Chapter 300 The Knot in My Heart
Whose name did I call?
Waking up from my dream, I was confused and unsure if that had been a
hallucination.
'Did I shout Aaron's name? Did I really do that?'
"I must be out of my mind!" I murmured in pain, clutching my head, and fell
into a silent rant.
Why him?
It didn't make any sense.
Vincent and I had been in love for years, and although he lied to me and hurt
me, we had some sweet times before the incident. So, in terms of trust, he
came second to Cinder and Nick.
But why? Why did Aaron's name pop out of my mouth when I was helpless?
I didn't get it.
Did I like him that much? A man who bore another woman in his heart?
'What am I doing?' I told myself, 'He is not your true love. Even if you are
attracted to each other, it has been tried before, hasn't it? The result is clear.
The more reckless I am in love, the more tragic the result.'
We were not a match.
A healthy relationship makes both parties better, not making them torment
each other.
I almost died because of him. I reminded myself not to forget that.
I wasn't going to give him the remaining half of my life.
Tears streamed down uncontrollably as I clutched my head and roared silently
on the bed.

Each protruding vein expressed my breakdown at that moment.
I turned my head and looked out the window.
Damn! Why was Manhattan still so beautiful in the snow?
The screen of my phone lit up, and it started vibrating.

The caller ID showed Adenauer.
I checked the time.
It was midnight here in Manhattan, and it should be 6 a.m. in Ulm.
I casually wiped away my tears and quickly sorted out my thoughts before
answering the phone.
"Merry Christmas, sweetheart." Adenauer's soft voice rang through the line.
His voice had healing power - soft and kind.
So why couldn't I fall in love with him like I had with Aaron?
Damn it! I shouldn't dwell on what had just happened.
I sniffed heavily, trying to lift my spirits.
"Merry Christmas, Adenauer, although I guess it's already the 26th where you
are."
"Were you crying?" Adenauer's concern was palpable, even across the
Atlantic Ocean.
A professional psychiatrist he was, he always had a knack for seeing through
my emotions.
"Did something happen? You sound terrible. I'm worried about you," he said,
his voice tinged with urgency and a hint of quilt.
"I'm fine. I just had a dream about my childhood," I lied, trying to rub
weariness off my face. I tried to sound cheerful, but it was too hard. "Colston,
can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Of course. You can always call on me."
"I never mentioned my parents or family to you before. Maybe you've noticed
some-thing, being a professional and all. Sorry, my thoughts are as jumbled
as New York traffic right now. My words might not make much sense."
"Don't worry," Adenauer said soothingly.
"Just say whatever comes to mind. And if you need to, we can do some
simple Q&A."
"That would be great," I said gratefully.
"Alright then," Adenauer said, slipping into professional mode. "First question:
can you tell me about the dream you just had?"
"Uh... It was about my parents," I said hesitantly. "The dream was fragmented.
I don't remember most of the details, but there's one part that stands out."
My mind drifted back to Christmas when I was six years old.
"That was the first Christmas I ever spent with my parents," I said, my voice
trembling. "They gave me an Adelie stuffed penguin as a gift and took me out
for a fancy dinner. I was so happy and told them it was the best Christmas
ever because I finally had a family. But when we got home, they told me they
were sending me to boarding school."
I tried to steady my voice, but my sobs gave me away.
" was so confused," I continued. "I asked them why they kept sending me
away when they were my parents. Why couldn't we live there with me in New
York like other families? But my mother, Kirsty Woods, told me calmly that if
they stayed in New York for me, they would have to get divorced."
"Why?" Adenauer asked, puzzled.
In fact, any normal person wouldn't be able to understand my parents'
thinking.
"Because they tried," I said bitterly and angrily. "They're both biologists and
penguin researchers. In many ways, they are perfect for each other - both
nerdy and passionate about their work. They even fell in love on an icebreaker
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