The Ember In The Dark novel Chapter 15

The sun was setting before I knew it. The sky was a bright crimson as the sun kissed the horizon. Talia was excited and ready for a run, but I was feeling kind of nervous. I've always heard that the first time hurts like a bitch.

'Only for a moment, Ember. After that you won't feel pain.' Talia tried to soothe my nerves, but it was too daunting a task even for her.

When I get anxious only Ash can seem to calm me down. I am thinking it's a twin thing, but who really knows.

"You ready?" Ash's large steps echoed behind me.

"Not really." I answered honestly.

"Hey," he turned me around to look at him. "It's going to be fine. Just listen to your wolf and let her take over. I know that's hard for you, wanting control all the time, but you need to let go."

I sighed. He was right, letting go is the hardest thing for me to do after the many times I have been hurt.

"It's harder than you make it sound." I grimaced.

"It really isn't Ember. Besides, I'll be by your side. Me, Mom and Charles. You're not alone tonight." He smiled at me and I just nodded my head.

Taking a few deep breaths to keep me from panicking, I took a step outside. Ash and I met up with Charles and mom at the tree line. We caught them being romantic. Charles had mom's face cupped in his hand and his other hand on her stomach, carrying his pup. He was kissing her so tenderly.

I've always felt bad for dad when I would see mom with her other mates, but I knew it didn't bother him. It's normal to them all now. I just can't wrap my head around it.

"You ready my little fire starter?" Mom asked me, her cheeks still pink with embarrassment. Mom has never been able to hide her blush no matter how hard she tried.

"I think so." I took another deep breath and Ash squeezed my shoulder soothingly.

"I'll shift first with your mom and then Ash and you will follow. I am hoping since you guys and your wolves are twins then it will help." Charles told me. He was being more alpha than a second dad right now. It's important to be safe. He wanted to shift first so he could command my wolf if he needed to.

"Okay." I told them, clutching my shirt at my stomach.

Charles shifted, his dark wolf a stark contrast to mom's pure white one. Gunner was a very large wolf. He was very obviously an alpha. He nodded his head toward us letting me know it was time. Ash grabbed my hand and nodded his head at me.

"You got this." He told me before letting my hand go.

My nerves were going crazy in me. My breathing and my heart rate were elevated with anxiety. I swallowed hard, as if I could swallow down my emotions.

'Just relax and don't fight me, Ember.' Talia instructed me.

I felt myself being pushed back in my mind as my bones started popping. They weren't kidding, feeling every bone in your body pop and then realign itself was an excruciating experience. I didn't scream though.

I am not sure how I didn't realize it without Talia telling me, but Ash's wolf was almost identical to her except the white patch and mismatched eyes. Ash's wolf was light gray with white spots and he had a black patch over his right eye. His eyes were a shiny silver, only shining brighter with the full moon.

I felt Talia taking control, but I was still there…present. Is this how she feels everyday? It's an odd feeling.

Charles started running followed by mom. She was so graceful in wolf form. I guess I should say Heli was so graceful…beautiful. Talia was happy to be out running with her twin. She nipped at Levi's heels playfully. They yipped at one another and played as they ran behind Charles and mom.

I could feel Talia's happiness and it became my own. I loved the feel of the wind in our fur. The way our paws sunk into the earth as we pushed off to run. Running as a wolf was the most exhilarating thing I've ever done.

When we got to the pack lands Talia was worn out. She and I need to build our stamina. She's been trapped so long.

'Shift back' Charles voice commanded.

I was pushed forward quickly, my bones snapping back into place. It hurt again, but a lot less than before. I stood there fully naked and I felt so embarrassed even though I knew I didn't need to be. Everyone else was so comfortable being naked, but I hid behind my hands. I'm not used to this. Ash threw me a hoodie and some gym shorts that I quickly changed into.

"We'll let everyone meet your wolf tomorrow. I don't want them to meet her when she's tired." Charles explained.

"Can't have her looking weak." I added. I have to emit a lot of power in order to be respected here.

"Clever girl. Let's head in. I've had your rooms cleaned up. I think you should start coming here on the weekends instead of me going there. The pack needs to see you more." Charles added. I thought of Toni almost instantly. I'll run into him more like this.

"Yeah okay." I answered him.

"You too Ash." Charles brought his dark eyes to Ash's sky blue ones.

"I go anywhere Ember goes." Ash smiled.

The great protector Ash. What will I do when he finds his mate and leaves me behind?

"I'll be here tonight, but I'll have to head back tomorrow morning." Mom told us as she dressed.

We all headed to the pack house from the tree line. We walked past the beta family houses on the way.

Normally a beta stays at the pack house with the alpha, but once they find their mate and have a family they can live in their own house. It's usually really close to the pack house. Everyone else's houses are further away on the curving streets. It was like a small town with the pack house being the most important.

I could smell him before my eyes spotted him. His dark hair pulled back, showing that delectable face of his. His brown eyes found me in the moonlight. I pulled my hood up not wanting him to see me like this. I didn't look cute. I looked like I dressed in Ash's clothes.

"Alpha." He bowed his head at Charles. "Luna." He did the same for mom. Toni was showing his respect and Charles was pleased.

Toni's eyes then landed on Ash and I. He looked a little confused, but he didn't say anything. He took in my clothes and scrunched his eyebrows together. I could see the gears in his turning in thought.

"We went for a run." Ash patted Toni on the back. "Full moon runs are the best." He chuckled.

'Ash you idiot. I haven't told him I got my wolf.' I linked him.

'How was I supposed to know? He should already know, Ember.' He sounded slightly disappointed in me.

Toni looked at me a bit confused trying to process what Ash said. I could tell he was trying to make sense of it all. I pulled at the strings of the hoodie trying to hide away more. I groaned internally.

"Char! I'm gonna hang back for a bit. Soak in the moonlight and whatnot." I told Charles. I need to talk to Toni.

"Don't take too long. You'll get hungry soon." He warned.

"Yes sir." I mocked and he growled a little in warning. We're on his turf now. I gotta be careful not to be disrespectful.

"Need me to hang back too?" Ash asked me and I shook my head.

"No, it's okay."

"Call me if you need me." He told me, catching up to mom and Charles.

"We need to talk." I told Toni as I walked passed him, back towards the tree line.

He followed closely behind. I was fully aware of every step and breath he took. The mate bond was pulling me hard towards him, especially with the full moon.

"What's up?" He asked me when I finally turned around.

"I got my wolf." I blurted quickly.

"That's amazing, Ember!" He smiled real big at me. "How'd it happen?"

"It happened because of you. When we touched that first day and you told me you were my mate, she surfaced then." I didn't want to explain the whole barrier thing to him so I left that out.

"You've had your wolf for the past few days?" He asked, an upset tone taking over his voice.

"Yeah." I looked away, feeling kind of guilty for not telling him sooner.

"Ember." He spoke my name so tenderly. "Does this mean you know I told you the truth when I said I was your mate?"

"Yes. She told me you are my mate." I sighed.

"But you're still having me work for it." It wasn't a question, but rather a frustrated statement. He was trying to hold it back I could tell.

"I don't know. I've been hurt before Toni. I know that's not on you, but it's my baggage. I am damaged." I looked at the moon as I spoke to him. It was so bright tonight.

"I wouldn't hurt you, Ember. Never. I'm your mate. I'm meant to protect you and comfort you. Not hurt you. Never hurt you." He spoke so tenderly to me. His words were almost pleading.

His fingertips lightly grazed against my cheek, causing my body to react to his touch. Those familiar fireworks burst through my skin. He turned my face toward his, my eyes locking with his for the first time. I felt myself melt away into him. His hand was now cupping my face. His thumb rubbed against my bottom lip.

My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest with all the emotions he was stirring inside of me. I felt a need for him so deep it shook me.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked me, his minty breath fanning over my lips.

I felt myself inhale his scent involuntarily. Can he kiss me? The question hung in the air for a minute. He began to pull away when I didn't answer, a deep sigh leaving him. I couldn't let this moment pass.

I grabbed his face with my hands and pulled him back to me. His face was just a few centimeters away now.

"Yes." I whispered to him.

His lips crashed onto mine like a meteoroid hitting the earth… fast and hot. His thumb rubbed my cheek tenderly as his lips continued their attack on mine. I was getting lost in my desire for him. Almost engulfing my sense of self. I had to pull away, even though it killed me inside to do so. This is all I can give him for now.

He rested his forehead against mine, his eyes still closed. He sported the biggest smile, only making my heart flutter harder. His thumb gently caressed my jawline now, sending goosebumps down my body.

"Wow." He whispered, rubbing his forehead against my own. "Thank you, Ember."

I couldn't speak, it's like that kiss didn't just steal my breath. That kiss stole my heart, my voice, my whole self.

"I need to go." I pulled away running toward the pack house.

Why do I do this? I keep pulling away from him.

I can't get hurt again. Those words are etched deep into my heart.

I can't get hurt again.