Chapter 16: I'm Sorry
I wake up face down on the floor in a heap, arm draped awkwardly over my head and limbs splayed out on the hardwood, disorientated, choking on my own blood, and gagging on bile. Gathering my wits and trying to get my bearings, I struggle to move, dazed for a moment and then I remember where I am, and what he's doing to me. Like a rush of water flowing back to a dry riverbed when the damn is breached.
That surge of furious self-preservation, instant awareness as the room comes back at me and I jump up, heart tearing through my chest with elevated thuds, claws appearing, mind a burning mess of mad. Ready to take him on in a battle to the death and fueled by something inside of me that I never knew I possessed.
I feel like my hatred could melt steel, with the heat radiating from my fiery depths and I spin hysterically, ready to demolish my attacker. Body mid turn in furious speed when I realize he is on the other side of the room from me and looking at me like I have two heads. A good twelve feet away at the least and crouching down, panting heavily, as though he too is recovering.
"Woah, woah. Lorey, calm down, I didn't do anything. Stop and breathe. Take a moment before you start again!" He jumps to his feet, hyperaware of my sudden rise. His palms up, facing me, flat out and he is completely naked, as am I, which only pushes me to heights of venomous hatred.
Claws fully extend as do my teeth and my body shudders as it begins to transform around me, ready to fight him and maim him until this pain inside of my heart starts to ebb. I'm crushed inside, as though my soul is ripped to shreds and hanging around my organs like unwanted trash on the wind. I've never felt this much aggression or blood lust, and I have him fully in my sights. My body tingling all over even though I have no memory of what he has put me through, but enough to know what he intended.
"What did you do to me? Why would you do that to me?" I scream at him, my voice pitched in raw, raspy, hysteria, but he raises his hands higher and pleads with me mentally. His eyes softening, with no attempt to turn, as he watches me at a distance.
Please stop and listen. Let me explain. I haven't, and wouldn't, do that to you. He coaxes gently.
You raped me!! I mentally scream back at him, not seeing anything around me anymore, just the pulsing beat of the vein in his throat as I hone in and know where I'll be aiming with my take down bite, I don't care if it ends us both. I'll kill him for defiling me, destroying my trust in him, ravaging my heart and soul this way.
He shakes his head, looking completely devastated and disheveled. Radiating so many emotions my way but I battle them back, like bouncing tennis balls off a glass wall.
NO, I did not! I never intended to either. Lorey, please, sit… I'll stay here, you stay there, and just let me talk. I need you to calm down and listen. Think. Remember.
I'm breathing so heavily my chest is heaving and I can't calm down. Especially not when he's telling me to. He has no right; he can't be serious with this shit after what he just did. He broke the trust, he broke us, he ruined the bond, and nothing will fix that.