“Ross, when you were saying if there was anything you could do….”

“Of course….”

“Could you put some food together. Light easy finger food. Something appetising. Hospital food is….”

“No problem Mr Haswell. Leave me with it.”

A couple of hours later, Ross has performed a minor miracle. “I know you said finger-food, but they need something solid inside them. But I’ve put it all in individual containers, so it will be easy to eat.”

“That’s perfect. Thank you.”

“If there’s anything else, just call me.”

“We will.”

“And tell Charlotte and Michael that we’re all thinking of them.”

“We’ll do that.”

Carrying Ross’ food offerings, we go to James’ room, then hesitate uncertainly at the door.

There is no sign of Michael.

James is still lying there, eyes closed, lost to the world. A monitor pings at regular intervals. Charlotte is there. She’s not noticed us, sitting by the bed with her back turned. Holding his hand, she kisses the fingers, talking quietly to him.

“…. I know you always worried about being older than I am…. But I still thought we were going to have years and years together…. Now…. What am I supposed to do? With you like this? I love Michael too, but it’s supposed to be the three of us. Don’t leave me, Master. Please don’t leave me….”

And the sobs come again, racking her body as she shakes and weeps over him.

Oh, God….

How long can this go on?

What can I do?

What can I do?

her arms around her, I hold her hands. But it’s not us she

hissed curse. I turn. It’s Michael, hair

were asleep….” Then to me.

for you,” says

grateful look. “That’s great, thanks. Charlotte, c’mon, eat.” He unclips a container

It’s his mother’s recipe

her face away, her mouth working, looking ready to vomit. “I’m not

into a dish, pushing it to her. “Yes, you are. You just

answer. “Charlotte, eat.” He purses his lips for a moment then, “Charlotte. James would want you to

amount and puts it in her mouth. She chews

can’t go on like

corridor. He wavers, looking at Charlotte uncertainly, but Elizabeth says, “I’ll stay

nods, blinking hard, then follows me out to

going to stay the course like

job to

“And who’s supporting you?”

doesn’t reply, simply folding his arms

Change the subject….

when the ambulance crew were treating him, when the fibrillation failed, they asked you for permission

and

more about this than me. Why was

almost shuddering. “It’s unreliable. It can result in brain damage. All that business you see in the movies, adrenaline straight into the heart, it’s rubbish. A Hollywood myth. Adrenaline is

Jeez….

me in the eye. “…. it’s my

Christ….

“Does…. Charlotte know this?”

not said anything.

“No, of course not.”

What can I offer…?

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