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Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M novel Chapter 1

I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

 

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

The truth is he doesn’t love me. Never had and never will. That was as clear as day. Knowing this, I still wanted to hear his reply. Would he tell our son the truth or lie to him?

He clears his throat, obviously stalling. “Noah…”

“Dad, do you love mommy or not?” Noah asks again, his voice final.

I hear him sigh in defeat. “I love her for giving me you” he finally says.

It was a placation not an answer.

I close my eyes against the rush of pain that fills me. After all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart breaking all over again. I don’t know why a small part of me had hoped that his answer would be different.

He never said those three words to me. Not when we got married or when I gave birth to Noah, nor after in the years that had passed or when we slept together.

He held himself back through the entire duration of our marriage. I gave him my all but he gave me nothing in return except pain and heartache.

We were married but instead of two, there were three of us in our marriage. Him, me and the love of his life. The woman he’s refused to let go for nine long years.

Tears fill my eyes but I rub them way. I was tired of crying. Tired of chasing after a man that didn’t want me.

“Has anyone ever told you it’s rude to listen to other people’s conversations?”

His deep voice cuts through the silent space. Interrupting my thoughts in the process. I square my shoulders and enter the kitchen.

There he stands near the kitchen counter. My now ex-husband, Rowan Woods.

His mocking grey eyes pins me to the spot.

My eyes shift to my son. My pride and joy. The only good thing in my life. His good looks are definitely curtesy of his dad. He has my brown hair and his penetrating grey eyes.

“Hello” I give them a small smile.

“Hi mommy” Noah places his half eaten sandwich down and jumps down from the counter. He rushes to me and hugs my mid-section. “I’ve missed you”

“Missed you too, my love” I kiss his forehead before he steps away from me and goes back to his food.

I stand there awkwardly. This used to be my home, but now I feel out of place in it. Like I don’t belong.

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