Were you worrying I’d be angry?
Perhaps….
“Ah…. Yes, of course…. I’d become used to the luxury of not having to worry about that with you.” I give her a squeeze and a kiss. “Wait there. I’ll be right back.”
I head for the gents’ lavatories a couple of floors down, reflecting on how much I have taken for granted Charlotte’s contraception. Condoms are never exactly a lover’s delight and the knowledge that the woman I love is both intelligent and careful has been leading me astray.
It’s good to have a woman who doesn’t have to take her socks off to count to twenty-eight…
Shoving a couple of coins into the slot, I pocket my goods and return to find Charlotte sitting up, hugging her knees. The bed is large and her face unusually pale even for her. She looks lost, childlike, and not for the first time I reflect on the age difference between us.
Pulling the packet from my pocket, I wave it quickly by her for reassurance before placing it on the bedside table. “There are vending machines in the public bathrooms downstairs,” I explain.
She nods, but I see the movement of her throat as she swallows. Cupping her cheek in my hand, “You are alright?”
She raises a wan smile. “Yes, Master. I’m alright. Just very tired. You don’t have to keep asking.”
I pull the sheets back. Without meaning to, my gaze slides over her body, bruised and battered. Her skin, usually so pale and perfect is blotchy with brutal hues and half-healed welts. My gorge rising, I look away.
“Actually, I do. You might try to brush off what’s happened to you, but no-one gets into that condition without paying a price for it.”
She flushes and turns away….
I’ve embarrassed her….
…. but I pull her up into my embrace, holding her close…. “Shhh….” …. feeling her relax into me.
I seek her with my lips; a soft kiss on the mouth, light as wings. Then the line of her cheek and neck, where under the skin, her pulse beats steadily. Passively, she simply lets me make love to her, her breathing growing rough as her body melts for me.
My hand over one breast, I lean in to the other. Normally white and tipped in pale rose, it is marked by a sickly rainbow of colours. I can’t bear to look at it, and let my eyelids fall closed as I teethe at the nipple.
It isn’t perfect. I want my Jade, and I know she wants me, but neither of us is yet as we should be. My body is not yet responding, and hers is slow.
I undress, stripping myself naked, my cock lying quiescent as I slide between the sheets. But I want to make love to my Jade, with her, to make things as they should be between us. I kiss her again, harder, willing my body to reply as it should. I want to be inside her, to feel her sheath vise around me as I spill into her. I stroke her, running palm and fingers over skin and muscle blemished and injured.
Only now, having her close, does it drive home how afraid I was, desperate with hope and belief, and the fear of the loss of my Love. All the while she was gone, while we were waiting, hope was kindled and dashed, rekindled….
When Pandora opened her box of all the world’s ills, she did well to leave Hope until the last. Somehow, despair can be lived with, almost wallowed in, but Hope is a mind-killer.
forehead on hers, trying to calm my ragged
“Master? Are you alright?”
have to
…. She must understand….
we thought we’d lost you. That was a hard moment. You must
certain. “I won’t, Master. You have
Had to?
myself above her, I look down into
had to get Beth
Your friend….
else could have done
Her mouth works….
she can
“And?” I push.
me, “I couldn’t leave Richard like that. He loves her. And I
a moment to digest what she just said,
that for Richard? Not
“Well, it was sort-of for Beth, but
Oh, my God….
For Richard….
why she’s worrying
Keep your head….
when you say something like that? Do you have any other perceived ‘debts’ you
eyes are wide, anxiety lurking. “No, Master. I’ve said. You have my promise. I’ll not do anything else like that.
we might have…. You don’t break
Let it go….
kiss her beautiful face. “Lie
across fragrant skin again, but
Make it right….
what you did for good reason,” I say. “Sometimes life gives us only bad choices, and you had to
still
was, but not now. I’m proud of
Her eyes gloss. “Proud?”
“Yes, very proud.”