Shouldn't Have Kissed You novel Chapter 42

Chris walked downstairs hurt more than he thought was possible. He thought what Kimberly did to him was worse but Maya accusing words hurt him more than he thought he was hurt by his ex lover.

Yes, she was his ex lover. After what she did to him he wanted nothing to do to her. He even fired her but it was Kimberly he was dealing with. She would do anything not to be jobless.

Chris walked to the kitchen and made himself coffee. Where would he go with briefs anyway? It hurt him but he wasn't ready to leave Maya. At least not anytime soon. Or maybe unless she leaves him herself.

She said that she loved him. Maya Freeman loved a man like him. An animal who once saw pleasure in her pain. The beast who pushed her for sitting on his bed which now made nothing without her sleeping besides.

That was what hurt even more. That a woman like Maya would love a beast like him. This wasn't the fairly tale of the beauty and the beast but a reality thing.

It was his reality. Their reality but still she fall in love. She fall in love with him despite his misbehavior. She still did. Chris poured himself a cup of coffee and sat on the highland stood. Damn, he needed to think before he made any decision what so ever.

He placed the cup on his lips but he regretted the moment he did that. The damn this tasted bitter. If there was something that he had come to terms with was coffee. He had accepted that he would never make the same way Maya does dispute her showing him how to make it for more than he can count.

Chris pushed the mug away and walked to the music room. Maybe playing piano would make him make a better decision. A decision that won't hurt her or him at that matter. But walking in there only had him wishing that he hadn't.

How could he play the damn thing when he saw was Maya and him settled on that piano playing together. But it was a warm feeling which in a way had wiped away his hurt. He walked to the piano and sat down.

Chris began to play piano by Nick Minaj and as he played he couldn't help but think of the lyrics. Maybe he was playing Maya. He had played her for so long and she had let him play on. She allowed him to be a beast to her when she could have stopped him. When she could have said enough to him but instead she didn't.

She allowed him to play her. To play her like some piece of garbage. That's why she didn't think twice when she accused him few minutes ago. Because she didn't trust him and she was right not to trust him. She really was because he never gave her reason to trust him since they met...

Chris was jacked up when he had the music play in a different way and if he must add, perfect way. He knew he was off key but not that bad. He turned to his right and there she was, sited next to him.

Chris said nothing and neither did she as they continued to play along the piano. Her thoughts seemed to be far and he knew what she was thinking. She was think what he was thinking before she intruded.

Once the song was over, they all stared at space and let their unspoken words room around the room. It was funny but in a way it was peaceful. Peace that they both had no idea how long it will take before it left them.

"You were off key."

Yeah, that was what she said to him without looking at him. And him, he didn't know what to tell her at all.

"It has become an issue with me, I can't seem to play piano alone anymore."

How else were they supposed to act? She didn't glance at him still and he didn't mind. In fact deep down he was thankful for that.

"It's not only piano." She said looking at something ahead of her. "Even the coffee is worse."

That had Chris laughed which earned him a glance and in a way, it felt like everything was okay. Like they're both warming up to each other.

"I know, right?" He turned himself to fully glance at her. "It seems like I need you in my life Maya."

Of course he did. He needed her in his life more than he needed his damn brain to think. He had admitted that to himself a long time ago but the past wasn't letting him be happy. In fact it made sure to catch up with him every damn moment he seemed to gain happiness.

But how long was he going to allow that? To allow his past determine his present and his future? Until when was he going to pay for the past mistakes? He had done that way too many times and now, now he had to be selfish.

He had to think about himself. Think about his plans for the present and the future and dual on the past. It was the time. If not then then when? When he releases that he has nothing to be proud of in terms of person life.

He wasn't going to let that happen. Maya was his present and his future. His one true love. His heart beat for her and only her. Then where allow his ugly past determine his happiness? Why loose one thing that would forever make him happy because of his retreats and her lack of trust when he could give her reason for her to trust him.

It was better to try than to not try at all. Right?

"And you've me Chris. I'm not going anywhere unless you lemme go."

And those were the only thing that he wanted to hear. Maya was his to love and spend life time with and for that that only he had to appreciate. Yes, he felt like jumping up and down but that was for later. Now, they needed a serious talk before they all entered into there forever love.

"Maya, I'm sorry that I wasn't your ideal husband. I wasn't the man that you dreamed of having an your husband but as nature has it or destiny or fate whatever is out there we met and got married.

"I did hate you from the second time that met and I took my argue on you. I blamed you for everything when I was partly part of it. I was the one who kissed you yet I acted like you're the one. I know I've said this more than ten times but I'll forever say it. I'm truly sorry for everything I did in the past Maya.

"I don't one to loose you now cause I know nothing without you. I'll die without you and I'd do it slowly which is painful. Like I told you, I love you Maya. I love you more than I ever wanted to love you.

"I don't know how it happened or when it did so please don't ask me. But in a way you grew under my skin and I can't seem to wash you of me. I need you Maya. I need you more than I care to admit to Wesley when he tells me I'm already whipped. Hell I am.

"I get jealous when I see you laugh louder with anyone that is not me. I do Maya. Most especially when you hold hands in public with Leonel and seen relax but when do that you get tensed.

"I want my present and future with you. I need you in my life Maya Freeman. I want you love me and only me. I want us to tell our kids our story together. I want to be their biological father and you mother, Maya. I love you that much. I want to get old with you and if there is reincarnation, then I want my next life with you.

"I want you in heaven with me as we sing glorious God. Please, let's grow both physically, spiritually and emotionally together. Give me a chance to prove to you that I can be an angel from being a devil."

Okay, where that speech came from, he had no idea but he was glad that it did. He expressed his feelings toward her and all he hoped for was for her to listen to him and give him a chance. She was his necessity and he wouldn't do anything without her by his side.

Chris was sure that Maya was his better half. His lost rib and her fresh of his fresh.

"Chris." She called taking his hand. "I should be the one apologies to you for everything. It's fault as much as its you and I won't make any speech to you of any sort.

"I love you Chris Rollins and just like you I don't know when my crush turned to love but it did despite everything that went down between us. I know when people will learn what went on between the two of us they will call me name. And I don't blame them.

"In fact I deserve there hate and everything but we don't tell our heart who to love and not to. And for that, I'm ready to be called a fool for your sake. Please just lemme show you that I truly trust you Chris. I'm sorry about earlier. Truly sorry."

Chris pulled his had away from her shaking ones and placed them on her cheeks. He wiped away her tears and smiled at her. It was a new beginning. For them and there love for each other. All he prayed for was that they love each other forever.

Chris pulled Maya into a hug and they stayed like that for what seemed like forever. He had his love by his side and he sure as hell going to cherish every moment together. They exchanged I love you and stayed quiet after pulling away from each other.