The Player

Brielle

3:23 PM

Today could not have gone by any slower.

After Christopher and I's conversation, I wanted nothing more than to climb under a rock and forget that the past few days ever existed. But instead, I picked myself up by my bootstraps and persevered because things were going to get better, right?

Wrong.

The entire day I could feel everyone's eyes on me, and Melanie did nothing but add fuel to the fire. She made sure to inform everyone who was unaware of what happened not only between Derrick and I, but between me and Christopher as well. Before the end of the day, multiple rumors that I had leaked the photos myself to capture Christopher's attention surfaced.

I wanted to be angry at Melanie so badly, but I couldn't. I couldn't feel anything at all. From everything that I had been through, I had just gone completely numb.

Somehow, the feeling was comforting. The stares aimed at me might has well have not existed. My mind was blank and so were my emotions. Some may say that it is an unhealthy way to cope, but I would take this over the constant ache of my heart breaking any day.

Throughout the day I felt Sam get more and more worried for me, but I couldn't do anything to reassure her that I was okay, because, I wasn't. I don't think that I will ever be okay, and that thought alone frightened me to no end. I felt like a broken glass doll, shattered into a million pieces. No matter how hard I tried, I was irreparably damaged.

When I got home, I went straight to my room, and I haven't left since. I couldn't face anyone right now, especially not Scott. At first, I was holding out hope that he didn't find out about the pictures, but after today, the chances were slim to none.

Not only was I too mad to see him after knowing that he knew that Christopher was using me and didn't tell me, but I was ashamed. Ashamed that somehow his innocent vision that he had of me was broken. I was afraid of how disgusted he would be about me. A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts.

"Go away," I groaned, pressing my head into my pillow. The door opened anyway despite my request. Scott crept into my room slowly, as if he was walking on eggshells. He might as well have been.

"Are you okay Brielle?" he asked, sitting down beside me. I sat up from my current fetal position, meeting him face to face. "Please Scott, just go away."

Once again, he ignored me. "Look, I know that you're still mad at me, but I heard about what happened."

I closed my eyes, rubbing at my temples. He knew. "I'm fine Scott. Now please, leave." I clipped.

He scoffed. "BS. I know you. Now tell me how you truly feel or else I'm not leaving this room." He leaned back on his arms, getting comfortable. "I can wait all day."

I contemplated yelling at him to leave, but deep down I realized that I would like to talk to him. I cared about what he thought of me, and what hurt the most out of the entire situation is my fear of what he would think of me. I also needed to know why he hid the information about Christopher from me if I was ever going to move on.

After a huge sigh, I finally opened up. "I feel a little weird,"' I guessed. "Like I'm constantly exposed in a way."

He nodded his head, seeming to understand what I meant. "I get that, I would feel that way too."

It felt good to know that he understood how I felt. "I just feel really ashamed and embarrassed that I took those pictures." I paused, contemplating on if I should include the next part. After a moment's hesitation, I added it in.

"I felt a little nervous too."

His eyebrows scrunched up. "Why?"

shyly. "I've always been the innocent little sister to you,

school seeing and treating me different, but I couldn't

me into a hug. "You know that I will always see

smiled, wiping a stray tear from

out his pinkie finger. "Promise." I wrapped my finger around

was going

been blackmailing me

almost two years!" he

all under control, but obviously I was wrong." He placed his head in his lap while

you tell

that if I said something

head. "I have a

"You sure do."

few moments of silence, I finally posed the question that had been bugging me to

tell me about Christopher?" I

to answer my question or run and hide.

you," he

"What do you mean?"

did to

"Awful." I finished.

a soft laugh. "Exactly. If not, worse. I was ashamed of what I did. You always saw me as the

reason why you would find out about what I did to Nicole. So, I kept my mouth shut. After seeing how happy you were with him, I convinced myself that I was doing you a favor by not telling

were doing me a favor by allowing him to use me?"

was easier to believe that

how he felt. When everyone sees you a certain way, sometimes it's comforting to know that those

and didn't deserve to get sucked in the middle of their feud. I was more concerned

need to believe me when I say that I had no idea that her parents died. I admit that I broke up with her to get back at Christopher, but if I knew

fifty feet of her and she blocked my number. After a while without any

you need to tell her this, because the last time I talked to her she was under the

that's why I talked to her yesterday." My eyes grew wide, unable to hide my

"You did what?"

house when I was coming back from practice.

did you say?" I said, my interest suddenly

I had no clue about her parents, and that it still was

"And..."

we talked. For a long time. She told me how she felt when I did it and," he rubbed his eyes, obviously distraught. "I really screwed up,

clue how much I hurt her. I feel like a monster for all the hurt

was wrong, and