The Alpha

My chest felt like twenty-pound weights were laying there. My head was pounding from the constant crying and my eyes were burning. I felt the desire, the need to find my release, but I had no tools and my nails weren’t very dangerous.

'Clock.'

'Break the clock and cut.'

( ‘Violet, no.’ )

'Break.'

'The.'

'Clock.'

'Cut.'

My mark burned when I rolled over and grabbed the clock, throwing it on the ground. It thudded and made a cracking sound so I reached and threw it down again. Agonizing seconds passed by while I waited for the clock to smash.

Once it did, I pulled up off the bed, not able to be seen from the door, crouching down to find the sharpest piece before slumping down.

( ‘Violet, don’t do this. Stop. Derek told you-’ )

'Ugh, shut the fuck up!'

'Let’s go!'

'Cut!'

I blocked out Sage, let out a shaky break, undid the previous bandages, and began to slide it across my wrist. My mark pricked in pain and I sped up the cutting, altering between my wrists.

I’ll be perfect.

Like the girls he wants.

'You’re the definition of imperfect.'

'He wants blondes, not you.'

I heard footsteps banging down the hallway, a sob escaped my lips as I knew what was about to happen, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wasn’t in my headspace, I couldn’t control this.

Blood coated my forearms, dripping on the sweater and jeans. The sound of the door flying open didn’t break my concentration.

I dug the makeshift dagger in my skin, but I could feel it getting dull.

“Violet!” a voice yelled.

I continued to cut.

Brown shoes stood in front of my black ones. My hands were pried from each other with a hard grip. My head spun as I felt him grab under my arms and hauled me into the bathroom.

“N-no,” I whispered weakly and he shushed me.

My head started to get fuzzy as he set me on the sink counter, running water, grabbing a towel, and applied pressure to my wrists to fix them. My wrists were numb and sizzling.

He stood between my legs and I whimpered as my headache increased. I put my head in Derek’s shoulder, my tears wetting his shirt. He opened the cabinet with his foot, pulling it up to the counter, barely moving me.

He pulled out his phone and barked some orders then he set me against the bare wall where the mirror would’ve been, and stepped out of the room. My eyesight was blurry and my wrists lazily laid at my sides, the towels sitting over them.

He came back in with a short-sleeved nightshirt and some pants.

“Do you sleep with a bra?” he asked in his crisp tone. I shook my head ‘no’ and he pulled me to him. “Violet, listen. I’m not going to look, but I’m taking off your bra and I’m gonna dress you in this shirt,” he spoke steadily, making sure I understood him.

I hazily nodded and he put my arms on each of his shoulders before unclasping my bra, sliding it off my arms. He soon strung the shirt around my head and carefully pulled it down my freshly wounded arms. He then proceeded to put on pants.

He heard the door and told them to come in. Doctor Reseda soon stopped into the bathroom and began wrapping my new cicatrices. She spoke to Derek about my blood loss, and the damage I caused and then left.

Derek turned back to me and growled deeply.

“How many fucking times?” he said in a dangerously low tone. I gulped and looked down. He walked over to me before yanking my face towards his blue flames. “Violet.” he growled, glaring at me, “why?”

Something snapped in my hazy state. Why? It was him! He made the voices do this!

“W-why?” I croaked, bringing my eyes up to him. “You!” I raised my voice, slightly shocked at myself.

His grip tightened, and an emotion flashed in his eyes before neutralizing them again. “You don’t raise your voice at your Alpha!” he shouted at me, I flinched down. “Understand me?” I whimpered. “Words, weakling, words.”

my lips, “Yes, A...Alpha.” he growled once more

of the door, leaving it open. I groaned before turning the other way

door closing. I didn’t bother turning over, that was until I felt the bed dip. I swiveled my head and

me to turn back around and hesitantly I did. He laid down and pulled me to him, his arm resting on

...What is he doing?...

Violet. He’s our mate, he’s allowed to sleep with

...No...

evident, perhaps he felt guilty? I didn’t want a pity party,

started to trace patterns on his arm that laid

grunted out.

he was insinuating, but yet my mind was amuck from the events that happened

tracing again, but he wasn’t pleased, “go to bed.” He grumbled, crushing my

stomach, right onto my newly developing bruise, and he didn’t seem to be letting go anytime soon. I

groggily mumbled,

hurts…” I

sleep, flower.” there was almost a desperate tone in his plea, but I

his voice gruff, it made my heart speed up.

whispered and he sighed out before he pulled his arm away from my waist and sat up. I looked up

didn’t want

my answer. He frowned down at

want to go for a walk? Come on,”

shoes, if you need any help, I’ll be out here,” he cautiously let go off my arm and

freshly wrapped wounds, because I just told them they hurt. That wasn’t a lie, it didn’t

subconsciously leaned into him, my fear of the dark crawling

Flower,” Derek whispered to me, lowly and I was surprised I

the sound of the grass under our shoes and the insects doing whatever it is they do. I was growing drowsy from

glancing up

“Derek,” he corrected.

I’m s-sorry,” I shook my head, feeling bad and my cheeks were heating up. “C-can we head back,

light squeeze to my hand

glanced up at him before looking back down.

My chest felt heavy as I looked up at him with wide eyes.

it differently.

s-sexually,” I answered truthfully, my cheeks got red,

sexually, like spending

he did, um- I didn’t want him to,” I quickly rushed out, I didn’t want

I didn’t realize I

bent down, scooping me up. A small sound of protest left my lips because I felt bad.

s-sorry,” I let my head rest against his shoulder, my

I silently nodded, my eyes closing, my

“D-Derek?”

“Flower?”

i-it when you y-yell at me,” I murmured. Normally, I’m not certain I would ever tell him something like that, but I was tired and Sage would take advantage of

sorry, Flower. Go to bed, honey. I’ll be with you in the morning.” he spoke softly, walking inside his house, up

voice whispered in my ear. I shuddered and kept my eyes closed, hugging the hard pillow in my arms. “Flower, wake up.” the voice rang again and

was slightly shaken and slowly I cracked my eyes open to see Derek. I was hugging his body

and saw his blue orbs staring down

“You were crying.”

mumbled my apology for distributing his sleep and felt him pull away from me and out of

breath caught in

...What was he doing?...

mine and he grabbed my wrist pinning them above my head with one hand, the other grabbing my jaw, I was surprised it wasn’t bruising yet, but this grip was soft. He didn’t want to hurt me. He leaned in threateningly and whispered to me his breath fanning against

down in my darkest cellar,” his lethal voice rang, “or maybe, I’ll let you pay

same guy

him your wrist that you so desperately try to hide. See what he does to you,” his voice seemed scornful, but

been a bad

'Bad Girl.'

out of his hold, sobs alarmingly leaving my lips.

“G-get off…” I blubbered.

my instant mood change, straddling my lap.

“Vio-”

of me! You- you...” I yelled at him, my voice cracking as I wiggled underneath his legs,

“Violet,” his voice had calmed down from his former vicious tone to his

could help but stammer. I wasn’t

...I’m a good girl...

a good girl, it’s fine- I didn’t

whispered and he got off of