Forbidden Heat

Finally, this day came around again this year. Today is the death anniversary of my dear mother. As per the custom of the house, everyone in the mansion was dressed head-to-toe in black today as a sign of mourning and remembrance of my mother. I woke up at dawn to shower and get dressed. Reiner and Laura helped me get dressed in a long silk black dress that was matched with a big black bow headband. Black patent leather mid-heel shoes completed the look. The absolute must-have accessory for today are big and black sunglasses. The bigger the better to cover my swollen eyes when I cry. I cry every year; this year won’t be any different.

Today, Lucien and I will visit my mother’s grave which was located on a hilltop in the outskirts. Due to family politics, my mother was not laid to rest in the Rosenhall’s family graveyard. I’m sure she is much happier where she is now rather than being buried underground forever amongst the dead and gone Rosenhalls. Usually, it would just be Lucien and I on this day trip, but this year Reiner was joining us because Lucien had requested for him to drive.

I met Lucien in the sitting room as we prepared for our departure. The atmosphere was solemn at best and as always, this day seem to hit Lucien hard. Lucien also wore black from head to toe. Black suit, shirt, pants, necktie, belt, and shoes. Everything about him was black and dark today including his mood. The only thing that had color in him was his green eyes. Wordlessly we got inside the back of Lucien’s black Rolls-Royce.

The journey was long, but no one spoke a word during the whole ride. Lucien held my hand all the way and silently our presence comforted each other. I’m sure that during the ride to my mother grave, Lucien must have been recalling memories he shared with her similar to how I replayed the happy days I had with her in my mind. I really miss you, mother. I’m about to start crying already, and we’re not even at her grave yet. It never gets any easier.

…

As Natalia recalled her precious memories with her mother, Lucien was thinking of his future with Natalia. Natalia was twenty-two now and a young woman already, Lucien thought to himself as he kept his eyes forward. Lucien had been sleepless for a few nights already as he antagonized about how he should tell Natalia the truth. He probably couldn’t tell her everything all at once, but slowly over time he had hoped to slowly tell her parts of the truth. Today is an important day for her to remember her mother, it is the perfect day to tell her the truth about her mother.

Would she even believe me in

…

around two hours in the car, we arrived at my mother’s grave. Reiner opened the door for us with a bow as he took my hand to help me out

please wait here,” Lucien instructed. Reiner nodded

had chosen this hill so that my mother would have a view from the top of the city nearby and the nature. Even my mother’s final resting place must have been

Soon we arrived at our destination. For a grave that was located in such a remote area, it was well kept in order. Thanks to a family that lived near here who had agreed to take care of my mother’s grave in exchange for

our bouquet of flowers onto her grave before we knelt down to pray silently. I usually had many things that I wanted to tell my mother whenever I visited her here. However, this year, I didn’t know what to tell her. There were so many things that I’ve done that I’m sure she wouldn’t be too proud of. For example, having sex with the handsome man next to me, who was her ex-husband, although I knew that he

for myself. I love you, mum. I want to believe that your decision to place me under Lucien’s care was the right one. I will not run away from

my cold hand into his. The wind blew around us on the mountain top and