Second Assault — Bond And Treason —

Friday, April 5th. Yaakov's room, 3:25 a.m.

ALEXEI

—Xander!

I wake up with a jump, drenched in sweat, struggling to fill my lungs with air and screaming his name once again. Three days now... Three bloody, torturous days without him and still not have the answers I need to go after my partner.

I'm losing my mind, I'm on the cusp of despair and on the verge of just going out, organizing a team of men and starting a fucking war against anyone if that means I can get him back in my arms. And the dreams... The helplessness of having him so far away yet so close. To hear his soft, sweet voice, to feel his fear, and his doubts pass through me and not be able to do a fucking thing to help him.

Although, I am sure they are not just dreams, it is something else, something that connects us so intimately and deeply, just the two of us. It immerses us in the emotions and the strong and special bond we have created through our love.

«I can feel you».

He said to me then, the relief and hope in his voice still haunts me, threatening to crush the integrity of my heart. How I wish I could be there with him, facing the storm that is sure to come. To be his base and his pillar so that his strength is not broken and his will impels him to continue.

can't I see

How vulnerable his little body looked in that huge, dark forest, how

his emotions ran through my soul and tore my heart

out to me was so strong that I almost went insane. I just hope that, by the time

in my thoughts and the idea of Xander suffering without me, that I'm surprised to realize that Yaakov

without him. Pathetic, I know, but I refuse to pretend everything's okay when in fact, I

fucking not. The comfort of having Yaakov's support at this time, who is practically my brother, is gigantic compared to the loneliness I would have

him again? — puts a hand on my shoulder and passes me a glass of water. I take it as fast as I can and just nod, while slowly my breathing returns to its usual rhythm —. Do you want me to call Lev? Maybe he knows

replied angrily, leaving the empty glass on the table at the side of the bed —. Besides, I don't think Lev can do anything, so... This thing that's

you mean?— questions in

the room —. It's strange, but every time it happens, it's like I can feel what he feels— I gesture with my hands as I explain, pointing to my chest, wishing I could rip out my heart, leave it in a container where nothing and no one can reach it. Anything, I would do anything to stop suffering this way —. To know exactly what is going on in his

suggests with

I've ever come to know he's okay, even if I have doubts about whether

at him and my