I slam my pen down on the desk.

Fuck!

I’m educated, intelligent and usually articulate. I have no difficulties expressing my thoughts.

So, how difficult can it be to write a five-minute Best Man’s Speech?

I rose early, wanting a little peace and quiet so I could get on with the most classic of a Best Man’s duties. I’d assumed it would be easy and I would run the job off in twenty or thirty minutes.

An hour later, the paper in front of me remains stubbornly blank.

And my eyes ache.

Surely I don’t need another eye test?

It goes with middle-age I suppose….

There’s no upside to getting older….

I need coffee….

Leaning back against the counter, sipping at my drink, my mind wanders, travelling back in time to my first marriage….

No….

My marriage….

For this wedding, it’s Michael who is marrying her.

But it doesn’t feel like that.

It feels like my wedding too.

And I’ll get it right this time….

This is my true marriage.

it will be Michael who says the

Memories….

complaints. Never happy. Always complaining there wasn’t

to work. I wanted her to be a mother to our

are you now,

keep her photo. I’d like to have it on my desk, but I’m

Becoming a woman. Holding up her exam certificate to show me. Beaming brightly because

so proud of

still proud

More memories….

flown the nest to her university and the sick realisation settles on me

for money…. Screaming for possession of everything. As though she’d earned it

recognition that she had someone

seeing him before the

Who cares…

Bitch.

from her: I gave her the house. The car. The fucking lot.

the final blow: as it dawned on me that Georgie would

That my ex-wife had poisoned her against me. My little girl, the

mother lied

did the things Marlene said. And I didn’t leave her without money. It’s hardly my fault she had

seen Georgie for years. And the last time I heard from her was when her

my

There’s no problem with Charlotte’s spending. I’ve never known anyone so careful

than a

Count your blessings….

friend and the woman I love soon to be wed, in the marriage I engineered to ensure the future of our Triad. My work is interesting, fulfilling and earns me more money than I ever dreamed of in those earlier years

Richard….

to make the best of

the back of my mind, but the thoughts don’t

Don’t think about it….

when the

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