Love Began with the First Meeting novel Chapter 617

Spark's face turned white. He sat motionless for a while. Molly was right and he hadn't realized it until then. He couldn't deny that what she said was the truth rendered him unable to move on all these years but he thought that no one else knew or no one else would figure it out. "Mol..." he said, his lips quivering, and his voice shaking.

Noticing the look of hurt in Spark's eyes, Molly couldn't help but feel the pain in her eyes too. "Spark, I know you miss your mom very much. But you have to remember that she never wanted you to spend all these years sad and grieving. She would have wanted you to live your life happily. Don't you want to do that for her? She always wanted you and Harrow to reunite and be close like you were before. After all these years, you've seen him suffer the consequences of his actions and not just once, Spark, he has already suffered enough just like you have. And deep down in your heart, I know you, Spark, you know that it wasn't Harrow's fault at all," she said. There was a tang of sadness in her voice as she continued, "Harrow is your brother and no matter what happened between you too, you can't change that. Please understand him and try to forgive him, please?" she pleaded.

His heart twisted. He just sat there unmoving, his mind trying to process all the emotions he was feeling: pain, hate, longing, sadness, all that he felt for Harrow. He remembered how Harrow had persisted to visit him ever since he had fallen ill despite his unforgiving frigidness. All these years, Spark had hated on and blamed Harrow for everything even though he knew in his heart that it wasn't Harrow's fault. Perhaps, it wasn't Harrow that he hated but just his last name that he resented so much.

"Spark, the past is gone, there's nothing we can do about it anymore. Don't dwell on it, don't waste any more energy on it," she said staring squarely into his eyes, "That includes me too, Spark. You have such a bright future ahead. Nothing is worth compromising that or damaging that. You have to let go and move on and you have to be strong to keep yourself from drowning into your sadness. Just look ahead and move on," she said encouragingly.

Spark furrowed his brows. Meanwhile, Molly could sense the self-mockery on Spark's face. Then he spoke in a gradual and almost inaudible voice, "Mol, you know very well that love is selfish. Love doesn't tolerate anything but itself. As long as the heart wills it so then there's nothing that can be done about it. And I think it goes the same for anger or hate, you can't just easily forgive someone in the snap of a finger or let go of anger in the blink of an eye." His eyes were so dim that it was as if a total darkness had shrouded over him. He realized that no matter how hard they tried to deliberately ignore the tension in the room, there was actually no way to avoid it. One way or another, they would always go back to it as if they were drawn to it like a firefly to a lamp. He lifted his head to meet her eyes which were bright in wonder. He continued, "Just like you and Brian, you hate him but you love him too. It doesn't matter what happened in the past five years since you first met him until just recently when you got back together. So, I guess, the only thing that hasn't changed no matter how much you've been through is the love that you have for Brian. That hasn't changed one bit, hasn't it? Because you love him, that's what your heart wills and you can't tell your heart otherwise no matter how harshly he treats you sometimes. This is the only thing we have in common, Molly. So you should know what I'm feeling it right now," his voice was so firm like he really believed in what he was saying. Molly realized how alike they were with how fate had played them both.

Molly shifted her glance sideways not knowing how to respond to what he had just said. Her mind was stuck on her relationship with Brian. Maybe Spark was right. She loves him and she hates him. But she still believed that nothing was final, and everything would always change. "No you're wrong," she said after a short pause. She averted his gaze by looking at her cup of milk tea on their table. "It doesn't matter if I love him or not. Love is important, that's true but it should never be the thing that defines your life. What's important are facts and truths. And as Brian calls it, it was our fate to be together whether he loves me or not." Molly smiled but there was a blank look on her face. She could feel tears building up in her eyes but she controlled them not wanting to show weakness any longer. She thought of Brian and everything else that led up to being separated from Mark. Suddenly, she was overcome with emotion as she thought about Mark who was far away. She wanted to cry and tell Spark about everything but she just sat there wordlessly, biting her lower lip, and gripping tightly on her cup. She just needed a couple of minutes to calm herself down. She just needed to remind herself that how lucky she was to have Shirley take care of Mark and how she trusted her so much that she didn't even know if she could take care of Mark as well as Shirley did. "Spark, you and I weren't meant to be together," she said after a pause. As for her love and relationship with Brian, she didn't have the energy to even think about it anymore after all those years of going back and forth.

Spark's heart ached at this. Even though he'd heard these words countless times before, he still felt like he was being stabbed every time he heard it. Ironically enough, it just made him more determined more than ever. "I know. But that doesn't mean I'm going to give up on you, ever," he said with a tone of finality. "Mol, if you love Brian, that's fine, you go ahead and be with him. But me? I'll just always be behind you every step of the way if you ever need someone to talk to or comfort you," he said, gazing into her eyes.

Molly recoiled at this. She didn't expect him to still be so determined. She gazed back at him for a moment, feeling wretched. She felt helpless as she looked at Spark who used to be so full of life and now, because of her, he had lost all his spirit. She hated this almost as much as she hated herself for it. "What can I do to make you give up?" she cried.

"If it starts to harm you, then I will give up," he said, his lips quivering and his eyes dimming.

"And if I beg you?" she retorted. She sensed him stiffen at her words.

"Then I'll get hurt," he said sarcastically, "because I haven't seen you happy," he added.

"Why are you being so stubborn?" she cried.

A dark look hovered over his face then suddenly, he burst out laughing, "Stubborn? Are you kidding me? If you can keep yourself from loving someone, then that isn't love at all," he argued.

Molly flinched, unsure how she should continue. It felt like no use because he wouldn't listen anyway. Maybe, deep inside, Molly knew she was being a hypocrite as they were just both waiting on something that would never happen. Her mind was snowed under pity and sadness for both her and Spark. "Okay, you have a point," she murmured unconsciously looking down her finger that used to wear Brian's ring. She recalled how she had taken it off the day before and she felt surprisingly upset because she missed seeing that ring on her finger.

"It's getting late, let's get you home," Spark offered as he looked out the window.