My whole persona is a lie that ingrained itself inside of me through repetitive use. I created this girl and buried Lisa—she and my battered emotions are a thing of the past.
‘’Do you need anything? I can make you a drink or food.’’ The girl is watching me far too closely, even though I still feel weak and clammy, I don’t want her here and fussing. I have never been good at letting people take care of me and especially not someone who isn’t medical staff. No one cared before, so this is a new experience and I feel completely uncomfortable with her probing presence.
‘’I need space and privacy. I want to get up, shower and make some tea. I appreciate what you all did but really, I just want quiet time to vegetate.’’ I sound completely ungrateful and I know it. Mico didn’t need to tend to me. Alexi … I don’t even know where to begin. I just know as soon as I am well he will dump me on a flight to Chicago and be done with me, that is what he planned. I want to get better on my own, and mentally get used to the idea that I am being shipped off to a place I do not want to go back to.
‘‘I understand that.’’ She looks disappointed, weirdly. Mico has left an arsenal of meds by my bed. I vaguely remember him putting them there and whatever Doctor Wilson injected me with has pushed this sickness out the window, so I am good to go and on the mend. I no longer need a nursemaid and I do not want one.
‘’Do you know what the doctor gave me?’’ I query, almost sure Mico wouldn’t let some unqualified quack at me, even if Alexi would. It’s not like I haven’t put a lot of toxic shit in my body in the past, but I am always wary knowing my mother was an addict and I probably have an addictive personality too. I just like to keep track of these things.
‘‘Antibiotics mostly. A high dose to kick whatever it was out of your system and some meds to bring your fever down. He couldn’t give you anything orally, so he went for injection and Alexi said to go for it. Is he your guardian?’’
Again, with the naïve blinking, questioning all his motives and decisions like she doesn’t know what a huge control freak he is and I just shrug.
guess.’’ Seeing as he owns my soul.
close. I think it’s cute to finally see him care about a girl. He always dates women he doesn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about.’’
around me and that just stirs up my bitch side. I heave a heavy sigh to give her the final hint. ‘‘I think I will take a bath, a long soak in the tub. Feel free to leave, I’m a capable swimmer and I’m feeling much better, so I doubt I will pass out and drown.’’ I make to move and ignore that look of complete rejection on her face. Confused why
that order and a plan about what I am going
bath and DIY beauty treatments for the last hour. Figuring if I pampered the crap out of myself I would both feel better physically, look a hell of a lot
still fatigued as I wander aimlessly into the almost silent surroundings and realise I am still not alone. She never left and she is stretched out on the couch watching
eyes connect when she goes to catch it. Spotting me and acting like she is not imposing on my space at all in any way. I roll my eyes, leaving her to her call and turn to the fridge in a bid to find food that requires no cooking. I am not really in the mood for stove tops and fussing. I just want to eat and go
hours. The best way to move on is to put HIM out of my
if I have anything to do with it. I cast a sharp glance and yank the refrigerator open to scan the contents, finding cured ham, cheese and salad for a sandwich and start putting
I nudge her back with my bum and dump my new finds on the surface beside the bread. I shove the phone under my chin, bumping the door shut with my hip and rummage for a knife in the drawer to add to my array of sandwich constructing ingredients with