As soon as the final buzzer sounded, I quickly skated off the ice, threw my skates in my bag, tossed my jersey in the dirty bin, and ran out of the locker room. I didn't bother to shower or to stay for the post-game meeting. I knew something was wrong with Logan, and I had to find out what was going on. Nothing else matters at this point.
The pit in my stomach is growing the closer I get to her dorm. Usually, a calm takes over me when I know she's near, but not today. Today I feel anxious, worried, and scared.
I charge through the lobby doors, bypassing the elevator, knowing that the adrenaline coursing through me will take me up the stairs quicker than the elevator ever could. I pull out my keys with shaky fingers, finding Logan's spare on the ring, ready with it in my hand as I make it to her floor. But as I sprint down her hall towards her room, I notice that her door is already wide open.
"Logan," I call out when I reach it, turning the corner as I do.
My stomach instantly drops as I take in the sight in front of me. My strong, sweet girl is almost unrecognizable as she sits on the edge of her bed, curled up with her knees to her chest, making herself small.
Her striking green eyes are now dull and vacant as she looks at me with worry. Her golden skin is drained and pale. Her cheeks look a bit hollow, and her nose is pink and raw. She's not crying right now, but I can tell she has been, maybe even for days at this point.
"Fuck. Logan, are you okay?" I ask with urgency as I bound over to her bed. I kneel in front of her, tucking her tangled hair behind her ear and giving me a clearer look at her face.
It's now become evident to me why she never answered my video calls this week. She knows that if I would've seen her like this, I would've jumped on the next flight back here. I should have.
"What's going on?" I ask her with concern, my eyes darting between hers, trying to read her as I always can.
But today, I can't. She's blank. I don't know where she is, but she's not here.
"Who the hell are you?" A male voice behind me asks.
I glance over my shoulder, finding some guy standing in the middle of Logan's room wearing the stupidest fucking expression on his face. I didn't notice him when I barged in here, but suddenly his presence is all I can focus on.
"Who the hell am I?" I ask. "Who the fuck are you? And why are you in my girlfriend's room?" I ask the douche bag who's wearing fucking boat shoes in the middle of winter, standing behind me.
"Girlfriend?" The prick asks in disbelief.
"Eli, it's not what it looks like," Logan says, pulling my attention back to her. Her voice is almost as unrecognizable as her features.
Not what it looks like? It doesn't look like anything other than some frat boy asking to get his ass kicked for being here right now and causing Logan distress. I know Logan would never cheat on me in the same what that I wouldn't. That's not even a concern of mine.
"It doesn't look like anything," I tell her with furrowed brows and a shake of my head. "Logan, I would never think that," I softly add.
"You never told me you had a boyfriend, Logan," the guy behind me states in a tone that I'm less than thrilled with being directed at my girl. His words cause me to stand up as I quickly do a body comparison, making sure I can take him if and when the time comes.
"Because I haven't spoken a word to you in three fucking months!" Logan shouts, shocking me with the rage that's spewing out of her right now. "I don't even know why you're here right now!" She adds.
I swallow hard, trying to hold back my anger. "You need to leave," I plainly tell him, blood beginning to boil, seeing Logan as upset as she is, seeing the veins in her neck protruding through her hollow skin.
"You know why I'm here, Logan," the jackass says, ignoring my polite request. "I remember what today is," he adds.
What the fuck does that mean?
"What's today?" I ask, turning back to a small and frail Logan sitting on her bed.
"Zac, get the fuck out!" Logan yells as she motions towards her door, her pale face turning red with anger.
Zac? This douchebag dressed like he's getting on a fucking yacht is Zac? Oh, fuck no. That possible ass-kicking? It's inevitable now.
"Zac?" I ask with wide eyes. "You're Zac?" I ask as I take a step towards him, putting myself between his body and Logan's.
Again he ignores me. This guy just keeps making mistakes.
"He doesn't even know what today is, Logan?" Zac asks her over my shoulder in disbelief. "Come on. Is this a joke, Logan?" He adds with a condescending tone, trying to manipulate my girlfriend, the way I assume he did plenty of times during their relationship.
The way he says her name after every sentence. I hate hearing her name coming from his mouth. He adds it on with a commanding edge when her name should only be said with tenderness.
"Of course, you remember what today is!" Logan shouts, standing as she does. "It's the same day I caught you fucking someone else, you piece of shit!" She yells over my shoulder towards him.
I'm not facing her, I'm facing him, but I'm still proud of her regardless. He's trying to make her feel small, and she won't let him because she's not. She's tough as hell, even if she doesn't look like it right now. As much as I love seeing Logan stand up for herself, she's obviously not in the right mental space to have to do so.
"Get the fuck out," I sternly tell him with flared nostrils, getting real close to his face. "Now," I add as I look down at him.
Zac gives Logan a pretentious little nod before he turns to the door to leave.
"Your mother wouldn't even recognize you right now, yelling the way you are," Zac spitefully adds, as he turns back to look at Logan.
"Don't fucking talk about my mom!" Logan shouts as she takes a bounding step towards Zac. "You barely even knew her!" She adds just in time for me to turn around and grab her, wrapping my forearm around her waist, stopping her from a physical altercation with this piece of shit.
I'm holding her up off her feet as she kicks and flails in my grasp, trying to get to him. I've never seen Logan angrier in my life, but I don't blame her at all. I am too.
"Get the fuck out!" I tell Zac again as I hold Logan back.
Finally, after giving us both one more look over, he turns on his heel and leaves.
I slam the door closed the second he's through the threshold before setting Logan back on her feet. Her face is red with anger, her breathing short and shallow, pacing the room as she tugs at her tangled red hair. Her eyes are wild as I grab her by the waist, guiding her back to sit on her bed as I bend down to make my eyes level with hers.
"Deep breath, baby," I say as her eyes lock with mine, trying to calm herself down. She takes a deep inhale before letting out a long exhale, gaze on me the entire time as she does.
I'm not entirely unaware that the roles are reversed here. I'm usually the one who can't catch their breath, and Logan is the one talking me through it, but right now, she needs me the way I always need her.