Shouldn't Have Kissed You

Maya walked out of the ER with a long face. It had happened again and she had no control of it. She did her best but why did it feel like her best wasn't good enough. It's like she hadn't even tried at all.

She walked to her office and took off her coat. She just had a feeling that his wife would be after her in no time. And just as she sat down, the door was knocked. She answered a come in as she watched the doorknob twist and in walked the familiar face.

She had promised to do her best to make sure that she saved the woman's husband. She had promised but death knows no promises. She inhaled as she drank in the woman's look today. She seemed tired. Her blond hair was in a messy ponytail and her dress, it's like she was in a hurry to make sure she was at the hospital.

Maya herself had been woken at 4:00am by a phone call telling her to get to the hospital as quickly as she could. So she had worn what she came a close and she never bothered about a bath. It could wait for all she cared at that time. She got to the hospital and rushed to her patient's room.

According to the doctor that was in a night shift, he complained of sever headaches before they gave him painkillers to make him calm down. At this time, she was confused. It had only been few weeks since she operated to the guy.

In fact, she had operated him the following day after her wedding and before she went on her supposed honeymoon, he was getting well. And when she came back? He was okay. He was even making his 'lame' jokes with her as she called them. They weren't lame. They were the best and she just said that to make their conversation longer.

And yesterday? He was okay. He even looked forward to going back to his family and she also wanted that for him. He was young. He had a life to leave. So, Maya did what she thought was the best thing at that moment. Took him to emergency room to start her operation.

She knew what she was doing was illegal but a human life is more than any legality in the world. His papers were signed since his family wasn't there but to her, it was to hell with it. She didn't give a shit at that moment.

And now, here she was. She tried but it's like wanted him more. But does it mean that when people die it's because God wanted them? She wanted answers from Him. Answers as to why He let an innocent man die in her hands when she asked Him to guide her hands.

Maya felt like she was being chocked as she asked the lady to seat down. Claudia obeyed as she watched her.

"What's going on doctor?" She asked as she kept her glance at Maya.

Maya felt like she was going to throw up any moment from then. Everything was bitter in her. This was third time that she lost her patient in an operating room. But this was different. It was different because she had become too attached.2

Too attached to save her own self from the pain. And her she was, the one breaking the news to his wife. How was she going to do that. She swallowed her bitter saliva.

you need to be strong," she began. She had to start from somewhere,

I think I deserve more than that statement. I mean, I was called to come over and I couldn't make it on time. So please, for what is

her and broke the sad to news to Claudia. Claudia broke down

even worse. She was in denial of her husband's death. Maya couldn't stay

collages asked her to take the day off. Maya thanked her and drove herself back home. As she drove she now understood why doctors never tried their

a way happy. Her eyes were puffy and she didn't want Bernice or

He clothes were still in her suitcase as if any moment she was

that she wanted to anyway. She was happy with the little she received. She had a roof over her head, a loving mother in law and the best chef she had ever had. Not

not like she wanted him to. She walked to the bathroom and took her quick shower. Once

there and a hard floor wasn't what she needed at that time, so, without glancing

maybe, it was the best thing she could think of at that moment. To look around in order to forget. To forget

rooms that were on first floor. They all were guestrooms but with different interior design. She loved everyone of it and at the same time felt sorry for herself. Here

of the hallway, there stood a double door. She looked at it curious as she doubted that it would be opened. But still she had to try, Maya pulled she door as if

ground. There, before her stood a library that filled with books. She walked inside wondering how she never noticed this.

all kinds even surgeons like her could get books from there. Her hands moved to one book that caught

explore or she would go insane. As she took her last steps to the ground floor which contained a old fashioned but still beautiful dinning area, a kitchen that was the

Maybe she won't be suffering at this time. She wouldn't be alone at this time. She missed him so much and she hoped that one day

been a month and she saw no signs of it being lit anytime soon anyway. The place was even getting cobwebs and it was dusty everywhere, like no one cared about the

beautiful. Very much beautiful with an African art with it. Everything was made of wood and she loved it. Maya walked to room that was after the fire place. Her eyes were used to the

loved designing more than music if you asked her. But it was in that same music she saw him on the stage and

back

instruments in the room. All that she knew and others that she had no idea what they're called. If you asked her, she would have a band of her own at that moment and no one would lack

and he was right but she never wanted to admit it to him. Her fingers felt the Strings and she had to admit that it