Love Aint Always Pretty

Perpetuity

- the state of continuing forever or for a very long time

95

NICK'S POV

At first, I never actually believed in happy endings that it exist because based from my past, I thought my happy ending ended when Catherine died. I shut myself out from people and never have opened myself to anyone except my sister and Alec. Sometimes I shut my sister and Alec too. I knew from the very beginning that reality and fantasy are two different things.

But as I stand in the doorway of our bedroom and watch Savannah sleep, I knew my happy ending is already happening. She doesn't know I do this, but I do it every morning because she's the reason why I start my day, no matter how busy I am in the office.

It wasn't the first incident that I've done this, the first time was the morning that I first met her. I couldn't remember much from that night before because I was wasted as hell but the only thing I actually remembered was her and how I was lying on the floor of Tracy's dorm room, and Savannah was stroking my hair, telling me her name wasn't Catherine that it was Sa-van-nah. It's funny right now as I remember it, I guess it wasn't that funny that night cos I was really drunk.

When I woke up the following morning in Tracy's room, for some unknown reason, I honestly couldn't get her out of my head.

I thought she was just a dream until I saw her sleeping on top of her side of the bed. I watched her sleep for a while. I watched as her chest goes up and down as she breathes. I watched every corner of her body. I watched her eagerly that I was afraid of what I felt that moment, because the first time I laid my eyes on her was something I never felt when I first laid my eyes on Catherine. It scared me to death because as I stood on the side of her bed, she brought back so many feelings that had been foreign to me over the past eight years.

It frightened me that's why I didn't invite her to the frat party that night but still she showed up so beautifully wearing such simple outfit.

I always thought she looked like an angel, so beautiful and simple.

The second Savannah opened her eyes and looked at me, I knew she was going to be the one who'll bring me back to life but the only thing that was the problem to me was I didn't want to be brought back to life since I was comfortable protecting myself from experiencing what I experienced in the past. I'm frightened I might go through it again and I've tried to control my feelings that I was experiencing towards Savannah that day. But I couldn't control them if I'd wanted to. I know because I tried like hell. I tried so hard but I still failed.

When I finally kissed her at my old house back in town, I knew from that moment that I wanted much more than just kissing her. I wanted her mouth, her tongue, her hands, her body, her mind and the only reason stopping me was that I felt I was also wanting her heart. I was also wanting her love. I was also wanting her to feel what I was feeling and I was scared by it.

I was the best at lying to myself and convincing that I was strong enough to have her physically because I didn't want to her hurt again and I was sure as hell that I didn't want to hurt Savannah too.

I did anyways.

A lot of times.

More than once, even.

Now I plan to spend my lifetime making it up to her for what I've done. And when I think about how many times I've left her before, I guess I was pretty terrible for doing that without telling her after making love to her.

I think love is the biggest and strongest word there is in life. When you fall in love, you learn to forgive and forget all the mistakes they've done, you learn to put others first, you learn to make friends with the people you don't really like because they're related to your significant other and you learn to make sacrifices for yourself and for other people, heck you even learn to shut yourself out from people and push people away but then eventually you'll cave in to the feelings because it's stronger than what you think. So I guess, love is a big word.

Love...

I never actually thought love could find a way to me and Savannah.

I sit on the edge of the bed and I think she felt the bed shift because she opens her but not all the way. She pulls the bed covers over her head and rolls over.

"Wake up sleepyhead. We've got a plane to catch." I say.

"Hmmm..." she hums.

"Lissa is already whining downstairs. Come on babe. Let's go." I continued.

We've been together for over a year now still not married yet, and it's still difficult for me to wake her up early in the morning because she wasn't always a morning person.

"Savannah... wake up." I kiss the area of the blanket covering her ear.

She doesn't move nor answer me but she was groaning. I pulled the covers and slide in behind her, wrapping myself around her. Then her groan started becoming a soft moan.

"Babe..."

No answer.

"Babe c'mon we have a plane to catch."

That gets her attention cos she rolls over cautiously and pulls the covers from over our heads.

"What the hell do you mean we have a plane to catch?" She asked.

I grinned.

"Nick?" She asked.

gets cuts off because I wake her

Don't worry about your luggage, I already told the maids to

as she gazes at the clock behind me. "It's

I nodded and smiled.

how rare it is for me to have an entire day off

quick kiss. "It will be if you're punctual. I forgot

smiles. "Good morning." She kisses me back really

the mattress several times with the

of our bed." I began to sing this One Direction song that Lissa had been listening to every single day

her. "I guess Lissa had been influencing you

I smile at her.

not mad at me right

irritated with you when you're this giddy,

The door quickly opens.

awake?" Lissa

was hard to wake her up but I did it." I winked at

daddy. Come on mom! Take

laugh and Savannah

heard the boss." I tell

up. I'm going to take a shower." Savannah stands and walks closer

morning

to kiss Savannah's cheek continuously and the both giggled. Savannah have a peck on Lissa's forehead

to

"Why don't you go take a bath

the rush?" She smiles and kissed my cheek. "But since I

her as she

you too." I yelled

daddy." Lissa

"Yes sweetheart?"

ready?"

thumb up. "Everything is set. Don't be too

Lissa nods happily.

•••••

two stewards and three stewardesses welcomed us with a smile. I take a look outside the window and good thing the sun still hasn't showed up. No ray of sunlight hasn't even broken through the clouds just yet, and there's not very much to see at this point but Lissa kept gazing outside. She's really excited.

looking

her mommy buckles

minute now. The captain's door

me, watching me eagerly with her beautiful appreciative smile spread across her lips. "You okay sitting next to

My heart is pounding and I'm sort of

at

begins to move forward, Lissa was observing every move of the plane while me and Savannah were smiling at each

know why we took

glances over her shoulder to look at Lissa who's so focused looking at the 4AM clouds, and

I wanted them to see.

her eyes are curious

sunrise from up here and then I remembered you." I

"Me?" Savannah asked.

nod, "You always loved watching sunrise and sunsets together. So I promised myself to bring you with me next time.

it beautiful daddy?" Lissa

her, "It's not something that I can describe myself, baby." I point out of

think you just have to experience it for yourself to see." I

the window. Lissa unbuckled her seatbelt and rushed to Savannah's lap, her tiny palms pressed against the glass, and for five minutes straight, the two of them didn't move a muscle. They watched it the entire time together, Lissa would point out of the

also looked outside of their windows and had

possible but I fall even more in love with her in

back and faced me. Her eyes are filled with little tears, and she doesn't speak a word. She just reaches for my hand and I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt and transferred to the seat next to her then holds her hand

says against my

kissed her back while Lissa's attention

you too

•••••

moving and I quickly knew that we just