I’m standing staring at myself in the mirror, nerves eating away at me and fidgeting with my dress a little obsessively. It’s long, fitted, ivory, and very classy. A sleek, full-length, fishtailed number that looks great on my body, with my toned-down neutral face and minimal jewellery. Stomach in knots and anally checking my appearance like my life depends on it. Despite knowing, I look flawless.
Déjà vu from the morning I met his mother and yet this is way worse. I’m terrified.
“You look gorgeous, stop fretting.” Alexi’s voice comes from behind me and he sways to the side of me as he approaches. I stop him mid-step and lean my body against him gently. Backing myself against him. This is something I have been working on for a while now. Letting Alexi get behind me, touch me when standing there and leaning against him. He doesn’t object, just stands still recognising my attempt and lets me fall back against him gently.
It’s stupid and weird, I guess, that it’s such a hard thing to overcome, but he’s been so gentle and understanding and never makes me uncomfortable. He strokes a finger down my exposed spine in my backless dress and kisses me on the back of the head, making sure not to wrap me up so I feel trapped even though I know it’s dumb. He understands though and with the therapy sessions he talked me into, I’m doing better on so many levels when dealing with my past. We share a shrink, as odd as that sounds.
The inner anxiety and fear are getting less every time I let him stand behind me but I can still only handle this for seconds at a time and pull away as soon as that choking feeling rises in my throat, threatening to bring on a full panic attack. It’s still a trigger, but one I will overcome for him one day, so he can stop watching how he approaches me in our daily life. I want to stand in his arms and curl up like normal people do.
“Why are you in here, anyway? What happened to not seeing me until I’m walking down the aisle?” I turn to him, chastising him teasingly without meaning it and smooth down his tuxedo lapel automatically, straightening his bow tie to admire the handsomeness that is my husband. About to be husband all over again in our little ceremony to solidify our four-month-long marriage.
“We’re already married, London. I also don’t believe in bad luck. Besides, I need you to sign this so we can get the ball rolling before we head off on our honeymoon.” Alexi lifts the file he has in one hand and slides it onto the vanity beside me. The Carrero logo emblazoned on the cover and I squeal in excitement. Knowing exactly what this is as I’ve been on tenterhooks for days waiting on his lawyers to draw it up.
“Is that what I think it is?” I literally bounce as that fretting, nervous energy explodes into sheer happiness. Overcome with excitement that pushes all else away.
“Open it and see.” He throws me that devilishly handsome smile, with full dimples and sparkling eyes that make me want to bone him so badly.
Sexy bugger.
He moves back and holds out a pen to me. A smile of utter bliss on that perfect face and I take it merrily. He moves aside to let me in and slides his hand on my arse as I bend over to scope out the paperwork.
Flicking open the file, I swear I dissolve into a pot of bubbly, warm contentment. It’s the final contracts for my new business just like I hoped, and I can’t contain the ecstatic squeal that bursts forth a second time. Alexi standing proudly watching me with utter amusement at my reaction.
Weeks of Alexi negotiating a price and taking over New York’s finest finishing school for ladies of the rich persuasion. A place I will excel at moulding women who come into money and grandeur into classy ladies ready for social events and appearances.
The school is already thriving and well known among socialites and city celebrities, but the owner wanted to retire and leave her ship at the helm of a worthy captain. Alexi knew her well and convinced her over a very elegant dinner that I was that woman.
I AM that woman.
I had the ability to take a common street rat and turn her into a polished New York socialite with all the skills required to hold her own among the rich and powerful. It’s what I was born to do. I’m an example of my own skills.
Alexi banned me from working in the club, just as I knew he would, even though I still own it; Rebel does a great job of keeping me informed. I sign papers, make the big decisions but that little earner is ticking along nicely under the girl I have trusted to stand in for me. Making me a mint. I wanted something respectable and worthwhile I could do on my own. Build it up, not be afraid to tell people what I do when my husband introduces me at dinner parties. I wanted something of my own I could be proud of. Something to fill my days instead of living a life of leisure. I wasn’t built for boredom.
I also didn’t want Alexi to pay for it. So, I used the club as collateral and made him loan me the money with a repayment plan in place so the school would truly be mine. I expected opposition from him and his control freak ways, but he agreed to everything. Maybe because I set up a proposal to take to the bank if he said no and that would have really pissed him off.
In fact, he seems proud that I wanted to do this myself and not rely on him. I have ambition and drive, and he guessed that stopping me would be the sure-fire way to make me miserable.
do
newfound confidence in my abilities and I know that I can do whatever I set my mind to. I mean, I bagged myself Kingpin over there when I truly was the
with him is never boring. He’s still a badass control freak who needs gentle handling and often drives me insane. But sometimes, I’m a spitfire psycho who throws things at his head. We’re dysfunctional and volatile at times, but we work. I’m happy, he makes me happy and now with this, I will have that identity and independence I was terrified of losing. I will have my own focus and worth in this world he lives in. I won’t just be the wife of Alexi Carrero. I’m
catching up with me. If anyone from my past surfaces, Alexi deals with it. In the way he knows best. I almost look forward
let him carry on being a twunt to me at every occasion we rolled
you expect to keep
that no
thriving. With a family of Carreros who love her, a husband who adores her, and the future looking brighter every day. She can only go up and will never know the pain of solitude
he tells me everything. We have no secrets and he knows where my boundaries lie in terms of what I’ll
end was the last time he exposed me to the grittier side of his world, and he does his best to keep my life stable, calm and safe. This I can
attention, and he will take me with him whenever he can. I couldn’t have asked for
details, having previously read through rough drafts with my own lawyer, and finally, get to the last page. Signing Camilla Carrero boldly on the last dotted line with a flourish and a massive happy smile. Almost jumping up and down, such is the internal happy, bouncy ecstasy shooting
ever felt. It’s all falling into place and things are really starting
come back from our trip to Sicily, you should have the keys to your school and life can move forward.” Alexi leans in and kisses me softly, stroking back my hair into my elegant updo and admiring me for a moment.
excited I could burst.” I giggle and pull another cutesy smile from him. Melting inside with a giddiness that makes me feel like a child. Bursting with a happy buzzing energy that could rival his. Clinging onto him as I do my little happy dance that pulls a laugh
hand inside his jacket and pulls out a little black leather box, holding it out to me and I take it with a flourish. Smiling widely at a gift which I know will be thoughtful, they always are. I’m always blown away by his surprise presents. I have loved everything he has ever bought me, and I click
diamond encrusted crown charm sitting in the velvet-lined box, sparkling back at me. So delicate and beautiful and I finger it carefully as I inhale with surprise. Instantly calmed from over-enthusiastic to a sudden emotional stillness. Touched deeply by this expensive
I would give you one of your own.” He utters softly, watching me, a look on his face that matches mine. Adoration, contentment, happiness. He too, these past months, has mellowed in so many ways and
show off its existing duo of charms. The little heart is the same size and style
out for me before sliding it back on my wrist and fastening it securely. Swiftly, with an expert touch seeing as he has to take it off for me when I shower every day. I turn my
lips with a grin so wide my face hurts with it. I feel like it’s all I have done for weeks. Smile
ready.” Mico’s voice trails in the open door and pulls our attention to him, butting into our moment, standing there
stomach turns over and churns with the reminder of what we are doing. That sign we are
second.” Alexi dismisses one of his best men and turns to me softly. Fixing me with a tender look and
way.” A smile, a forehead to forehead gentle nudge and he takes my arm and slides it into his carefully, treating me with kid gloves like he
garden, in this warm month with everything in the greenhouse blooming and looking beautiful. A small private affair. Although the live feed video set up so certain family members can watch is a compromise on his part. Alexi wanted more than our immediate loved ones here, and I didn’t want anyone except our two witnesses if I’m
and I don’t think I will ever really settle into a huge family gathering
covered aisle, all tended to so lovingly by Mr Capone. I love our Capones so much; they feel like the parents I never had, and thanks to them, I’m slowly learning Italian under careful guidance. They just add to
talk him into it being so uber romantic, with a venue all candle lit and pretty, but one thing I have learned is a sure-fire
make me happy and he will move mountains
coerce to my will
by the door. He’s looking very smart and groomed and wearing a little bow tie for the occasion in the matching dark blue that the bridal party is wearing. Those freakily similar eyes are sparkling with glee because he loves nothing more
her to do if she doesn’t want to do it. Sitting pretty for