Love Aint Always Pretty novel Chapter 49

Lítost

- regret and remorse and repentance; a state of agony and torment; or sorrow said to be "created by the sudden sight of one's own misery"

Origin: Czech

49

I just glued my eyes at his name while it was appearing on my screen. I didn't answer his call. I couldn't answer his call. I don't want to answer his call then it went off. My heart feels heavy.

Why on earth is he still calling? Will he want to ask about what he saw? Will he ask about my kiss with Aries? Why would he act like he care when he knows he shouldn't act this way?

My phone rings again.

Nick calling...

I answer it.

He exhales. "Where did you go?"

I walked out of the elevator and walked to my dorm. I entered the room and I still didn't answer Nick. He's waiting for my answer too. Tracy wasn't around, I'm sure she's with Clyde. I leaned my back against the door and I feel my heart beating faster.

"Where in hell did you go with Aries, Savannah?" He asked again. He sounds mad at me.

I exhale. "Why do you act like you're concerned about where I went to with Aries? I can go anywhere with any guy I want Nick. I don't need your permission."

I hang up.

My phone rings again.

Damn it Nick!

Nick calling...

I rejected his call but then my phone rings once again just in a split second.

Nick calling...

I answered it. "What do you want from me? I need to sleep Nick!"

"Open your goddamn door Savannah."

My brows creasing.

"Open your fucking door!" He demands while there was a slam on my door that made me flinch.

I exhale. He's outside.

I turned to face the door and took a deep breath in before I opened it. He's here. He's really right outside my room. I hang up on him and he barged his way inside.

"Didn't you leave already?" I asked as my eyebrow arching.

"I came back. I need to talk to you about what I saw." He says.

I looked away. He really saw it. He really saw me kissing Aries. Good. He saw it. I wanted Nick to see it too, cos it'll make me realize if he actually cared or not. If it actually make him jealous or not.

"Where did you go with him?" He asks. Sounded as if he's demanding an answer from me.

My head moves back to Nick and he's looking at me angrily as if I did something really unforgivable. His eyes are piercing into me and he's actually mad. I know he is. It wasn't the same face he had when he saw me with Dustin. His brows are furrowing and his jaw is clenched.

"Answer me." He says.

"I don't have to explain anything to you. You don't have the right to know where I went to with Aries." I defended myself.

"Oh really? So you mean to say I can also fuck any woman I want cos you're also doing the same thing?"

I crossed my arms together against my breasts. "Go. Be free. Fuck a lot of women as much as you want to. I won't tell you to stop."

"You know I can't do that cos I only want you." He says.

My heart is melting. Don't give in Savannah. You're stronger than this.

"Why can't you just admit to yourself that you're fucking jealous?! You get freaking jealous when I'm with another man. You're jealous when you see me with someone else. You get jealous but you don't admit it to yourself!" I yelled at him.

"Okay maybe I am! Maybe I am jealous cos you kissed Aries! Now where did you go?!" His voice rising.

"You don't have the right to know Nick. You and I are not in a commitment." I say.

He laughs humorlessly.

"Did you go fuck?" He asked bluntly.

My eyes widened.

"Did he fuck you good? Was he better when he ate you? Was he bigger than I am? Did he make you scream? Did--"

I pulled my hand up and palm landed on his cheek. I slapped Nick. I slapped him hard. My tears are brimming out from my eyes and it falls down on my cheeks. His face looking over to another direction and his jaws dropped.

"You fucking think I'm that kind of woman?! You think I could go around sleep with other men?!" I asked him.

He gulps and looks at me as if he was sorry. His eyes are rueful. His eyes looked angry a while ago and now they look soft. He licks his lips and looks confused as hell. I think he just realized what he just said to me. He just realized that he said too much.

"We may not be together, we may not be in a relationship and we may not have a label, but Nick I've never had sex with another man aside from you! How can you think of me that way?!" I yelled at him.

My tears are falling more. He's crumpling my heart. He's hurting me and it's too much already. I always say it's too much but right now it is ready too much that I can't seem to handle it. It's out of hand.

He reaches for me but I pull myself away from him. "Don't you dare think about touching me." I spit.

"I'm sorry. It just came out. I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm really sorry."

"Get out." I say as I looked away.

"Savannah please."

"Get the fuck out!" I yelled at him.

I don't care if other students were hearing us fight but I wanted him to leave. I'm hurt. I've never imagined he could tell me that. I never imagined he could say that to me so straight into my face. I never thought he could think of me like that.

I motioned to the door and my jaw dropped when I saw Tracy standing by the doorway. Nick was shocked too. We didn't notice the door opening. We didn't notice that someone came in. She looked at us confused and troubled. I wonder how long she has been standing there. I wonder what were the things she heard.

"How long did... You two..." Tracy seemed surprised like us.

Tracy laughs humorlessly but I know she couldn't believe the things she heard.

"You two have been fucking each other around behind our backs? Behind me?! Savannah I thought you trust me?! Why didn't you even tell me anything about this?!" Tracy's voice raising too.

"I'm sorry." I say.

"Yeah save it. I told you to stay away from Nick cos he'll only hurt you. But you didn't listen. Now how long has this thing been going on?" Tracy asks.

I closed my eyes.

"Don't answer that Savannah." Nick says.

"Are you at least going to court her Nick?" She asked him.