Fated To The Alpha

Chapter 177

Fated To The Alpha by Jessica Hall Chapter 177

Katya POV

The drive felt like it was taking forever, each second was agonizing as I felt the cold dread of darkness creeping in and twisting and warping my rational thought. How had I never noticed before, how  had I never  felt   this writhing  within me. I  was always aware of the darkness, but for the most part  I only saw the aftermath  and didn’t have the processing of what it actually did. I felt like a bystander in my own body, yet for the first time I

was fully aware of what it did to me, the coldness of it and the way it controlled not only me but my thought patterns.

No wonder I never remembered much and would have to go off the word of  what my mates said about what happened     like a blackout drunk, only this time I was startling sober to watch what became of me. My limbs no longer mine, like I became the alter ego of the darkness as it wrapped me in its embrace, calling me to the deepest parts of my mind, whispering if  I just gave in to  it,  it would erase  everything that hurt me and now I realised the darkness which is all I saw last time was because I was not fighting but succumbing to the bliss it offered if I just shut off, if I let it have me. I let it have control because I could never identify it before, I couldn’t  hear  the whispers until it was too late.

Only this time I felt the rush of it smooth caressing coldness seeping in and tainting my mind, clouding it and weighing it down like extreme exhaustion. Just give in and sleep and tomorrow will be a new day but if I did, what

would the aftermath of the storm look like. I listen to the madness of its calling and fully identify myself within it.

The only thing grounding me was  the purring from Maddox,  the rumble  of his chest against my

back. His warm embrace holds me here, keeping me fighting to stay forward and not to give in. I always confused it for anger but it was so much more than that, so out of control.

I could feel my body twitching,  my hands  clawing at my skin like it was alive and crawling yet I had no control over my actions. I could only try  to fight to remain at the front, not giving into it completely and  giving it  the control  it craved. The darkness was like its own organism that resided in me, I was a vessel and it was just looking for an opportunity to sneak through my defenses and run amok.

I was my own destruction, no wonder they didn’t trust me, no wonder they lingered. If our roles were reversed I would be the same. I was a ticking time bomb and they knew it and now I did too.

The more I resisted the stronger its call and I was helpless in its clutches as I watched myself slip further into the depths of  my own mind,  a passenger within myself.

“Stop  Kat” Maddox whispers, the purring in his chest getting louder and I try to focus on the sound instead of the feeling slipping over me.

My claws drew blood as they raked over my bare legs, Maddox hissing, everything I did to myself  I was doing to him as he took it from me. I tried to focus on my surroundings, trying to find a way to anchor myself.

Andrei was driving his lips moving and I tried to focus on his words while Maddox tried to restrain my hands, holding them in one of his. My legs dug into the leather seat as my feet moved. Focus, focus. I tell myself, my mind growing heavier as I fight to remain. My back arching as he fights me to remain still, my entire body thrashing like a fish out of water.

pull over” I hear vaguely. Andrei’s voice  muffled and I realised why, it was the noises I was making. Growling and screaming like a madwoman. Maddox’s arm goes over my forehead as  I try to  bite    him, the other around my chest when he moves, wrapping his legs around mine,

could only watch as the door opened and I lurched out of it, tackling Andrei to the ground. His arms  wrapping  around my torso as the darkness forces

as he lets go while I  turn  in his grip. The moment  his grip let  go I was lurching  forward,   trying to escape into the trees.  I am screaming at  myself, trying to tell myself to stop. There are too many human communities in this part and we

control  so they can  catch me when my paws hit the air, my body careening toward   the   rocky valley   beneath. Teeth sinking into my tail and jerking me back  quickly  and tossing me back onto solid ground though Maddox paws

at the last second pulling him back but my body in wolf form didn’t wait to see if he got back to safety. Instead taking off and looking for escape. No matter how much I screamed for myself to stop I ran, running around the ravine

me, but I appeared to be heading home. What did the darkness  want with me, it felt like  it  was searching for something. Seeking something out. Hearing a howl behind me, I move faster. Zipping and jumping over rocks and around trees before darting across roads continuing the incline to the top. Once there I turn off onto the secluded road. When I hear the mindlink open, it shocks me as Maddox’s voice forces its way in my

it down” Maddox yells. I tried to figure out why he was

with newfound energy when I notice it. The glimmers of it. I try to jam on the breaks in my own body. Try yanking

chasing them,

and it was calling to the darkness, the darkness wanted it, craved the

up, flooring it when I hear a loud engine coming up behind me and I step to the side to see Andrei’s car chasing after ours when I 

you have them, Kitty” He growls in my head. I tried telling him it wasn’t me, that this wasn’t me but  the darkness, that no part of this I had control over. I dart right,  Maddox  jumping into my path trying to get an advantage and for once

I realised something, the darkness doesn’t know how to use my aura, its all primal instinct,

and running for the front door as I skid across the ground turning into the driveway. Jonah is not far behind her with Sage. Mateo shifts and runs at me but I

 

after Marge when suddenly Sage shifts and pivots before attacking me. Her teeth sinking into my flank and I scream watching myself snap my jaws at her only for Andrei to bite into my neck before rolling on his back and flinging me over the top of him and into

them to kill me knowing what the darkness wanted,

and what the darkness was capable of. It wanted to feed on power, and my kids glowed like a million candles with the power running through

and I was looking for an escape. Maddox tackles me,

lightning bolt ripple up my spine. The sparks from the bond. The bond, our mate bond, I  could still feel that. My limbs no, but the bond I felt completely.   Sage rushes toward the house and so does my father. I see him tell Andrei to get in the house but my attention is diverted.

to fight it” Mateo says the link sounding hollow as I try to pull on the bond, feeling for their

tries to gain advantage when I suddenly spin, realising it was a distraction as Maddox goes for my neck again. The darkness recognises the move and attacks colliding with him. Maddox just slipped out of range of my teeth as I stalked him. The darkness becomes enraged when I feel myself tugging on the restraints of my mind,  pulling on the bond and Maddox and Mateo’s essence, using it to  ground me and push me  forward,

and I lunge at Maddox’s throat. Ares lets out a strangled whimper and I scream as my canines wrap around the back of his neck. I squeeze my eyes shut, unable to watch myself kill him. My scream resonates out and I shove myself forward plunging into the bond and focusing on the energy of it humming with love, acceptance, loyalty and every good thing that comes

Only when I open  my

around his neck only my teeth hovering off his skin. I sag

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