SAGE

Sage Miller

I was almost glad summer is almost over. Looking back I realized how much crazy the summer has been. I realized that I didn't even celebrate 4th of July but it's not like I've ever celebrated it.

I won't say I'm happy to wake up early and having to deal with insufferable teachers.

Well I look at it this way, only two years until I'm out of that shit whole. So that's a plus right?

It's been two weeks straight since I last saw Alora. Guilt wouldn't let me go through with what I told her and pride didn't let me apologize.

I'll admit this much, I did shameless things. I hid my number and called her numerous times and said nothing when she answered just to hear her voice.

I'm pathetic right?

I miss her but I can't have her nor do I wanna lose her. I can't stay with her and I don't wanna keep her either.

It's fucked up. I'm fucked up.

At least one positive thing came out of this summer, I got to do the only thing worth doing, spending time with Eve.

She has been more calmer and relaxed even though I dealt with a few breakdown courtesy of Styles. But I would choose those breakdown than dealing with an aftermath after Clara break her.

Well Styles..... Styles is the Godfather. There's nothing I can do about it. That one night I got to see him vulnerable was never mentioned. It was as if it never happened. Either he doesn't remember or he's pretending but either way, I never brought it up.

Things between us are different yet the same.

He gets pissed when I spend too much time at Zac's. Especially when Mason's there.

It's still a mystery how he knows everytime Mason is there.

Sebastian is another story on its own. He's pissy and it's annoying. I choose to avoid him most of the time.

Well Connor is still Connor. He gets busy with his night job and we find time to party when he's free.

I can say it's been a good summer just not the one I had planned.

My phone vibrated as I opened the door . I took it out and my lips curved upwards.

'Shopping this Saturday. And I'm not asking it's an order. It's your big sis talking'

I smiled brighter reading the text from Eve. She was pulling rank on me. it's funny because I look older than her. People often mistake me for the older sibling.

'I thought you hatred shopping?'. I replied and not even seconds later a response appeared on the tiny screen.

"I don't anymore.'

We texted for almost twenty minutes before we said our goodbyes. About a year ago we didn't do this. We didn't text sharing funny stories.

About a year ago our lives were different. We fought just to make it through the night.

"Mummies and zombies aren't the same." Connor argued once more.

We just finished watching 'The mummy' but I couldn't even remember how we got to this argument.

"Yes they are." I repeated for the thousand time.

"Your hypothesis is disproved by all the data. You're just clinging to your logic out of stupid stubbornness." He said and I gasped.

"You're showing a shocking ignorance at the subject at hand." I argued back. I'm stubborn, I can't help it but on this case I wasn't just stubborn.

"Mummies are wrapped in bandages and they dont eat brains." He pointed out.

"That's called a fashion choice as for the brain part, that's a lifestyle choice. They might be vegan." I stated in a matter of fact.

He huffed in annoyance. This argument was dragging on forever because someone AKA Connor didn't wanna agree that zombies and mummies are the same.

"If a zombie bites you, you turn into a zombie however if a mummy bites you, you turn into a dickhead with a mummy bite." He smugly said with a stupid smirk.

"That's where you're wrong because-." As I was about to prove this fucker wrong. The door bell rang.

At first I ignored it not really wanting to go open the door.

"You go get it." I told Connor but Connor wasn't having any of it.

"No you get it. I got it when the pizza guy was here. It's your turn dude."

We had an agreement that we'd take turns answering

the door already annoyed at the person

as I opened the door my jaw dropped. I was suddenly

out. Shock was

hands in his pocket and he was staring at his shoes.

unreal. I had to blink to really believe

we talk?" He asked

showed how guilty he really was

Sebastian Wilder

wasn't easy but it didn't matter much

boyfriends over me over and over again until I decide I didn't care anymore.

like he was choosing him over me too. I felt neglected and hurt. It felt like he was choosing

the truth is, I'm

I felt every time mom chose something

me.

might have said somethings I didn't mean and stayed away out

I became more bitter. I was envious of

People didn't like me like they did him. I still wonder how Connor and Sage

me. Her own son. Her own

my stupidity I lost the

new people. I'm antisocial and an asshole. I don't know how

asshole but he was nice enough for people to like him. His charm got him everything. The girls and he could get out of any trouble using just

Connor is nice. I mean really fucking nice. People like him. Everyone, even I like him. And when I

best friend even and I

are they still my

of me. I try so hard to be nice but they just

life. Well not all of it but he knows enough

crack hoe who couldn't care two cent about her piece of shit

as I can remember I had to live on the neighbor's handouts. Their left

who enrolled me in school I wouldn't have went to one.

from school to find her past out on the sofa or high as a kite that she couldn't tell if I was standing in front

seven year old. I'd clean after her and found whatever left over I'd find and if they weren't any, I'd go to bed in an empty stomach and waited for tomorrow when Sage would bring

to Sage's house after school so I could at least eat. It sounds pathetic now

was okay. I'd still loved my

it well. And when Sage's mom

joined a gang for money. The pay was good and I could be an asshole and didn't have to worry about being

more asshole you are. The more

but it's my place and no one can

the story I

go inside because Connor was staying with him. I

his door step. I was ready to fix everything. I wanted my best friend back. I know Connor will never forgive me but at least I

I needed to talk

the door. I'm just hoping Sage will be the

knocked again and because I know how lazy

and my hands were shaking so

and I slowly

I was so relived he

fooled my mind that things were okay. That

I asked not sure if I still

can." He sounded

inside?" I asked

He sighed. "He still pissed so it's best of

it. I saw his anger first hand when I went to

it. I just stood there not knowing what to do. I shifted my weight from one foot to

his mouth then closed

as those words left my mouth I mentally kicked myself

to apologize and mean it in my life and it proved to be more difficult than my head made

back I would've been able to guess but right now I have no expectations. I don't know if you came here to throw more insults in

ruined good things because I was blinded

I would never apologise to anyone

grovel at their feet for a piece of bread. When I was old enough I swore to never

friendship I'll try the best I can to

up. I blamed you for my mistakes. I blamed everyone for my screw up except myself, the only person who was responsible. I've been bitter and unbearable. I pushed away the only people who can stand me because I didn't wanna admit I screwed up. That I fucked up bad. I'll admit, at the beginning I didn't see my mistakes. I mean you were doing it so why couldn't I. My mistake was not considering my friend's feelings because like it or not, Connor is my friend too.

vent to him

listen to someone whine

mother. It broke something in me. Her cries as Connor walked away haunt me in my sleep. I guess I deserves that after what I did. And when I went there to actually apologised I knew I wouldn't have meant it. I went there just to say I'm sorry so you'd think- I don't know. It would've been an empty apology. Then I couldn't deal with the fact that I ruined something because it reminded so much of mom's words. I was in denial and I was blaming you because you kept saying I should own up to my mistake and what I didn't wanna do. Then you started hanging with the Godfather and I couldn't even join you because I was a fuckhead. I started being bitter and resenting you for it. It actually took a druggie in my