Broken Bad Boy

PERCIE

Fifteen months ago…

“I knew what you have, Emma. I knew about your condition. Why can’t you blame me? Yell at me or hate me? It makes me guiltier. Why do you have to be so cool about this?” I shook my head and stood up from her bed. I scratched my head out of frustration.

“You sound okay with this. I hate seeing you like this. It’s killing me, Emma. Tell me why it’s so easy for you to accept all of these?” My voice rose a little.

Her lips quivered. Jesus. Nothing in this world I did right. I settled beside her again as I dwelled my own agony.

“I’m sorry, Em. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to put myself in this situation. I don’t even know what to do with myself without you. I don’t mean to yell at you. I’m just so frustrated and lost that I am so useless to you.” I kissed her forehead. “Emma, I love you. I would do anything if given a chance to be in your position. I want you to walk again, Em.”

“Perce, I love you too. Please, stop blaming yourself. I needed to accept this, Perce. It happened. Nothing’s gonna change this. I have to move forward and forget about the grudge. I may stay in a wheelchair, but most paraplegic people like me have survived and lived longer. I can still go to college or take online classes. I can still function, although I have to work with my wheelchair and stay seated. I just need some skills on how to function on daily living.”

I looked at her in the eyes, searching for sadness or grief in there. All I saw was the same Emma before the accident. The more I got the fact that she had accepted everything so quickly, the more I wanted to hurt myself.

“I’m here, Emma. I’ll help you with everything I can. I will never leave you. We’ll stick together like before,” I reassured her.

“No, Perce. You have to go to college at Hillston. We can still talk every day over the phone. In the meantime, I need to stay here for a while until I can function alone by myself.”

I shook my head. “No, Em. We stick together. I will stay here and help you every day. End of discussion. I will attend college, but not this year. Let me at least help you, Emma. Please?”

“Perce, No! You won’t gonna stop because of me. Go to college, or I’ll never talk to you again. Mom and Dad have arranged a rehab facility for me until I can function on my own. I’ll be fine there. When I’m ready, that’s the time I will attend college with you. Promise me, Percival? Promise me you’ll go to college this year?”

I slumped myself into the chair and blew a huge breath.

She was so stubborn.

promise. You can still come and see me

in disbelief, but I had no choice but to agree with her.

rehab. This was one way to help her. If I would stop her, it was

every weekend, even every day for as long as

“Thank you for doing this to me, Perce.”

you, Emma Peyton.”

her room when she finally fell asleep. I had to enroll in Hillston. I had an acceptance letter from them. I had to do what I promised Emma.

***

Emma would be transferred to a rehab center in Jefferson, an hour ride to Hillston. I could see her often when I started college. I could already feel my heart soaring

door flew open. Mom was standing with a furious look. Her

up in

you visit her in the hospital? The moment you brought her into that hospital bed, you

“You can’t do that.”

a conscience in your heart?” Her voice pierced in my ears, stabbed my chest, which brought me

forbid me for days. Do you think I planned that accident? It hurts to see her just lying in that bed while I’m here sitting

see your face again. I don’t care if you sleep in the street or take drugs or die in hunger. Just get out of my house. I want

tears already fell from my eyes. My world just turned upside down. I

so lost.

allowed to see Emma again. Mom just kicked me out of my

with me and placed the boxes

could stay in a motel for a few days. Then what? I couldn’t even afford to rent an apartment.

last

I was sweating. The image