Cruel World

Chap 53

Theo

Why he is acting so weird, he needs to stop doing that as it's making Sarah weird too.

After dinner he came outside the balcony for a smoke....he left Sarah and Ava in the living room so they can have some alone time...and he feels little hurt when Sarah gets really excited to spend some alone time with Ava without him...but he won't blame her...he has totally broken all the connection of love, trust and even concept of civility between them.

He took the deep puff of the cigarette...god he really need this....he never know when he becomes addicted to smoking all he remembers after that teenage incident he had ...he turns into a different person and then cigarette become the working mechanism that made him forget that dark part....he shake his head he won't go there.

He won't....not now...he might one day have to talk to the psychologist but not now he can't go there.

By psychologist he remembers he has to arrange a one for Sarah too as the doctor has also told him that Sarah needs to talk to someone too...he will find first thing in the morning.

When he was done with his smoking ...he came inside and went directly to Ava room...he then saw the two most beautiful women in his life...he saw Sarah was softly singing the lullaby to Ava while dragging her hand in Ava red hair.....Ava was sleeping deep

Theo crosses his arm and smiled looking at both of them. He cursed himself how he tries to destroy this bond between them and how much pain he had given them. Tina death was a shocking moment of his life but knowing Sarah was innocent all this time was the father of all shock and it completely changes his life... he remorseful looked to them and then Sarah suddenly turn and saw him standing ...she becomes tense like she is waiting for him to do something....it was always a sucker punch in his guts when she reacts to him like that

But he gave her a smile and said 'it took me hours to make her fall asleep and you have no idea how much I have to bribe her (he shakes his head with a smile in his face) then this little miss fall asleep but you had a magic wand to make her sleep so fast'

Sarah looks down at Ava and has so much love and affection in her smile that made Theo fall in love with Sarah more.

Sarah quietly said 'maybe all time we have miss makes her bond with me in another way.....but she kept on asking about you too.....she loves you very much' Sarah said with an emotional tone

Theo nodes in guilt and said 'im sorry you lost so much time without her but no more...she is our daughter....and she doesn't love me more only she loves you too .....when you were in the hospital she asked daily about you....(Theo kneel down in the bed and said ) Sarah don't ever think that I will use Ava innocent love in my advantage I never do that ...especially to you'

Sarah looks down and replied in a sobbing voice 'but you did take advantage of my love....my trust my...' Sarah looks away and wiped her tears

Theo felt someone put a bullet in his heart,the painful manner in which Sarah said to him totally broke his heart....she is so right he did take advantage of her love and then make Sarah pawn in his twisted sadistic plans.

Theo holds Sarah's hands and made her stand from the bed...Sarah flinched but Theo shakes his head 'Sarah look at me... I know I'm a bastard to do that with your love...those pure feeling for me that you hold but I was indifferent state of mind...I'm not making excuse for myself but that's the truth and I'm so sorry what I did but I'm looking forward to every day to give you so many smiles so much love that you start trusting me. I know you won't believe me but I love Ava and I love you so much 'he whispered and kissed her forehead.

Sarah was quite and stand still and replied 'I'm tired I need to sleep'

Theo nodes 'come we will go together'

When they reached their room...Theo was keenly looking at her ....he just wants her to be comfortable and relax.

He then took out her medicines 'before sleep you need to eat this...these are some vitamin course that you have to have daily'

He made her sit down on the bed and bring some water for her and then give the medicine to her

Theo then kneels down and take off her shoes ...that made Sarah winced in shocked 'what are you doing' she said in disbelieve

Theo know why she reacted like that because the moment he took off her shoes he remember those days when he used to make Sarah do all these stuff like giving water to him whenever he came back from office and then ordering her to take off his shoes...these were his way to degrade her and now it disgusts him

But now all he wants to pamper Sarah made her feel comfortable and know she holds the power towards his heart ... he shrugs and normally replied 'nothing.Just taking off my wife shoes...you need to loosen up a little 'he winks to her that made Sarah mouth open in shocked but she automatically stable her expressions.

Theo then gently put Sarah feet on the bed and made her lie down then go to his side and lie down.

Sarah sits automatically 'you are sleeping here?'

eyebrow in confusion 'yeah where

can't sleep here and not

sighs ....he can go and sleep somewhere but that will make him worried about Sarah that he leave her alone that

won't do anything to you plz, believe me, I won't even touch you but if it makes you feel good and I will sleep on the floor

and softly said 'I... I can sleep on the floor like I

lips 'shh ... I will sleep down its final and it's your bed. Anything that's mine

put his finger on her plump lips and god how much he wanted to kiss that...he can feel his body

that Sarah can't see him below his pants because it will make Sarah uncomfortable and scared

arrange them and lie down but he saw how Sarah looks so

Sarah...just relax and sleep well and

the quilt on him too and lie down on the most awkward and uncomfortable mattress of the decade...no wonder how Sarah even slept on this for years...this made him super guilty that he really made her sleep a cursed for her on those days...he felt the tear the how much she use to feel so tired and uncomfortable in this mattress especially after the day she had been gone to torture and endless work tasks and then at night she had to deal with the bastard like him...the heavy feeling of the tears in his eyes made him realized that

doubt himself that a person like him never deserve a chance then why he is still begging

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(After a week)

Sarah

trouble here....everyone was acting so concern and caring towards her except roma and thank god she hasn't

on her baby, hell she haven't seen Olivia tom daughter properly...even tom wanted to bring her daughter to her but Lisa reluctant response and excuse made Sarah believe that she still doesn't want her children to meet her...it hurts her but Sarah was also so ok with that

to how laying on a thin mattress for years can give you terrible body ache but unfortunately Sarah never got any satisfaction.....she doesn't know why ...maybe he took care of her so well by giving

he is change...he is not...have you forget how he reacted when Mark took Tina name...she shivers with that thought and come out from the washroom and decide to wake Ava and took her outside the house today...she really needs to take

soon she came out Theo also came holding the tray

houses but I told them that if my wife and daughter like it then

flower and smells it and said 'thank

coffee for both of them...'

plate and waited

his head and smiled 'ok ok! I told you a week ago, well not properly but I have decided to move to a new house ...since (He look away) since mom presence is making Ava and you uncomfortable is much better to move and I really wanted to focus on you guys and not any issues that mom can

dont know

is also here and dad don't like me so I don't think he will miss me ' he had a sad

'i wanted to go out

saw how Theo become tense when she told him about going out thing....so

go with you guys ...you know what tomorrow we will be looking for houses then maybe we can go out for

angry 'or maybe don't want to lose your

hands) you just got out of a big trauma and I don't even know what's going on in your head...you think so much and speak

and I can't talk about it cause you made me like that....you don't even allow me to speak to someone for years about my issues....and yes i wont do anything because I had Ava and that's why

relax and I know I'm responsible for every single thing that happens with you...that's why it made me feel like shit that I can't help you because you don't talk. You know your doctors strictly told me you need to talk to a good psychologist ..you

wow theo it's you who need help from the start.... I always knew there something terribly wrong with you and I also knew Tina death is not the only reason....' she accuses him and then she stopped when she saw the expression in theo face that made Sarah take a step back..its the same

so do you. That's why I decided to make an appointment with the

will never understand the hell I was in ....no one can understand me and what makes you think that I'm here to make this marriage to work? You should be not in this notion that I came back to give

guilty eyes and sad smiled was the look Sarah don't want to see...as this makes her feel different thing ...he walks to her 'you can still call the police and put me behind the bar...i will accept everything but if you had come for Ava then you need

will send the driver and I will look for another car for

were moist but she did not dare to

Theo

window and was still shaken up by the morning fight ....he smiles...for some reasons he liked this version of Sarah it make her look more alive and strong...but the words ...those damn words were enough to put

and told

me...you haven't gone home you were saying that today

then looked at the estate

we might look for new houses...well its Sarah and Ava

looked disturbed 'but it should be us...not you