Her Volkovs #Book 4

Belle's POV

I am just overreacting. It is not what I think it is. It was just me who assumed that the preparations were for me. It is my fault that I did not even ask. There's no one else to blame because I did this to myself.

Sure it's my birthday but I would have spared myself from this awful feeling in my heart if only I did not assume that today is my day. It's Yelena's death anniversary, perhaps the most important person in Nikolai's and Alexei's lives. Today was the day that they have lost her. Until now, they still blame themselves for what happened to her. It would be so selfish of me to think about my birthday if the two most important persons in my life are grieving.

And if in truth they forgot about my birthday, it's okay. I should not feel bad about it. They have a lot of things going on for them. The least I can do is support them, right?

I had to let Alexei have a moment with her. He's been looking at her picture for a while now and I know I have to give him his space. I can't even start to think of the pain of losing someone you love. I could not even imagine myself if Nikolai or Alexei are taken away from me like what happened to Matushka, Papa Vyacheslav and Papa Viktor.

The service had been short but solemn. Nikolai was able to make a memorial for his sister which I did not understand anyway because it was in Russian. And to be honest, I did not want to hear any of it nor look at Nikolai as he did it. I resent myself for feeling like this.

I remained in my seat as the pain in my abdomen started again. I had to make short silent breaths as I did not want Boris or Dmitri to notice me. I know they will tell their Bosses and I do not want to deprive them of this day. I don't want to come between them and Yelena.

"Madame? Are you okay?" Said Dmitri, sitting beside me and looking at my hand on my abdomen. He looks at me all puzzled and worried. Well so much for not being noticed.

"Yes. Of course Dimi."

"You look pale." He added.

Wow, he even notices the color of my face even though I'm wearing light makeup. Do I really look this sickly?

"I have not seen the sun for quite a while now so-" I replied.

"Come, let's get you outside." He said, holding my hand as he practically leaves me no choice but to go with him.

Somehow, I felt a little better the moment the soft heat of the afternoon sun touched my face. There's this sense of peace as the light peeks through the leaves of the trees surrounding the church. He walked me to the bench to sit down. I then took the chance to ask one of the questions that have been bugging my mind.

"Dimi, what does Malyshka mean?"

Dmitri looked over his shoulder to meet me in the eye as if wondering how or where I encountered the term.

"It means baby, you know like baby girl." He answered.

So malyshka means baby. The same word Nikolai calls me.

-

After the service, there was a gathering in the mansion. Nikolai and Alexei asked if they could leave after dinner. I inquired where to, but at the back of my mind, I already have an idea.

They were going to Yelena and the Pa's graves. I wanted to come with them to make them feel that I do understand and support them, but I felt like I wasn't even welcome. It was subtle and well-meaning and yet it was the plain and simple truth. They want to be with her, without me.

I offered them the best smile I could give at that moment. The same exact moment that I realized that indeed, they did not know or remember that today is also my birthday.

My mind tells me that I should be more patient with them but my heart feels otherwise. It's taking all the pain that I have been facing and I do not know until when it could withstand every single hit that's coming its way.

I was deep in my thoughts when my phone rang. I was expecting Amy to check up on me, perhaps curious as to what my husbands have for me on my birthday. And I dread the moment I had to lie to her just so she won't feel bad for me. But then, when I saw my phone, I had a sigh of relief.

It's an incoming video call. I'm already in bed wearing my nightgown while the man on the other side still looks like he's going on a business meeting.

"Oh wow." He said. I already understood why he had this reaction. I instantly covered my breasts as they are shamelessly peeking through like they also want to greet him with glee.

"Artan, don't be a creep."

He just chuckles and then placed his cigar to the side. He sat back and smoothly crossed his leg over the other. His slightly scruffy face really suits his personality. Seeing him, for some reason reminded me of his scent. Mix of cigar, scotch, and a hint of cologne. It's weird but it feels like he's just beside me at the moment.

"Happy birthday baby." He said so longingly, his words felt like a warm embrace.

"I sent something for you this morning. It's at Dylan's house. I did not send it over at Volkov's because he's an asshole and there is a big chance it will not reach you."

I almost burst out crying. Someone close to me, other than my best friend, actually remembers my birthday.

I quickly ended the call because my stupid tears were threatening to fall. I do not want anyone to know that I am miserable on my own birthday-- that I feel alone even if I am surrounded by people who are dear to me.

Knowing Artan however, he kept on ringing my phone and so I did not have a choice but to answer him.

"What is wrong baby? Tell me?"

"I'm-- I'm okay Artan."

What happened? It's your birthday you should be the happiest person in the world today. Why are you

my pregnancy hormones Artan.

better have

Artan, listen I'm fine. Please please! I will see you tomorrow. Okay? At Dylan's. I will see

Alexei are not here. The Russians

protective of me even when I'm already married to Nikolai and Alexei. He's been there, albeit creepily, whenever I needed him even if that means facing perhaps one of the most formidable opponents of them all, Nikolai. He has never faltered in

-

Artan

slinging the gun on his back)

from their

Where are we

To the Volkov mansion, and

think that's a

I did not ask for your opinion

a choice but to give the key to Artan. They all watched him sped away in

It's Volkov's wife. He's going to see her I

truce between us and

do not understand why the Boss would not quit it. He can have any pussy he wants but still

My man, have you not been in love

empire, has huge stakes in the conglomerate and has the money we could all just wish for and yet he turns his back from all of

had unreserved access to her and she-well she

Alba was obviously eyeing her too but he was not

should be there for him. Let's go.

-

Belle's POV

me to the gate of our property. I would walk if I can but given the sporadic pain that I am feeling in my abdomen, I could not risk it. It's almost a couple of hundred yards from the mansion to our gated entrance and running so I can go there first before Artan does, is

to take someone with me so as not to alert suspicion from our security details. I just found the right one when I went to the gazebo where the dinner is happening. She's had a few drinks but I think

her about my birthday because I know she will eventually tell her sons about it. My plan is to not make a big fuss about them forgetting about

don't understand how women are when pregnant. They think that something is going on, especially if the man cares for you, you know just like Artan. You said when he called you he thought that

moment now please." I said almost begging. I can just imagine the man driving his sports car just to get here

as she dials her

the best person to confide with, in this particular situation. If I did this on my own, I.V and half the men in the mansion would be

I saw headlights on the other side of the gate. I knew it

as he reaches for my hand through the gap of

you I'm fine. I

truth now or I will crash through this fucking gate and ask Volkov

Alexei are

what else is more important than you?" He said, his eyebrows

the lump in my throat

tell me the truth." He said, holding

that Matushka is far enough not to hear me. "Today is Yelena's death anniversary. Nikolai and Alexei need some time

the significance of this day and then somehow figured

how about your birthday? Did they

my gaze from him

life of their own wife?" He continued and I can sense that the man is already

it's not that

"Come with me."

No. I can't.

I go wherever those two are right now and I will show them how they fucked this day

them to fight again just because of this. I had to convince Matushka that I need

-

They just saw Belle get inside

is the first time that I wish

are all gonna die in the hands of the Russians. And I'm not gonna be proud of it because it wasn't an unprovoked death. We just did this to

faith. The Boss knows what he is

-

Belle's POV

my hand and held it firmly

this morning but she decided for tomorrow because there were things that needed to be arranged and we thought that you would want to spend this day