Through the Screen

"you're here! i will come downstairs to get your bags!" adrian's voice is shrill with happiness as he quickly shoves a woollen hat on top of his head, loose ringlets escaping the fabric and resting on his forehead, and his feet encased in a pair of worn out house slippers. he gives abel a comforting smile, and informs noah about the arrival of his grandmother before leaving the house, a strange silence enveloping the entirety of the apartment at the departure of the small boy.

it wasn't that the apartment was buzzing with laughter and conversation earlier—it's just that with adrian in the house, it seemed as if there was a thin layer of comfort between the two lovers, without him, the silence begged confrontation yet again. noah unwrapped the blanket from around his torso, stretching his arms above his head and wiping his palms across his face to bring some colour to the haunting paleness of his skin, before he got up and stepped out of the living room, making his way to the kitchen.

and then without warning all movement ceased, lips pursing and eyes widening as noah stopped in his tracks, his heart that had been trying and failing to mend itself was pulled apart further at the sight of abel. purple lining the once glimmering brown of his eyes, golden skin sprinkled with blotches of tears, and his shaking hands visible even from afar.

abel 's mouth opened and closed in a silent apology, as if he was apologising for the simple fact that noah had to see him, and the brim of his eyes flooded with tears for the second time in the past hour when noah refused to spare him as much as a look and disappeared into the kitchen.

yet again, different locations, similar reasons—both lacking comfort and both

and chest hurting constantly at the reminder of the chain of events that on had occurred only a few hours ago. his mind is aching with conflict—he wants to both cut off all possible ties with abel and end this deranged relationship that was never

this pain, his heart will be ready to accept abel back into his life, to forgive him, to understand him, to love

care about himself, about how he physically can't handle abel 's presence after what he has done, about how uncomfortable he feels with abel 's confession that he willingly let someone else touch him the same emotional way noah used to touch him, about how he knows that

knows that even after all this, his heart will continue to belong to abel—even if it ceases to beat and breaks apart times and times again—it will still, always belong

everything in its wake—strings of his heart threatening to snap, thoughts in his mind threatening to scatter amidst the minefield of his body.