Through the Screen

"what is it?" noah mutters, gathering all his energy—or lack there of—and focusing on his tongue, trying to make himself sound disinterested. his gaze is trained on his socks so abel can't see the panic in his eyes, his shaking hands are pushed in his pockets so abel can't see the saturated nervousness dripping from his fingertips, and his tongue is clamped between his teeth gently so abel can't hear how broken he sounds.

abel doesn't reply, softly shutting the door and leaning against it, fingers pulling at tangled hair. being with noah alone makes the bedroom seem smaller than ever before, the walls closing in mercilessly and the floor crumbling apart at the edges leaving no room to escape. he can't hide behind katherine's positive attitude or adrian's laughter, he can't mute noah's voice with the loud television, he can't block out the sight of noah when he is standing in front of him and expecting answers.

"well?" noah pushes. he is no hurry to know what abel wants to say, but postponing the storm won't make it any less harsh. it will still strike, violent, aggressive and unabashed, leaving nothing but staggered breaths and choked sobs in its wake.

"i'm sorry," abel blurts, licking over his dry lips so saying what he feels becomes a bit easier.

"abel we've been over this—"

"no, no, please just hear me out for once," abel closes his eyes, pulling his sleeves over his fists and letting the explanation flow out of his mouth. "i'm sorry, i'm sorry for what i did and i know you can't forgive me but i am not accepting a divorce, i can't live without you, i can't be without you and you know that,"

"abel—"

will not stop you, i will not even try to contact you or try to apologise again, you don't even have to see my face unless you're ready but please don't take away the chance for us to make things better. please don't take a divorce from me, i can't do it, it's—" it's no

able to handle, please," abel wipes his eyes harshly with the back of his sleeve. "i'll leave, i'll leave right now but you have to promise me that you will try forgiving

"what are you—"

that's not true, i love you so much, you know i do but my mistakes shouldn't be something that ruins this, ruins us forever," and every word that leaves abel 's lips adds another layer of figurative cement overtop of

him, the lies about them working this out in the span of a week, the lies of unconditional love being restored in a blink, the lies of healing hearts and dried cheeks and laughter and kisses. what

he has caged his tongue into place as to not beg noah to forgive him because

of the bed, pushing his head into his hands and blocking out the sudden reality he wasn't ready to face. what the hell was he supposed to say? everything abel has said is true, yes they need time to recover from this, yes he needs to leave, yes he is hurting noah by staying in the same house but them separating is not what noah wants. he has already established that he would gladly take the heartbreak over and over again if it means for abel to stay right here, to stay with him, and he will completely ruin his sanity with denial if it means for them to pretend like nothing is wrong, if it means that he can hold and

abel mumbles, watching as noah sits completely motionless, watching as his pale fingers disappear in his disheveled dark hair

then the tears arrive again, making the closure of the two lovers a lot more grim as noah covers his face in order to stop them from falling. they weave their way into his palms, soaking the surface, the choked sobs that leave his lips are muffled but break through the uncomfortable silence all the same and abel fails to comprehend his reaction. he was hoping for noah to be at least a bit more accepting if not happy

letting out a small gasp of surprise when noah pushes his body onto his, noah's arms wrapping tightly around his neck causing abel to stumble from the weight, both of