The beeping sound, bright lights and unmistakable smell is more than enough to tell me where I am. The emptiness in my stomach is the icing on the cake.

Brown eyes, and that deep Southern twang filters in my mind, welcomed. My cousin Kylie is always a welcome.

What had me not opening my eyes and rethinking my rushed flight to survive decision is the intense, ice man with frozen blue shards that colored his irises. His sculpted face was always sharp around the edges.

And I remember him growing up, when he looked at me, it was with nothing so much as a brief second of irritation. Some things never change, and Kevin Stone is one of them.

“I know you up,” The voice that says that is unfamiliar, but I flutter my eyes open and directly across from me stands a woman with dark long brown hair, a white coat that covers what looks like a bump.

“6 months. But I wish I was in your place right about now. The suspense is killing me.” She smiles as she lifts the iPad to her vision, jotting down notes.

The urge to tell her she didn't want to be me is a string that wants to come out, but I bite my tongue. A few days ago I wouldn't have been able to shut my mouth, let alone bite my tongue.

“My baby?” I ask, hesitant and scared. Did my baby survive?

me. I follow her gaze and in a small cubicle wrapped in a blue blanket is my boy. My heart drops with

him to me; I take my baby in my arms and look down

he loved me, anyway. When I called him nine months ago to tell him I was pregnant and I didn't want my baby he said, I will. He told I will love my baby regardless of anything because my momma loved me, regardless and he loved

eyes well up as I look into his close

is bursting. I lift his small body to my nose and inhale

my eyes go wide. I look at Frost, and she smiles putting her magazine down, and then

through fully after a day or two.” I lift my top to give him milk, aware that Kevin is in the room. How can I not be

but hard suction. I am in awe at his little mouth and cheeks suctioning the milk from my body. Tiny fingers peak out from the

feed himself from my body as it hits me with full force that this little

love and a deep-rooted need to protect him from everyone sails over me. Hide him away so no one would make him

was pregnant I was

was pregnant, he wasn’t happy, so I made an informed decision and

baby at someone’s

is, and I know I’m not

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