Buying the Virgin

“Um, I was a bit spaced-out actually. Mainly, I was thinking that the numbers I was hearing were more money than I’d ever seen in my life, and half of it was mine. All I had to do was keep my nerve for a week.” Then I falter. “That all seemed pretty reasonable until Richard told me what happened to that other girl….”

He slips his hand over mine.

“Why did you come back to us, Charlotte? You went through that, after everything that had preceded it, and then James and I…. We…. You had the money. You could have started your life over, and never had to set eyes on us again, but you came back. Why?”

“Because I wanted to. Because both of you were honest about it; about what you wanted, and that you were paying me, very well, for it. The things we did… you were both so gentle, and kind, and careful with me. You never forced me into anything. I chose all of it.”

“Alright, so we didn’t hurt you. but that doesn’t answer the question. Why did you come back?”

“I came back, at first, because I simply wanted more, of both of you. Later, I realised I’d fallen in love.”

His face twists. “With James, not with me.”

“It took longer with you, that’s all. And it’s different with the two of you. It was only meant to be for a week, but later, the more I thought about what had happened during that week, the more I wanted to be back with you both. The two of you were my Master and my Golden Lover. I’d never had anything like it.”

“It didn’t bother you that we were fucking you for money? After what had happened to you in the past?”

“But it wasn’t like that…. Yes, you’d paid, but you never treated me like I was someone you’d paid. And you helped me. You gave me ways of helping myself, and then, later, after I knew I’d fallen in love, somehow…. there was never the chance, the right moment.... Michael…?”

“Mmm?”

“Did you pay? Was it both of you?”

“No. James made the purchase. But I joined in. I’m not feeling proud of myself.”

He looks pensive, drawing invisible doodles on the table surface with his finger.

“Charlotte, have you never had someone to talk to? To confide in?”

library. He let me use his telescope, showed me how to use it, taught me the constellations. And when I wanted to know more about it, he said he could only teach me so much, that I needed to go to college

is listening intently, with a

from the City. But.… he told me how he’d escaped his old country when things got bad and made a new life for himself. And I realised that, if he’d done it, so could I. He showed me that education is freedom, and if I wanted to make my own

a

voice breaks up…. “At Christmas, I went back there to see him again, to tell him that I’d made it to university. I wanted…. I wanted him to be proud of me.… but he was so old…. when I got there, they told me he’d

My eyes flood.

Michael shakes his head. “Oh God, I’m so sorry.” He hugs me, kissing the

*****

the smell of coffee. My Master is there, sitting on the end of the bed with Michael, talking quietly with him. I don’t move, trying

turn to look at me, Michael smiling at me, my Master

Charlotte. How are you

stomach churning,

chews his lip for a moment. “I’m not going to tell you exactly until we have some final information come in, but I will say, that Haswell has worked

“Really?”

really.” The words sound as though he should be pleased, but his

Michael: “Coffee?”

“Mmm, yes, please.”

“Breakfast?”

no. Don’t think I could hold

your time. Have your coffee, take a bath, whatever.

I’m baffled. “How…”

this once. We’re waiting for some documents to come in, for final confirmation, then we’ll tell you.” He snorts a laugh, but there is no humour in it. “You chose the right place to finally make your confession. Haswell is the kind of man who can pull a lot of strings, very quickly, when he

to his

“No, he’s here, downstairs.”

*****