Love Me in the Dark

RIVER

I think I’m gonna be sick. I have to get out of here.

I bolted out of the penthouse. A cry of horror escaped my lips as I sprinted inside the elevator. I punched the L button with shaky fingers and slid my body against the wall as it brought me down. Once I reached the lobby, I ran towards my car and unlocked the door. I finally got inside, slammed the door shut, and revved the engine.

Through the rearview mirror, I watched Lake standing there until he vanished from my sight.

I couldn’t remember how I got off there safe and not getting into any kind of accident. I parked my car in front of my apartment building, and I had no idea what to do next. I cried over there for I didn’t know how long. I screamed out of frustration and heartache. I bellowed my stupidity until I had no tears left to cry.

When I calmed down a little bit, I took my phone and stared at the contact list. I couldn’t decide which one to call first— Journey, Krys, or Kai. Then I hit the one that I had not talked to in a long time.

He picked up right away as if he was waiting for someone’s call. “Hello?”

I shut my eyes close as I said hoarsely, “Hi, Dad. It’s me, River.”

“I know, honey. I happen only to have a daughter. I missed you so much, honey. When can I see you?”

“I’m coming home.”

“That’s wonderful news. I’ll text you the address. I can’t wait to see you, honey. It’s been more than four years, and I’ve been longing to have my daughter back.”

“I still know the address, Dad.” I laughed in between sobs.

“I don’t live there anymore.”

“What do you mean?” My eyes widened in horror. “What happened to your house?”

“We can talk about this when you’re here. I’ll text you the address.”

After three hours, I was standing at my dad’s new home. It was a two-story modern farmhouse. The old family car parked in front just confirmed that my father did live here.

I stood frozen when he walked out. I was torn between running and launching into him or running away instead. My eyes started to get blurry as he took a few steps and then stop merely an arm's length. My knees gave out.

“River,” that was all he said before he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.

“Dad.” I felt a sob working its way up my throat. My body shook as I wrapped my arms around him.

When we pulled apart, all I could do was stared at him in disbelief while he was smiling at me. He looked old, might have lost a few pounds, with graying hair at the sides of his head, but I still remembered the same face I left years ago.

“You look beautiful, honey. Just like your mom. I watched your videos, and I was so happy that you got to hold an instrument again.”

you. Can we

He wrapped an

furniture. I sat on one of the sofas. I noticed pictures of me, Mom,

“You live alone here?”

you something? Are you hungry?” He occupied the

What happened

“I sold it.”

again. I had to choke it down to continue

was expensive. I used all the savings I had, but it wasn’t

finally fell from my eyes. “Why didn’t you

cut me off, River. You also were not doing well with your last job. I don’t wanna

Dad, I’m still your daughter. Your family left. You could have just called me. I would be here in a heartbeat. You needed me, Dad. How did you get through all of that alone?” I started crying again.

few help, from

“Your bandmate?”

“Yeah.”

he’s

“Not financially.”

him. I held his hand tight, and I could feel the strong knot of guilt in my belly as I looked at his pale blue eyes.

alcoholic. I gave up trying to help him cope with his

stay away from each other’s for a while until

there’s this young man who

had a

Three years

almost shivered as I looked at Dad. “Who is

after you while I’m in the operating

shivered as I wiped my tears. Why did I feel I knew this young man he was talking about? “Is he—oh, god.” I wasn’t able to continue talking. I covered my

I’m in good health

at him, hoping he would give me a direct answer. “Dad,

he hid from me. Then he looked at me again. “I’d never

him four years ago? I pushed you out of my life when you came to me, and you

my life. Mr. Selik was an organ donor. Luckily, I was compatible, and his liver was as good as new. Koby was brought to the same hospital where I was admitted. He died on the operating table. His organs would only last for a few hours. I think things happen for a reason. We both meant to be there in that hospital at the same time. Krew visited me in my ward. He looked like he was carrying the world over his shoulders. I wasn’t aware they just brought his dad who had his second heart attack. Then he asked me if what’s my problem. When I told

“How about this house?”

I work in maintenance. Then I became

why did you not contact

through his

with you. I should have let someone help you, Dad, and not abandoning you. I was the shittiest daughter, and it won’t happen again.” I hugged him tightly. “I’m here now.