As I continue on scrolling down my phone while we cue at the airport, my mother continues to talk about how she doesn't exactly understand what exactly is going on but I pay no attention because I don't want to trouble my mind with regrets that I can barely resist. I may letting go the chance of a lifetime but if it doesn't include happiness, I won't participate.
''Can I at least know why?'' She asks, making me turn to face her and see the look on her face—it shows confusion. Deep inside, I know I would be the same if I'm in her shoes; I would want to know.
''There's nothing to know,'' I reply, dropping my phone inside my handbag before putting both of my hands in my coat's pocket. Honestly, I don't want to tell about what happened yesterday to her even though I know that she deserves to know because she's my mother and she came here with me. Leaving without a reason is definitely confusing for her but my reason is enough for me to leave.
My mind can't seem to forget the words he said yesterday and he didn't deny it either when we were talking. He kept his word, he did book a flight for both mum and I for our return to New York. The queen was surprised to hear my decision but she didn't stop me because she knew, her son doesn't even want to marry me. We don't want to marry each other.
''There's nothing wrong with Emma. She's a wonderful person and I'm very sure that she has a pure heart but it's not something that I can force upon myself. I can't love her, mother. When I look at her, I just don't see myself loving her in a way that a husband should love his wife—in fact, I don't see myself loving her in anyway possible.'' The way he spoke, showed determination.
I let out a deep sigh before glancing down at my wrist watch, wanting to get out of England as soon as possible and without a second thought of this place. My new plan is to get back to New York, probably spend a couple of days trying to make my priorities straight and my feelings stable before finally going back to the restaurant to start dealing with the business again.
It may sound like a perfect plan but plans can be ruined by unexpected people. Happens all the time. Mum might come and try to force me to leave the house just so that we can go back to England but I won't be taking any chances coming back here; I don't feel like there's a purpose. We came all the way from New York just to hear myself getting rejected and it wasn't even at my face.
My heart continues on saying that it doesn't matter and it doesn't bother me at all but deep inside, I want to know if he even thinks of me as someone who's beautiful. I want to know why he doesn't want to try and give in for once just so that there's a chance for our relationship to work out—everyone starts as strangers and we can probably begin there.
Like I said, Emery and I are two different people. He's the prince and I'm just a city girl with a business to run instead of a country. He deserves someone better and with a high status other than me because look at him, he's like the definition of perfection. The way he look, stand, talk and even move, it contains power and grace.
''There's obviously a lot of things to know, Emma. You just don't want to tell me, that's all. You want to keep it to yourself and I don't blame you for that but I have the right to know if you decline the marriage or even the engagement—is there something that you don't like? What happened with Emery last night? Did he say something hurtful?'' She continues to ask which makes me let out another sigh—she pisses me off sometimes and I just wish I can block my ears for a few hours until she finally stops talking but I can't do that so it irritates me.
''You said that we have a choice. What I'm doing right now is choosing my choice so I'm not looking back because that's far from what I have in mind,'' I reply.
''I want to know the reason behind this.''
She starts to stand in front of me as she looks at me dissatisfaction so with another sigh, ''He doesn't want to marry me. I don't want to marry him. We don't want to marry one another and from that, it shows how our marriage will never last. I don't want to be forcing myself to love or even like him so the only way to not regret afterwards is to walk away, leave everything behind and start fresh.'' I say.
''That's not even a great explanation,'' She mutters.
''There doesn't need to be an explanation, mum. Just know that this is my life and my choice so you have to accept everything without saying how I will regret this. I might regret this one day but that's life, you just got to move on and forget the unnecessary details of your life.'' I say, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
When I see that she's looking at something behind me, I turn to follow her gaze—surprised to see Emery standing there, looking straight at my face. My eyes widen slightly at his presence before he continues to walk closer towards me until we're close enough.