In My Desperate Time

For the first time, I take Frances Louis' hand and walk out of NewFun with him. His car is parked on the right side of the door. It is the car that he drove when I first met him. How could I be so blind that don’t see it when I came in?

Being blew by the wind outdoor makes me sober. Suddenly I regret choosing to leave with Frances Louis, am I courting death?

Frances Louis pulls me into the car, but doesn’t start it. Some of those people, standing at the door of NewFun, are still looking at us, unwilling to give up.

“Don’t try to do anything to me. I won't allow you to do it.” I define my position seriously.

Probably Frances Louis thinks I look funny by talking like this. He fumbles out a cigarette and light it. I watch his movements with a kind of ecstasy.

I choke on his words and heard him continuing saying, “I, Frances Louis, will never take a girl’s advantage.”

“Don’t feel embarrassed to say it? Last time, in the hotel…”

but feel shame to say more.

Frances Louis understands what I am trying to say immediately, but he just shakes his head and

Didn’t touch me? How could

are so weak. How could I be like that if I haven’t had sex with him?

to see through what I am thinking. He looks significantly at his right hand and

Hand?

his hand that night, just like that day

whether to be happy or sad. That night, I was seductive under the influence

true that I can't get men interested? Or does he,

am suddenly frightened by my thoughts. I look at Frances

you can try it by yourself. It’s not late

words is obvious that he wants me to be his mistress.