Big Bad Alphas

    "Is it weird not having mom here?"

   "It was weird without you at home," Kendra tells me as she gets comfortable underneath the blankets. "I want to be here with you, Isabella."

   "You are here with me."

   The lights in the guest room are dim. I sit beside Kendra, looking down at her beautiful face as she fights to keep her eyes open. I shut all the curtains and made sure everything is perfect for her to sleep soundly, which included closing the bathroom door. Now that everything is settled, she yawns. "I know. But I want to stay here forever, with you."

   "Don't be silly," I mumble and brush back the dark, stray hairs from her face. "I'll be just a door away, okay?"

   She nods.

   I turn off the remaining light and leave the door cracked open. Today we walked around the pack with Caroline—luckily, there was no tree climbing—and Kendra took a liking to her. Caroline is enjoying having a little girl in the house, placing her in the role of the younger sister, the one she never had.

   I let go of the guest room door handle and glance to my bedroom doors. I swallow. Part of me wants to run downstairs and sleep on the couch, but the other needs to get past this bump in the road. I inhale, then exhale, then reluctantly push one of the doors open. The main light is off, and the room is lit warmly by the bathroom light as it trickles through the almost closed door. Expecting Eric to be in there, my muscles relax, but when I turn to the bed, I spot him sitting on the edge with his head in his hands.

   My heart starts up its rapid pace again, the one I just calmed in the hall. His eyes peer up to me, and the guilty feeling seeps through my skin. I want to say something, but I am not sure what. Eric looks away and I want to fall to the floor.

   My lips part, ready for words. "What I said," I pause, "I just... I didn't want to hurt you, but I ended up hurting you anyways—worse than it would have been." His eyes continue to avoid me. "Eric—just tell me what you want me to say and I'll say it because you're not listening to what I'm saying. What do you what to hear? That I wanted it? Do you truly believe that I did?"

   "Please, Isabella," he mutters, almost asking me to shut it as if I'm giving him a headache.

that he kissed me, that I made a mistake, that I didn't ask for it. I want to tell you why I didn't say anything, I really do, but I

   "What can't

want is for him to look at me, to see me, to see that I'm trying. "Because I don't know why. I had reasons, that I didn't want to hurt you, that I didn't want Lucas' search

take it. "Will you

did not expect. I watch him with a racing heart until he comes to a stop, right in front of me.

It was uncalled for. You didn't believe me and that hurt." His intimidating stature

   "Because I did not

onto my anger, as I try to hold it down. "What do you want me to say?" I ask calmly, but it does not last. "I've told you over and over again.

cuts me off and makes the move to walk away, but I

listening to me, you're not hearing what I'm saying. Alpha Kenn's kissed me, I didn't

of you kissing Alpha Kenn makes me go mad, it makes me want to bring an end to the world," he loudly says with clench fists pressed against the wall, ready to bust through. "I can't live without you, Isabella. Don't you

feeling, love. It brings tears to my eyes and makes my

He says again, softly this time. "You mean

at the door causes my knees to give in. "Isabella?" Kendra's sweet voice calls for me.

cover my face. "Not now," the words

He leaves the

tears from it with my hands. Time ceases to exist, then I hear the door open again. Eric walks through and softly closes the door behind him. "I brought her

  "I love you too,