Don’t Cry Baby

Sleep comes and goes throughout the night; nightmares greet me when I finally fall into a deep sleep. They cause me nothing but dread until I wake up to the sound of my alarm. I peel my eyes open and slowly sit up, my body screaming at me as I start to move. I feel sore and achy all over, I climb out of bed and reach for my housecoat. I wrap it around myself and pick out an outfit. Simple leggings and a sweatshirt, something comfortable for today, I retreat to the bathroom to take my morning shower.

I whimper as I finally catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The bruises on my jaw, his fingertips, are not a pretty sight. I avert my eyes and climb into the shower to wash away the memories of last night. I feel the tears slide down my face, I try my best to keep them away, not wanting my eyes to look red, but I can’t help it.

When I finish in the shower I get out, get dressed and begin applying makeup to the bruises on my face. I use a sponge and lightly dab at the different areas hoping to cover all the bruises. Every time I touch the dark spots to conceal them, I feel pain. The pain makes me whimper and my hands begin to shake. Making it difficult for me to apply all my makeup.

As I'm finishing up, I take one last look making sure no sign of the bruises are there. There is a hint of a darker shade in the areas where the bruising is worse but, nothing that anyone will notice. I straighten up and finish getting ready for school. I can do this, no one will even know.

I race down the steps and to the door hoping no one will stop me as I try and escape. I do not feel the need to explain why I chose to wear makeup today unlike every other day. I normally just do mascara. I choose sleep over a full face.

I race towards the door and put my shoes on.

"Have a good day at school hunny!" My Mom calls from the kitchen table.

Every morning she sits there drinks a cup of coffee and reads the news. I’m just glad she's not one of those moms that forces me to eat breakfast. I'm never hungry until at least 11.

I step outside not eager to start the day and jump at the sight ahead of me. There standing against a tree is Ty, with sad eyes. He slowly trudges over and looks down at me through thick black lashes that could make any girl jealous.

"I'm so sorry baby, I never meant to hurt you. You know I can't control it sometimes please forgive me. I love you; I'll do better." I smile at him and take his hand squeezing it reassuringly.

"I forgive you Hun, please don't ...don't grab me like that again. It really scared me. I thought we were passed that." He nods and I can see that he truly is sorry. We walk together for awhile; we stop about a block away from the school to make sure we aren’t seen by too many people. We say our goodbyes and part ways.

"Have a good day baby doll, I'll come over later and make it up to you." He winks and I shudder knowing exactly what he means. He gives me a quick peck on the cheek and runs off in the opposite direction.

..

School has been relatively boring today, nothing too special going on pretty much the same old shit. Damien makes it a little more bearable. I know Ty would be angry that I am still friends with him but, I can’t just drop my only friend at this school.

He sits with me at lunch and sits by me in all our classes together. He truly is an overly sweet guy; Maybe Ty can learn to like him; he just needs to take the time to get to know him instead of letting his jealousy take control. He has been hurt a few times. He always tells me; it is hard for him to trust anyone.

It's hard for us sometimes when he loses his mind over something so little, I try to be understanding but sometimes he can get scary.

"Hey Ash, I asked you something. Did you hear it?" Damien says with a laugh, I feel the crimson creep up into my face as I look up into those amber eyes.

"I didn't I'm sorry I was just thinking, what's up?"

"I was just wondering if you could come over after school today and help me out with something?" I nod and smile. He smiles back and we set up a time to hangout.

Maybe Ty just won't have to know that I’m going over to Damien's today, it's best if he doesn't for the both of us.

**

Damien's house isn't large, but it isn't small either. It has a beautiful porch with a wooden porch swing hanging from it. I'm itching to sit and relax in that swing. It's painted a beautiful grey colour with darker trimming. It looks so homy when I step inside, all mild calm colours. Except for the vibrant red couch that sits in their living room.

Damien tells me that he had picked it out when his dad first left because all the colours in their old home were boring and he wanted a colour that would cheer everyone up. Red is vibrant and exciting, so he picked that one.

I smile at this thought; Damien is so caring when it comes to other people; it's no wonder we get along so well.

"Okay so I just needed help with this cake, it's my mom’s birthday and to be perfectly honest with you I have never baked a cake in my life. It's just her first birthday without my dad and I want to do something special for her."

"Oh awesome, I'd love to help you bake."

into his kitchen and grabs everything he needs to bake a cake; I smile and stand patiently

come in because I have no idea how to bake this damn thing." I giggle and step forward to take charge,

to preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit." He smiles and walks over to the oven he stands there staring

how to do that do you?" He turns around looking guilty. I walk over shaking my head with

need a large mixing bowl please." He

cup of butter,2 eggs, 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract, 1 and 1/2 cups of flour, 1/2 cup of milk and then mix it all together in this bowl." Damien's eyes grow wide as if he didn't hear half

one by one

he grabs an egg throwing it right at me I turn, and

that's so much worse then flour you ass." I roll my eyes and laugh, and he looks at me with a grin his cute dimples

filled with disgust. Damien sits at the table laughing his

He starts walking me towards the stairs. We're both laughing so hard we don't even hear the door open or close. He spins me so I'm

hey there, you must be Damien's Mom. Happy birthday!" Damien drops me on the

was work. Shit I'm sorry Ash." He leans down and helps me

His Mom laughs and shakes her

how

Edson,

like to stay for dinner?" I smile and nod she ushers is into the kitchen and we

to her as she prepares dinner and I can't help but enjoy being

..

the time I get home it's pretty late, my parents knew where I

of climbing into bed. I open my door and take a sharp intake of breath. Tyler sits cross legged on my bed looking at my favourite

it so much I'm sure you have it memorized." He speaks quietly and slow, almost sinister. He grabs the cover and rips it off. I gasp, he continues to rip pages and throws them on the

the heartbreak as you watch one of your favourite things get ripped from you." My bottom lip quivers as he holds my jaw tighter. "That's exactly how I feel knowing you were over there with him. Look what is in your fucking hair. You need a shower." I completely forgot about the egg Jesus his mom was probably staring right at my hair the whole time. Ty grabs my arm and forcefully pulls me to the bathroom. My muscles clench hoping my parents are nowhere near the bathroom. He pulls me in

in and he pulls me into the stream of hot water. The water cascades down my body and relaxes my tight

over to his house. Did you think I wouldn't know; did you think I wouldn't suspect?" I close my eyes and feel the fear creep back up. "Hey hey , stop crying open your eyes. I want you to look at me this whole time. I wanna watch you as I pleasure you baby. Don't you move." His hands caress my cheek and it takes every ounce of my power not to turn away. He grabs my nipples between his fingers on both hands and twist them. I bite my lip between my teeth hard enough to draw blood. My body begins to vibrate, my body forgiving him faster then me. He grins and pulls me close kissing my neck, sucking hard. Leaving little bruises down everywhere his lips touch. He slips his fingers inside me and I gasp feeling

He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his torso, longing for his member to plunge into me. I kiss his neck and he growl, I move and kiss his lips, darting my tongue out pleading for entrance. He allows it and kisses me deep. I feel his growing

the sex. I grip his shoulders trying not to call out. "Don't cum baby it's my turn not yours." I feel him shudder as he releases, not pulling out. "That's your punishment for the day, I won't let you climax. You do not deserve that. If I catch you with him again your punishment will be much worse, I assure you baby doll." We finish washing up and he carries me back to bed. He

pulls my head up so my ear

over there again. Promise?" I sit up and stare

I'm not letting him go too." Ty growls and slams my head back against the wall. My vision blurs and the room goes fuzzy. He stands up off the bed and angrily throws

pull a pillow over my mouth to muffle the sobs, so no one

at my door startles

for a couple days. There's a convention in Millet we're going to see." I'm glad my mom didn't try and

Mom, have fun I

too sweetie have a good sleep." I roll over and wrap

me I swear he loves me; he doesn't want to hurt me. He loves me

**

barely see

my legs are on fire. I look down and notice I'm running through pine needles and dirt; my bare feet feel

feel is fear, Bone chattering fear. I push my lungs harder than I think they can handle. I run as fast as I can, until I'm stopped abruptly by

hands propped up on my knees. I slowly breathe in and out trying to calm myself. I run a shaky hand through my hair untangling

slightly but are still noticeable. I lift my hand up and feel the back

a puff of air out of my mouth, shake my head and climb into the shower. Longing for the heat to ease my tense

him, it hurts me to not think about him as my boyfriend. I know it is wrong what he does, I know that it's crazy for me to love him even after all the pain he's put me through. Most of the time he makes me

We do need to have a talk though. He needs to change he can't hit me like that. He can't hurt me and expect everything to be okay just because