My brain swivels forward, drunkenness opening doors and letting my mind lose control. My mother with her various men and I recall their faces swimming past me in a rush, like a subway train until it stops on one looming grin that causes me shiver internally. That looming face which sometimes wakes me in the night with terrifying dreams. The ever-present face of my nightmares and terrors.
“Why?” he asks, bringing me back to the present and I focus on Jake, pulling myself out of my head. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed twirling a strand of my loose hair between his fingers. It makes my scalp tingle and draws my full attention to his strong form, so close to me, smelling so very good and uniquely him.
“She thinks about things I don’t want to think about.” I sigh quietly. Sadness overcoming me with the wave of fatigue.
“Like fathers who weren’t around?” he seems softer, warmer. Jake always asks me things about my past, I wish he didn’t but tonight it doesn’t feel so bad. So scary. I want him to stay and talk to me, not go to his room with that awful “Crone”. I want him here with me.
“And people called Ray.” I let out a long heavy breath at the mention of his name, the looming devil is still watching me inside my own head. Evading my closing doors, his lip curling back to reveal his snarl. The bile rises in my throat as the fear travels up my legs and I shiver.
“Ray?” The confused husky voice distracts me.
“Ray, who beats up girls and tries to molest them.” I whisper, afraid of saying it out loud in case the monster hears me.
Why did I start thinking of Ray? Stupid, Emma, very stupid!
I don’t like brandy anymore; it breaks down the walls of my carefully built black box and lets things that I locked up tight run loose.
A warm touch on my arm pushes it back to the distance; it’s soft and delicate and sends a soothing sensation through the fear, bringing me back to here and now. It helps Ray’s face move back into the shadows, where he belongs.
“Emma, why did you never tell me any of this?” Jake’s voice is pained. I don’t recognize his tone; concerned and breathy but I’m experiencing the tug of drunken sleep falling over me despite everything running through my head. His touch too calming, and it’s making me fall into peaceful darkness. My eyes get heavier and the bed sways like a cradle, pulling me away from his voice. I can’t fight it.
“Don’t tell Emma I told you … She will be really mad.” I whisper, urging my Jake to keep our secret.
Naughty teen, Emma? How did you get out?
I try and haul her back down into the shadows with me as darkness overtakes us both but all too soon, I am lost.
***
waters crazily. My cell is by the bed, and I realize it’s been switched off; I never switch it off, I don’t even know what time it is and I
water will have to do. I know I should remember last night but after my third drink on the couch I don’t remember much else. I
I’m a total lightweight.
one-point Jake came
Maybe.
over me with his tie hanging free; I’m not even sure if it
place is silent, and I guess Jake is still in bed. I remember Felicity is here, I forgot about her; I always try and ignore his female guests. At least I slept through her screaming for once which is the
sip water to keep the gag
the hell was I thinking? Why did I let it get to me that much? Why did I let that idiot get under my
shock. It’s been twelve years since his last contact and although I knew he would resurface one
don’t have any
weekends he never sleeps past six,
a towel draped around his neck. He is bright
shorty,” he smiles
“Morning,” I mumble.
“How’s the head?”
and wince
bathroom.” He flashes me a happy smile as he
a packet
walks across toward the kitchenette intent on whatever he is doing. Always at home in
“Yup …”
from a hangover. Can you order me some breakfast, I’m going for a shower?” He’s at the fridge drinking a bottle of water, before throwing me a Jake special “I’ll floor you with my sexy” smile and raised eyebrow in way of thanks
Crane is as I watch his rather too pert ass sauntering away and guess she’s still asleep. Jake must have exhausted her last night, and it instantly pisses me off. Killing any