Love Aint Always Pretty

Kalopsia

- the delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are

Origin: Greek

47

SAVANNAH'S POV

I was sitting down inside a coffee shop, rewriting my 500-word essay for this Friday. I have been here for almost an hour now and I'm still not halfway through. My neck is already hurting and my wrist is starting to hurt as well. I take a sip from my frappe and it's already four in the afternoon.

"Savannah. Good to see you here."

I pulled my head up and it was Alec. He walks closer to my table. I haven't seen or talked to him after that night when I eavesdropped his conversation with Nick. I have tried to ignore him too cos I'm ashamed of myself. He knows the thing I have with Nick.

"Can I share a table?" He asked.

I just stared at him and he says, "Don't worry I'm alone."

I nod.

Alec pulls out the chair across me and sat down with a smile. "How are you?"

"Fine. Thanks." I answered.

He takes a sip from his coffee and neither of us tried to talk anymore. I continued writing on my essay.

"About that night Savannah." He says.

I slightly pulled my head up to him.

"I know you've heard everything and I feel bad about it." He says.

I bite my lip.

"I don't know why Nick is treating you this way. You clearly don't deserve this kind of... Brokenness and ugliness." He added.

I exhale and put my pen back down. I stare at him and he looked totally sorry about what he said that night though he didn't really say anything bad against me.

"I'm just too embarrassed now that you know I'm only screwing Nick and he's doing the same thing." I say softly.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most college students are stuck on being just friends with benefits. The only difference is, you're in love. I know you love him Savannah. That night when I saw those tears on your face, I know you wanted more from what Nick is giving you but--"

"But he can't give me what I need." I continue his sentence for him.

I looked away and hear Alec exhaling heavily. "I wouldn't ask those things if I knew you were there."

I smirked and said, "I wouldn't know his answers if you knew I was there."

"But are you okay with this set up with Nick? You know you're going to hurt yourself if you keep on doing this."

I exhale heavily, as if I'm having a hard time to breathe.

"I want to continue with whatever I have with Nick.... Even though it's hurting me."

I look back at Alec while he looks at me. He pity me. I could see from his eyes. He knows too well that Nick won't love me. He knows him too well and that look on his eyes is breaking me.

"Why do you want this?" He asked.

"I'm a fool for him, Alec." I say.

His brows are creasing.

it hurts. This will end someday and before it'll end

"If you give him more time I know he'll realize

laugh humorlessly. "I think that's never gonna

on with this kind of

he could change. He could change for

already a dear friend to me and trust me when I say Nick's heart is already sealed long ago. It's already as hard as

down and wiped it away before it could fall down

love again but still here I am hoping that he will. That he could." My voice is

I need. I need to tell someone other than Nick about this thing that's going on between me and him cos this is so unhealthy to the

can realize it before it's too late cos you're an amazing woman Savannah. It'll be Nick's loss."

wiped my tears and he's still looking at me. It's nice to hear at coming from Nick's best friend, he knows it's Nick's loss. I hope I'm a loss

Nick less seriously?

"I'm trying."

with another guy....who

"No guy likes

Aries talks about when

"What?"

eyes widened. "Shit. Don't tell him I said

laugh softly. "Aries is

from

"He's not?" I asked.

with different women every night before but after that night when you first came at the frat party, he tried his best to stay away

I paused.

known playboy but every time a

who's side you're on right now. Are you taking Nick's side or

He laughs. "No one's."

I exhale.

yourself too unavailable to other men cos of

I smiled at myself.

is my best friend but you deserve to be loved the way you should be. You're a beautiful woman, Savannah. A lot of men could be after you and you just don't know it cos you're too focused

know he is right. I'm setting myself too closed around Nick. Alec is right, I shouldn't be taking

"Thanks Alec." I say.

nods. "And don't worry, your secret with Nick is

I smiled.

•••••

looking for some errors and misspelled words. Tracy went out with Clyde as always and I'm always the one left here. I put down my paper to my side table drawer and pulled myself up from the bed.

I'm entertaining other

came by

A voice

sigh. It's

Perhaps it was a mail? I reached for the knob

"Hi angel." He says.

I smiled back. "Hey."

paper bag and showed me. "Alec said you were a bit sad today so I thought I could

chuckled. "I hope there's foods in

and some rolls. I hope you

love it. Come in Aries." I

way closer to him. He starts pulling out the foods and everything looks deliciously cute. Aries started opening

at this." He says while holding the

worry

but he ends up dropping his foods back

is really good." I

from my

my favorite too." I smile. "Pass up the ice cream please."

still ice cream. It's still tasty. I'm glad Aries is here to company me, I've been kind of a loner lately since Tracy has been busy with her researching and I've had to do other stuff related to school too. Nick is gone again. I don't know where

doesn't tell me

way, I didn't know your name