The Alpha and The Fool novel Chapter 18

“Sorry, Nic,” Jon said with a shrug of his shoulders. He, Wesley, Sade, and I sat in the game room. Dean helped Wesley get the records we needed, but had to leave to cover someone’s shift at the hospital.

I forced a smile onto my lips. “No worries. If pack law states no women challengers then we’ll find something else. What did you guys find out about Brandon?”

Wesley didn’t seem any happier than Jon did when he cleared his throat. “Brandon came along with the alpha of Orlando. It seems a year or so after he left us, the alpha there took him in and they’re now best of friends, apparently.”

“Ah,” I said. My chest tightening and breathing was becoming harder. “Is there anything in the law books preventing a champion of sorts. Could Dean issue a challenge and I fight for him?”

Jon crossed his arms over his chest, brow furrowed. “I don’t think I saw anything about champions, but…” he shrugged as he looked at me. “Seeing as how they’re so anti-woman fighting, the other alphas would probably veto the option.”

Sade cleared her throat. “I heard from my parents. Brandon is officially the alpha now. They’ve done the ceremony to welcome him in and everything. He’s made your father his beta for now and…” Her expression softened to sympathy. “Everyone seems pleased he’s come back.” She stopped, but there was obviously more to say. “They asked about you and Brandon told them you chose to stay, refusing to accept him as alpha. The general response isn’t good.”

“For him or for me?” I asked, but when I saw her expression I knew the answer. “Why?”

“He was always going to be the alpha, I guess,” Sade replied.

“But he left? Did they all forget about that?”

“To them, he was grieving, all people deal with grief differently. He came back when your father needed him and saved him from Alpha Brent,” Sade explained.

Her expression was still tight. Again, there was more said, but this time she stayed silent. Perhaps her parents demanded she and Wesley return back home. What would she do? Did she want go back? Did her parents convience her that I was wrong? Sade’s face was guarded and I wasn’t sure one way or another. “Right,” I said, my voice cracking a little. I cleared my throat. “I guess this is a good time to take a break, decompress, and we’ll go back to the drawing board.”

“Nic,” Wesley said, looking worried.

“We’ll met up again in a few hours, Wes. We’ll think of the ‘what next’ then, okay?” I left before any of them said anything. Their sympathetic looks were worse than the bad news, and it was really bad news. I walked through the house, eventually stopping in the main living room. It was empty now, but I took a seat in the far corner of the room. I pulled up my legs and chewed on my lip and let the reality of the situation sink down into me.

I closed my eyes and hugged myself. This was near to the worst outcome I’d imagined. My pack, no, not my pack anymore, didn’t need me to save them apparently. They didn’t care that Brandon would only abandon them again when it suited him. Or would he? With irritation, I ran a hand over my head again. Could I be wrong about him and this whole situation? Is that what Alpha Brent and everyone else had been trying to tell me, true? Was I being a spoiled brat who didn’t get the toy she wanted? I wasn’t sure anymore.

I let all the emotions I’d been keeping in check come in and have their say. Sometimes I cried, sometimes ground my teeth until it started to hurt, and sometimes it was like I couldn’t breathe. Surprisingly the people that came and went, paid me no mind. Perhaps I wasn’t the first to act like a bipolar psycho here or maybe they knew I needed to be alone.

Whatever the reason, I was left be to process everything and when it was done I actually felt a lot better. I was a rogue, I’d lost my pack and my family, I had no future, and all of this hurt like hell, but it didn’t have to be the end, right? There had to be some other purpose for my life. The thought made my nose wrinkle, but what choice did I have?

“Hey Nic,” Dean said, sounding surprised.

I looked up as he walked into the room. He was wearing odd shade of olive green scrubs. He pulled one of the arm chairs over next to me. “Hey Dean, you’re home early aren’t you?”

Dean gave me a odd look as he sat down. “Nic, it’s seven in the morning, I’ve been working all night.”

“Oh, really?” I blinked in surprise and glanced out the window. Sure enough, the splay of pinks and oranges rose up over the trees.

“Have you been up all night? Something wrong?”

“I guess I have,” I said, purposely avoiding the second question.

Dean continued looking at me strange. “So what’s up?”

I opened and closed my healing hand. It was almost back to normal, but there was still some lingering stiffness. “Your father was right, for starters. The alpha challenge is a no girls allowed club.”

He winced. “No loop holes?”

“Doesn’t seem like it.” I shrugged.

“I’m sorry, Nic. We’ll figure out something,” he said, the wince still in his expression.

“Yeah, we’ll just have to be more creative,” I said and forced a smile on my face.

“Yeah, I mean there is still Sade’s plan, right? We can still call foul on passing of leadership.”

“Totally,” I said, still with this fake positivity. I didn’t know why I was doing it, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop it. “Well, you must be exhausted and I probably need to get some rest too. I’ll see you later.”

“Nic,” Dean said as I stood. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“Of course,” I replied. Eventually, it would be.

“You seem a bit off,” he said standing as well.

I shrugged. “I’m just tired. I hadn’t realized, I’d been up all night.”

“Okay, so what’s next?”

“My face meets the pillow,” I said with a laugh.

Dean’s eyes opened wide. “Is that a joke? From you?”

“Why not? Time to try on new faces, but I am going to try to get a few hours of sleep so it’s not that much of a joke,” I replied, walking to the door.

“Wait, what do you mean try new faces?” Dean asked, taking my hand and giving me a tug towards him. I hesitated then took a step to him. “I knew something was up. Nic, you don’t need to try any new face. The one you have now is perfectly fine. Really, don’t change a thing. You believe me when I said everything is going to be okay, right?”

My stomach did a strange fluttering thing and my cheeks warmed. “Yeah, things will be okay.” And because I couldn’t just leave well enough alone, I added, “Eventually.” His face fell into expression of sympathy. “Don’t,” I held up a hand. “You don’t need to feel sorry for me. I’m going to get enough of that from the others.”

“I don’t, but giving up? You?”

“I’m not giving up, only accepting your father was right. I can’t challenge Brandon and it seems as if my, well not mine, but the pack is perfectly happy without me. So not giving up, only moving on,” I explained.

“I see,” Dean said, nodding. “Call it what you want, but you’re giving up. Who says your pack is happy without you? Yeah, right, sure they do.”

“Sade talked to her parents, they say the pack accepts Brandon and that my objecting only makes me look bad.”

“And we can believe them?”

A dry laugh bubbled out of me. “Yeah, we can.”

He gave me an exaggerated suspicious glare. “They sound like dumbasses to me.”

“Dean.”

“No, seriously, who wouldn’t want you as their alpha instead of some douche who left them when they lost their luna. Duh, no one. That’s who.”

Again, Dean somehow managed to make my moods brighter. “You don’t have to do this. In fact, this is better for you. No alpha duties, no fighting. Life goes on as it always has.”

“Oh no,” Dean said, tugging my hand again. “You are so not going to use me to throw in the towel.” He pulled me into his arms and held me in a loose hug. It was a strange, yet kind of nice. “Now if you’re so concerned with what I want, or what’s ‘better’ for me. I’m willing to discuss that at length or perhaps you’d like if I showed you?”

“Really, Dean?”

He grinned, but instead of saying anything, cupped my cheek in his hand and kissed me, and with it everything that wasn’t him, me, and the kiss, fell away.