. I rushed her to the hospital; had a bit of a shock but

it just Janice

she is going to be alright.?? He

leaving room for discussion. He

got here, take some rest. She has trouble sleeping at night.?? Robbie picked up his baby from my hands and lowered her to

rest for some time, I will

??Angel.??

daddy, you look like you will

me to his chest and I gasped at his strength. ??I fucking missed you like

brutal and I swooned

love. Do you have any idea

and he was searching my whole body for comfort. ??I am here,

??Thank God for that.??

put his head on my shoulder

missed him so

them, ever again. I was preparing myself to fight whatever

breath and started cleaning the kitchen. I had taken the trash out, when I heard my

what is wrong?

pulled her to my lap.

ah... ah... okay okay, we will talk about pretty flowers. Remember our baby pink rose? She has a new flower now... She is so happy... I told her that you were sleeping and

the plants and flowers but she was not having it. ??I love you so much, Lia. You know

??Davey lub baby???

baby.?? I frowned at her doubt. How could she ask me that! I kissed her wet cheeks. I carried to the wash basin, and gently washed

??Daddy???

I was surprised at her question.

popped her thumb in her mouth

Daddy and Davey love you. We love you like sun and moon love their star baby.?? It was her favourite bed time story

She started to cry again and hid her face in my

I promise. Daddy cannot stop

??No.??

She frowned, I did not think she would understand

confused and

??Hen.??

came from heaven for Daddy, so we

said he was going to get an Angel, the prettiest of pretty Angel out there and she was going to come down and make our daddy happy... Davey thought, it was nice, to see daddy happy.

was so keenly listening and I

Angel did not come... three days passed, Baby Angel did not come... and daddy waited and waited... every day telling Davey that this day Baby Angel would come but she did not...

tiny chin wobbled on hearing her

laughed at her ??why not???.

told Davey. ??Davey, you are an Angel... Go to heaven and look for my Baby Angel.?? And Davey said. ??Daddy, I cannot go. I will not find Daddy??s Baby Angel, because only daddy knows how Baby Angel looked like. She was Daddy??s

popped out of her sockets in wonder and she squirmed in

know what

??Nooo...??

precious Angel in the heaven! Huh!!!?? I faked a surprised gasp and

the heaven... to the place where

I am so bad

an an...?? She was jumping on my lap

daddy shouted. So Davey picked another one up... ??Is

her daddy did not get

I did not even have to ask Daddy if it was his Angel... Because she was so shiny and beautiful and... so glowing... It was Daddy??s Angel... Davey picked her up and ran back to the earth... because the Baby Angel was so pretty everyone loved her and

??Daddy baby Anje, Davey???

standing there, looking so handsome and strong and... my heart jumped at his eyes

get an Angel... but Daddy got two... And now Daddy, his Angel and Baby Angel lived happily ever after. That Baby Angel is you,

kissed his

you see, Lia. Daddy loves you the most. He waited for you every day and night until Davey could bring her home.?? Her tired and fevered body could barely hold the excitement of a story and she fell back asleep, making my heart hurt

her next

??We can go tomorrow.??

I nodded.

??That was beautiful story.??

??I made one up.??

you had not hack into

shrugged. ??We don??t know

had figured. ??They

??Robbie...??

butt. On

both literally and figuratively. His hand was

on you. It is not my fault.

Dav... juus...?? Lia mumbled in her sleep

far away from that sheepishly smiling pervert. ??I am going to take a nap with her. Oh, and fix the appointment

??The best there is...??

you change

??Will you be mad???

did

than her best friend. So don??t fight me on this, Angel. You are important to her and they needed to get that in their head. When they suggested waiting for the mother

a smile full of teeth, trying to take my

had been in love this

him that he was my demon and I yearned

going to take a

him out for the hospital scene. I waved back and took

evening and night making me cry again. I could not wake her up properly for dinner. But Robbie promised

her eyes fully when I made her eat her soup, she falling asleep every few minutes, and did not

my chest like a withering sunflower, and I

Angel, sleep with me... I... have to see both

from our baby girl. We never slept together, Robbie always slipped out of my bedroom after our intimate time together,

strength I could get, and who else could help me through this

our beds in this house were pushed to the walls according to my demand. Princess wore herself out when playing and I could not sit well with both of the sides open and dangerous for her fall

stairs

felt warm

her, gently rubbing her chest because her breaths were laboured. We had given her hot compress and nasal drops; but she still struggled

curled around me, his warm breath

she is...

is only sleeping. We will

leaned on him and let

difficult for me, Lia fighting us because she was tired and feverish and cranky but we had to. I was this close to crying my heart out but Robbie was here, he would

together; occasionally looking at our baby with

out. He was obsessed with it; he even got my recipe but told me that it did

clearly distressed with all

her on my lap like she wanted to; it was risky, she was too small and a sudden

hated hospitals, but this one was not that bad I guessed, there was greenery surrounding the

no go.?? She whined on the

girl. Daddy will cry; he has to see this man, okay? Aren??t you my

??An go hwom???

then we will go

did not have to wait for long as Robbie had perfectly arranged the appointment. But the wait was enough

of years older than

When I heard about Davey, I was expecting a two-feet tall little human with a

I blinked in confusion.