Too Beautiful for the Alpha

Chapter 17 Chapter 17

I immediately close the door behind me and turn to him with wide eyes. His scent is muffled and I can't tell if I am imagining him or not. "W-What are you doing here?"

James nears me and my heart begins to race. The sight of him makes me feel secure, a warm feeling spreading throughout my shaking body. The darkness of my bedroom shadows his face, making him a figure in the night, something my eyes could be playing tricks with. Once close enough, the moonlight from my window lightens up his face and my throat grows dry. He reaches out to me, takes my hand in his, showing me that he is indeed real. "I'm here to finalize things, Rae," he says, his voice less smooth than it has been in the past.

I struggle to speak, bringing me back to when I first met him. "You're going—you're going to reject me now?"

I can see his jaw clench. "Yes."

A shower of sadness rains down on me in one abrupt wave. My entire body is weighed down and my chest struggles to rise. My eyes can do nothing else but look up at him, hoping he sees that I am unwilling. My lip quivers like a lost child's. "Don't."

It's all I can't muster and he lets out a breath, his glaze tearing from mine. "Rae—"

"No," I murmur, quiet so no one downstairs hears me, but also quieted by my swelling throat. "Just don't. Not yet? I'm not ready yet." I'm not ready to let go.

"When? When will you be ready?" He asks, not really asking, though.

"I won't. I don't want you to reject me."

James looks down at me as if he's trying to figure me out, a puzzle he just can't put together. "When I told you that you had to go home, you agreed. You left without a problem."

"Because I didn't know if you wanted me there. I'm not going to stay somewhere I'm not wanted."

"I don't want you there," he says calmly.

With nothing to lose, I ask, "Why?"

He sighs and drifts further into my bedroom, not focused on anything around him. "Because I don't want to hurt you anymore. You need to be somewhere you can be happy."

"But I—"

"You cannot tell me that you were happy at my Pack, Rae. You weren't. You were miserable. You were doing anything to get out."

I don't know how to make him understand because I hardly understand it myself. Maybe it was that one hint of kindness that gave me hope. "Do you want me there?"

He stays quiet.

"So if I were to come back, you would hurt me again? Would nothing change? Is this what you want? To reject me? If this is what you want, I'm not going to try and change your mind. You can reject me right now then."

There is a pause before he says, "It doesn't matter want I want."

"But do you want me there?" I press. "Would you treat me the same?"

bleed into darkness. "You can't

change? What about my things? What about in the

"Enough."

wanted that night and you pushed me away, you sent me back here and I've been miserable. Stop acting like you don't want me one minute, then that you need to send me away for my own good the other. Just tell me what you want. And not what you feel like you need

mother suddenly calls from

I call back, "Yes, just-just give me a

I look back to James. He sits on the edge of my bed. "I just want

if you treat me how you want to treat me, not what you learned from your

and I realize what I had said. My eyes glance over to the diary on my desk and I hope

did you just

angry, but rather caught-off-guard. I drag my bottom lip through my teeth discreetly, fighting the need to bite down and pay

stands up from my bed. "Don't lie to me. Where did you hear about my Father?" He's bringing out the

me is annoyed by the plethora of times he's lied to me,

My mother calls again, slicing through the

and head to the door.

of my mother and her friend and Noah irks

just everywhere," I mutter

not coming back

course. It was nice meeting the both of you, hope we can really get into things

"Your towels are in the

rush up the steps and collect myself in a flash before gently opening the door. He is sitting on the bed again with something in his hands. My heart thumps hard when I realize it's the diary. He doesn't look up from the pages when

feel the door against my back.

"Where?"

or not,

by a bookshelf?" He finally looks up at me, only making my heart race even more. "You went into a blocked

to distract myself. You're

diary and tosses it beside him on my bed. "Your bedroom is different than my dead mother's diary, Rae. And if I remember clearly, you came into my bedroom unannounced first. Now how much do you

"About your mother?"

been reading her struggles for

that gave me a sense

a moment of silence as James looks to be off in thought. I stand at the door watching him, waiting for something. The sight of him on

you?" He says,

from the door, closer to him. "At the

"Why's that?"

with my words. "Your mother didn't

James sighs shortly. "No."

your father. He let her in and she just took it and tried to act like everything was normal. Then after the

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