Beastly

Fuck it.

I didn't know. I was just so tired of everyone having such a swell time and getting happy in such situations when I felt like I was suffering. Of course, I didn't blame anyone. I had no one to blame but myself. Still, the fact that it seemed like no one was on my side when it came to Xander and I was not good for my mental health. When my body screamed for me to go to him and my common sense gave way, I needed someone to pull on that little string of hesitancy and drag me back. Not push me further.

Was I being immature about this? Maybe. Could I do anything to stop this feeling of betrayal from everyone around me? Maybe. I really didn't know.

"You can't expect someone to stop or encourage you dear. Every decision you've made concerning Alpha Xander has been all on you. Granted, I have no idea what you have been through with him and I can't say I haven't thought of you falling in love with him and deciding to stay, but I want nothing more than for you both to be happy." she said, as she gradually wrapped her arms around my shoulders "If you're happy together, fine. If you're happy apart, fine. I'm actually pretty glad that you give him such a tough time most of the time and that he's working to get you despite this."

"You are?" I asked, looking up at her. Gladys smiled down at me, the warmth of it making me feel much better

"Yes. It's needed for character development." I chuckled at her words "Do you hate him?"

"I..." Would I let someone I hate hold me the way Xander did? "I don't think so."

"Do you like him?"

"I think he can be a good person when he wants to be. He cares about this pack and has a slightly good head on his shoulders. As an Alpha, he's good for this place."

"What about for you?"

"I can hardly stand him. He's hot one moment, cold the next. Sometimes I want to understand him, other times, I wish he would just leave me alone. He's not healthy for me but I can't help feeling connected to him in more ways than one. It confuses me. Makes me anxious too. Yet, it excites me."

my back "These little moments do not define the entirety of who you are Luna Ava. Neither do they have to make you hesitant to do what you believe must be done. You

don't think

things like this to happen, no matter what history you may have between you." She let go of me, placing her hands on her hips "The way I see it, if you don't want it, it'll never become reality. On the other

to walk away, but let me

not want this or you're too afraid to

...................

look in your eyes?" Marcus asked. Ava jumped slightly where she

was just thinking about something." she smiled, but he could see it wasn't that genuine. She was always expressive and couldn't hide how she was feeling

nodded his head in response and quietly watched as she began to unpack the food she had brought

while you're here." he said, wanting to start up a conversation. Her soft laughter filled the room as

can handle myself in the kitchen, Gladys makes sure I don't allow myself to give in to my urges of not wanting to

closed the book she had brought for him and placed it on the bedside cabinet. Ava pulled the tray and placed the food on it so he would eat. He had made it very clear to her that he was in good shape. The IV was gone and now, he was only resting. Marcus knew it probably shocked the doctors how well and how quickly he had been able to heal of an injury of that degree. Not that he'd ever tell what he was. It was

getting out of here?" he

need to put you under observation. Besides, you're still a threat if

cleared up all of this by now. I'd like to start your training as

sitting down on the chair beside his bed. Marcus was now sure that she was spacing out because of her mate. He had deliberately mentioned him

you well?"

Ava responded, not paying

mate treat you

his best. Too touchy