Dexter

The banquet with Victoria was three days ago. Her demands were childish. I didn’t get why she was so obsessed with me and my cock. Since that day in her swanky apartment my dick hadn’t gotten hard unless I thought about Sasha. Harry had some good ideas, and we were planning to execute them soon. I had never wanted to end up like my father, so emotionally bound to a woman, but I knew if I behaved like I have in the past few years I would drive everyone away from me. It was time to bury the obnoxious and lethal Dexter deep in the ground. I missed Sasha. All of a sudden I wasn’t interested in any brunettes, just one particular blonde.

At work, in the apartment, everywhere I went—all I thought about was Sasha. I missed her curvy body, her sassy mouth, and that wet silky pussy that I enjoyed screwing so much. I fought with myself over what I wanted and what I felt. I did love her and I didn’t want to be alone anymore. She was the only person that made me happy. Love terrified me and I was scared that I had lost her. Like everyone else I’d really cared about. In one moment Dad was with me, in the next he was gone. I’d always guarded myself, afraid to get too close. Joey was the only one that understood me, but then he was gone too.

Victoria wasn’t happy with how things ended between us the other night. I was afraid that she would change her mind and just snap. I bet no one had satisfied her the way I had, but someone needed to let her know that the old Dexter had died. The moment I said those shitty things to Sasha, I was done with being a train wreck.

I’d fucked up badly and now I wanted to fix it; I needed to. When I woke up on Saturday morning I was done with thinking about our times together. It was time to get her back.

My mother gladly reminded me about my appointment with Bishop on Monday. No one apart from close family, Sasha, and Harry knew about my issues and I was hoping to keep it that way.

After a strong cup of coffee, I grabbed my car keys and left the complex. I knew exactly where I needed to go, but I wasn’t sure if she would want to listen to me. Our last meeting wasn’t particularly successful. I’d said some things that weren’t relevant to us. Now things were even more complicated.

It took me over an hour to drive to Glasgow. Traffic was terrible. Besides that, I was a nervous wreck: my palms were sweaty and my pulse irregular.

When I arrived on the familiar street, for a brief moment I thought that Sasha might be here, but I didn’t see her car anywhere. But she wouldn’t go back to Glasgow to live with her parents. She had talked to me about Edinburgh.

I’d chosen casual, not over-the-top clothes, and I had practiced my smile in the bathroom mirror earlier on. I had Ronny; I could pay him to get me her address, but I wanted to fix this the right way. Sasha needed to see that I had made some changes in my shitty life, and if this was going to work, I had to start from the bottom.

I cleared my throat and knocked three times. There was a small Fiat parked outside, so someone was definitely at home. My fucked-up heart skipped a beat when I heard footsteps, and a few seconds later Sasha’s mother opened the door. She was in her jeans but had no make-up on. Her eyes took me in, widening slightly. She didn’t look happy and I hadn’t even opened my mouth yet.

“Kath, please, I need to talk to you. This is very important,” I said, switching straight to her first name. It was a huge risk, but Sasha’s mother looked like she didn’t take any bullshit.

“Is my daughter with you?” she asked, opening the door wider and glancing outside.

“No, she isn’t. I screwed up and she left. You’re the only person that can help me. I need her new address.”

I sounded like a complete douche, but I knew that if I convinced her mother, then I stood more chance at gaining Sasha’s trust. This could go either way—she could invite me in or throw me off her property. The second option wasn’t very appealing.

She took a sharp deep breath and looked up the road, like she was afraid that someone would see us.

“I’m not going to talk about Joey.”

“I’m not here about Joey. All I care about is your daughter, Kath.”

She hesitated for a moment, probably weighing her options. Then she opened the door wider, nodding to me to get inside.

“Let’s go to the kitchen. My husband is upstairs. He’s sleeping and I don’t want to wake him up.”

The house looked old; the kitchen needed updating. I probably had only five minutes to convince this woman to give me Sasha’s address. I bet she’d moved to Edinburgh like she planned.

“Dexter, right?” she asked when we sat down at a small table in the kitchen.

to be Sasha’s neighbour

was a really, really bad start. Kath was just watching me. Her expression was detached. I needed to show her that I did care about her daughter, that I wasn’t some douche

it together, you

was that me and Sasha—we lived next door to each other, but I was stupid enough to drive her away when she tried to help me. I have been in the hospital in the past few weeks. The sale of the apartment went through a few days ago and now I don’t have her

looking

daughter went through hell, Dexter. Her ex-boyfriend ruined her life. It took her a year to pick up the pieces and start living again. Sasha doesn’t need another Kirk. He was a disrespectful, selfish man that couldn’t keep his dick

her douche ex, but this wasn’t the time or a place. Besides, what was

tell you what happened between us?” I

She talked about you a couple of weeks back.

around before Sasha, but I was always open and honest about my lifestyle choices. I had never promised anyone a relationship. Your daughter changed me after we started hanging out together.

a little. He wanted to make me happy, too, more than

something that I needed to hear. I thought she

and probably

I was losing her. “This whole thing with the apartment and Joey, it only pulled us apart. I

don’t care about Joey. I want Sasha. You don’t need to explain anything,” I said. This wasn’t going the way I planned. I was a pretty screwed-up guy with a fucking mental illness. Joey was

husband doesn’t know and I want to keep it that way, but my daughter… she deserves an explanation and I want you to tell her everything when you get the chance to.

sorry, but you’re confusing

one knew we kept in touch, but as usual, life got in the way and I found myself engaged to Sasha’s father. Joey never promised me anything, and when he came back to Glasgow he asked me to run away with him, to leave Robert. That day, my father caught us in the garden. He went ballistic and he threw Joey out. My family didn’t want a scandal, and my Dad didn't want me to break the engagement. Our love was crazy, but it remained unfulfilled. Joey became very successful and he came back for me. A few days later I found out that I was pregnant with Sasha and I decided to go ahead with the marriage, with my new life. Joey and I saw each other a few

I wasn’t expecting this. When I came here today I thought that I could get Sasha’s address and disappear. It looked like Kath was a

I had thought about him over the years, but I never looked

I don’t think you should be telling me all this. Maybe you

myself, asking if I made the right decision. I was always worried about other people, about my father and family. I sacrificed my own happiness and I don’t want this to happen to my daughter. It’s not my place to tell you about what happened to her with her last boyfriend. She ran away from the city, from the drama. If you want her, you need to be open and

to do. My head felt overloaded with information. Love

Joey had talked about Sasha’s mother, but I never asked for any explanation. He

I said my goodbyes to Kath, I didn’t head straight to Sasha, but I went to one of the stores in the retail park. This was something that I felt I needed to do first. The hospital pushed some bad memories through, but Bishop and Jones had helped me. They pushed and pushed until I agreed to take the meds and admit to them that I needed help. I paid upfront for a flat-screen

looked the same. The TV wasn’t too heavy, but I still managed to get into a fight with a fucking security guard who didn’t want to let me through. In the end, I made a hell of a noise and disturbed the usual deadly silence on the

I barged into the staff room carrying the box.

in the neighbourhood and I thought I’d pop in to see if you all missed me,” I said sarcastically, putting the TV on the table. I should have paid people to do this shit for me. They were all still staring blankly, like I was going

asked someone that I didn’t

asked back, wondering what the hell was

Nurse

Now tell us all, what do we use

supposed to be in this room. Why did you bring this TV in here? I’m going to

I can’t fucking stand you sitting in here reading the same fucking magazine

expected her to start shouting again, but for a really long and awkward moment she just stared at me. I didn’t

us a

“Yes, Jonesy.”

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