Two weeks have gone by since my heat started. Did I get my relief? Most definitely.
Xander took special care of me. He listened to my body and knew just what it needed as if he'd been through this before. He was gentle when I needed him to be and rough when I asked for it. He imprinted on me and that's how he knew what I needed.
Once my heat ended, I stayed a few days with him because of the imprint. His wolf was very possessive and would not let me leave. Did we continue to make love? Have sex? Fuck?
No hour went wasted.
Am I dying of guilt? Totally.
I'm guilty for neglecting my son for so long over an imprint. I was fully able to leave Max when I had his mark.
I'm guilty for enjoying it. I enjoyed it even after my heat. Xander was different. He definitely was not Max.
His sex was totally different. For an 18 year old, he sure knew his way around a females body. Max was great but he was supposed to be as he was my first but now after tasting Xander, I'm not so sure if he was my best.
I've been locked in my apartment for days now. Xander keeps coming to check on me but I asked him to give me space. This was all too quick for me. I have a newborn I need to raise. I'm not trying to draw attention to myself so Max won't find me. Being around Xander frees me in a way where I could risk it all and I have to think about my son more than anything.
Maybe after some time, I'll try it out with him. Whatever it is that we are doing.
Right now, the plan was to work on me. Being a mother first. That is my priority. My situation isn't ideal but I will make the most of it because my son deserves better from his parents. I will give him the world, whatever the cost. He will have a good upbringing and I will never neglect him again, especially for a man.
The claw marks had faded, thank the goddess but I could still feel a slight longing for Xander. It was faint but still there.
Am I pregnant? Thank the goddess not! I would've died. It didn't rain but I also paid the kind doctor a visit so I can rule out a CJ surprise. I could not handle another kid.
Tomorrow I was going to face Xander. Tell him I am not with child, although I think the doctor probably beat me to it. I will tell him where I stand with him and hope he understands.