I Am The Luna (Moonlight Muse) novel Chapter 35

I Am The Luna by Moonlight Muse Chapter 35

A Dinner 

ZAIA.  “I love this place,” Atticus says as he sits back as the waitress walks away after taking our orders. We are in a dimly lit, stunning restaurant that serves a variety of cuisines; the booths are covered with lush green velvet and the woodwork is all a deep mahogany.

Chandeliers hang above each table and we both head to the back into one of the semi- permanent booths which are covered from three sides.

I nod, glancing around before I lean back against the lush seats. “We do come here often,” I say, adjusting the strap to my dark blue dress.

He nods, watching me. His eyes soften, and I feel his eyes skim over me. “You look beautiful tonight, but when don’t you?”

I look up at him, my heart skipping a beat as tension falls between us.

“Thanks.” Today is the first time we’re meeting properly alone since the proposal. I am so lost in my own thoughts and what I am going to ask him tonight that I forgot that part.

“We do come here often.” He says, clearing his throat. “Yet I still never succeed in wooing you.” I smile. That is one of Atticus’s talents. He can lighten the mood easily.

Tilting my head, I raise an eyebrow. “Are you certain you’re in your late twenties? Because I think you might be younger than me with the things you say.” I tease. ” Wooing? Who uses that word?”

“I do.” He says, smiling slightly. There’s a sadness in his eyes but although I feel sorry for him, there is nothing I can offer him. I don’t feel the attraction that he does for me.

Sebastian… is someone who causes a storm inside of me, even when I thought I was done with him. Deep down, I know I still have feelings for him.

Even if our relationship is beyond repair, I can’t help the trouble that settles in my  mind. “Sebastian, I have a question for you.” I begin slowly. “Will you promise to tell me the truth?”

I look across at him, only to realise he’s staring at me, a frown on his face as if he’s seen a ghost or something. “What?” I ask.

“You called me Sebastian…” He says looking down. My heart skips a beat. Did I? “I… Sorry, it could possibly be because of everything going on.” I say, trying to cover my tracks.

He cocks a brow.

“Oh? And what exactly is going on?” He’s annoyed, that much I can see, and I’m relieved when the waitress puts the two glasses on the table and pours us both a glass of wine before she leaves.

“I found out that my friend from my previous pack is in a coma. I spoke to Jai, Sebastian King’s previous Beta, and I guess it’s what he said that makes me think about everything that happened between Sebastian and me.” I push a strand of my hair behind my ear. “I see, Jai O’Dell, correct?”

I nod.

“Did you speak to him or Jai?” “Jai, I just told you, Jai reached out to me, actually regarding my friend,” I say, his reaction surprising me.

“Which friend is this?” He asks. “She came to the New years’ eve party, Valerie Scott. She’s a doctor. She’s been in a coma for the last three years.” I say quietly, taking a sip of my champagne. He frowns, but there’s nothing on his face that gives away he knows, but it’s been a while…

When I spoke to Jai earlier, he said to make sure I made it out that he had told me and that he had been the one that reached out to me, asking if I wanted to say goodbye to her. “I see. I’m sorry about that,” he says, picking up his glass.

I nod. “Yeah, it happened to her that night she came to the ball. On New years when they returned from your pack, she was found at her apartment with the head injury.” I explain. Just the thought sends shivers down my spine.

He’s about to reply when the waitress is back carrying a large tray and begins to place the plates on the table in front of us. Once she’s gone, he sighs.

“I’m sorry, I never knew.” He says, shaking his head.

“I wouldn’t have expected you to know… only Jai told me that Sebastian went to your pack a week later to tell me, and apparently, I turned him away,” I say, trying to remain calm despite the surge of emotions that course through me.

My heart is racing as I watch him, I hear the quickening of his heartbeat, the way he swallows but not once does his facial expression change, but the signs are there…

he knows…

“He told you to tell me that Valerie was attacked and is in a coma, and to come visit her… correct?” I ask, saying these words out loud leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I’ve lost my appetite and knowing that he remembers and seeing the guilt he’s trying to hide… I know my reaction all depends on his next words…

He frowns and shakes his head. “Look… he came, but I was under the impression you didn’t want to talk to him. You had left by then and I wanted to help you, hence why I didn’t tell him that you were no longer there.” He begins quietly.

“Was it that, or did you want him to continue to think my children were yours and that we were a couple?” I ask quietly. There’s a flicker of unease in his eyes, and I frown.

“I can’t really remember. It’s been three. years, and I don’t think he specifically told me anyone was in a coma. He simply said he had something important to say.”

I’m not liking where this is going…

I know Sebastian, he’s an idiot… but I don’t think he’d lie…

No, I know he wouldn’t lie.

“And in the last three years, you didn’t think to tell me? You didn’t think I had a right to know, and he definitely told you she was attacked. Perhaps you didn’t hear or weren’t listening, but not once did I ask you to do any of that.” I say quietly, feeling far more emotional than I should have.

“I’m sorry, Zaia, I didn’t mean to upset you. Maybe a part of me didn’t want him to win back your good graces. Is it wrong to be selfish?” He asks, reaching over the table for my hand.

I quickly move it away, but right now I don’t want him to play this off. There’s hurt in his eyes, and I look away for a moment before looking him in the eye again.

“You have done a lot for me Atticus, a lot… and I know when I first went to your pack, I lied about who I was, and you did and said some things that I didn’t approve of. But I thought we started afresh after everything that happened. I have never hidden anything or lied to you about anything after that, but you broke my trust, Atticus.”

“Zaia, I fucked up, and I’m really sorry. I don’t want to lose you.” He says, “As friends or whatever, I know I said things and did things I shouldn’t have, but I’ve fallen crazily in love with you, Red, please don’t shut me out.”

I look into his eyes and sigh. I can’t do that. No matter how upset I am, I am unable to be so ruthless.

“I won’t, Atticus, but I am upset, and I wanted you to know that,” I say. He nods. “Thank you… and I do get it. It won’t happen again.” He says.

I nod an we fall silent as I try to focus on my plate, quickly picking up my fork and knife. “So, your friend who is in the coma, is she alright? I mean, what are the chances she’ll wake up? And how did she get attacked?” He asks.

“We don’t know,” I reply quietly, taking a bite of my steak. But we will find out…

“Ah…”

I look up at him, knowing that if we are going to continue, there’s something I have to clarify with him right now. “There is one condition that I want in place for us to continue our friendship,” I say quietly.

“And what is that?” He asks. “You need to realise we can never be. You need to find someone else to love. Someone who can return those feelings. You, your pack and your family deserve that. Deserve a Luna who will treat you well.”

“Zaia, please don’t ask me-”

“Atticus! Please.” I say in an urgent whisper as I glance around, not wanting to cause a scene. Our eyes meet and I give him an apologetic look. “I am sorry, but I am not your Luna and I never will be.”